14 months to go!

foxgloves

You're welcome, @honeybee1234, & I hope the anxiety situation improves for you. I found that resilience was really key to getting back to at least approaching normality. I am such a planner & found this helped tremendously. It's still my first weapon of coping in difficult or stressful situations. I am that person whose handbag contains everything that might possibly be needed, my outfit is hanging up from the night before ready to put straight on if I'm anticipating a stressful day. I have a silver bangle which has a nice calming mantra on it (a present from my Mum & Dad - the last year we were all together as a family before my Dad died) which I always wear when I have to do something I'd rather not be doing, food & snacks will be planned so I don't feel wobbly (low blood sugar symptoms can be quite similar to anxiety ones, I find), I make sure I have my phone, emergency numbers, all those things that sound obvious but are all something less to have to worry about if I know a particularly stressful day is looming. Oh & I make sure I choose an outfit in which I feel comfortable & makes me feel good about myself.
Resilience is so important in budget-land too, isn't it? It's those planning things which ensure there is always enough food in the house to cover a few days of emergency, there is an emergency fund....even though this can take time to build up, it is a vital tool to help us cope when life throws us something horrid or tricky. I'm not quite one of these people who seem to be stocking up for a zombie apocalypse, but I do have a power-cut box of torches, candles, tea-lights, camping stove & wind-up lantern. And you can bet I have plenty of loo rolls stashed in the loft in case that silly old nonsense starts again, lol! And you can bet that the snow shovel & scraper are in the car boot for the beginning of November.
So I think that being a planner (I've always got a diary & notebooks on the go) probably helped me with getting back to normal.....that & asking myself 'What is the worst thing that can possibly happen to me?' & realising that the fear was worse than the outing itself. It isn't always easy though, when that voice in your head is creating all those physical panicky symptoms.
Hope you find some gradual improvement in your symptoms. One positive I have found (& I NEVER would have thought I'd say that, as I hated every moment of my spell of GAD) is that I became much better at recognising anxiety/worry symptoms & have thus been able to get on top of them before they have a chance to become more entrenched.
F x

honeybee1234

@foxgloves that was so interesting to read, thanks! It's fascinating because I relate to a lot of the organisational efforts you've discussed - and while you see them as positive... the difference is I see mine as quite negative, as a failing.

I don't see being organised and planning ahead as negative per se, more that I carry them as a heavy weight of my mental health. A side effect of my mental health for me is I have a great deal of need for control over my daily life, which is insidious and creeps into everything. This is why I get so bothered about my financials, it's when I feel out of control of such a fundamental part of everyday life, I struggle a lot. 

I've been working eventualities into my budget - for example, a 'kids' pot to cover the random unpredictables that arise which has helped a lot so far this month! 

Maybe just seeing planning and being organised as a positive tool might be very useful for my mindset, so I'm going to roll with that and see how it goes 😊 Thanks again! 

honeybee1234

This month has been going quite well so far (am I jinxing myself here?!)

Things are rolling out through the month very smoothly so far. I've been sticking to a rough weekly budget for groceries and this is going well (groceries being my arch-nemesis!) I have 101.04 left out of 220.00 - the problem though is I started early and I appear to be a week short 🤔 Will have a think about this.

My 'kids' pot has provided brain relief from the random requests from my children for unpredicted things. It's been dipped into for necessary requests such as emergency bus fares, and I think I'm going to fund this pot regularly from now for the relief it brings. 

Taking a month off overpaying has provided immense breathing space, and allowed me to fund pots I'd been neglecting. I'm not actually behind, I had gotten a month ahead with paying off my M&S card, so I'm back to being precisely on target, but this is fine. 

I've given myself the target of making 50.00 in overpayments myself, and I need to tot this up to see where I am so far

So for today:

>> I may go grocery shopping in a bit, or might go tomorrow depending on how I'm feeling this morning 

>> add up overpayments so far this month

>> check Prolific for available surveys

>> package up and post Vinted sale (again this may be tomorrow depending on how I'm feeling this morning)

>> use up leftover ricotta in a cake

Happy Thursday all! 

foxgloves

That is so interesting, @honeybee1234. I've never seen planning & being organised as a negative or a burden, only ever as a positive thing. I actually enjoy planning & if it helps dial down stressy situations, that's an added bonus. We are all different though & one person's way of tackling things may not suit another person. I guess, as with everything else, the trick is to find whatever works best for us as individuals.
F x

honeybee1234

foxgloves said:

That is so interesting, @honeybee1234. I've never seen planning & being organised as a negative or a burden, only ever as a positive thing. I actually enjoy planning & if it helps dial down stressy situations, that's an added bonus. We are all different though & one person's way of tackling things may not suit another person. I guess, as with everything else, the trick is to find whatever works best for us as individuals.
F x

@foxgloves I'd say it's the weight of feeling "why can't I just do things without feeling this compelling need to plan down to the very last detail?" Obviously planning financials is very prudent - I do get stuck on a need to have things managed to the penny which trips me up a LOT and causes me stress when life happens and my budget is so rigid that something has to give and ruins the budget completely - or that's what it feels like!

The other stuff - I see it as a heavy weight that I can't shed. It's the "why can't I just leave the house? Why do I have to microplan every last aspect?" My partner is very understanding and humours me 99% of the time, the other 1% gives me a brutal but loving truth that I'm being completely irrational and I need to snap out of it! 😊

honeybee1234

I've been absent for a couple of weeks. My budget has collapsed and I'm at least 100.00 down out of next month's pot (my PIP arrived halfway through the month.)

SITUATION:

>> DS1 started college, and there's been a number of expenses I've covered such as bus fares, lunch money and college essentials such as folders/paper/pens/etc. The ex has put in an application to college for support which may provide help with bus fares and possibly other things so we're waiting to hear. Packed lunches have been sorted so we should be okay from now with that.

>> I have two adult children, one of whom has just finished university, has moved into a shared house and is making their way but realising how expensive living as a single adult is. They have x2 jobs and struggle with mental health so I'm constantly wary. I've had a handful of requests for help towards food so I've sent money, and they pay back what they can.

My other adult child has just started university and their maintenance loan doesn't even cover their accommodation fees 😭 They're applying for jobs every day and getting down about not getting responses. I've had to help with money for food.

>> My grocery budget started amazingly... then crashed and burned. I budgeted a week short, and also overspent anyway. I'm looking at receipts this weekend. I keep getting this budget wrong and it's getting me down. The Christmas pot has been raided and this has upset me also.