Damaged Fence by Neighbour

moacs

The fence that is in my back garden has been damaged by my neighbour's kid it seems. I used the word seems because I didn't catch them in the act. The reason why I said that they damaged it is because they would play football in their back garden and when the ball ends up in my garden, they would jump the fence to come and pick the ball. The fence is waist height so anyone can jump over. I've seen the youngest of the two lads who is about 8 years jump over the fence and he has to put his hand on the fence to jump over. I honestly didn't mind them coming to pick the ball but considering I just moved to the property some months ago, I was expecting the parents to ask if I was okay with the kids coming to pick the ball in my back garden. The parents didn't say a word since moving in Feb 2025. Would they have had the same attitude if I didn't have a physical disability? Sorry to digress, now back to the fence. To be fair, the fence is old but the fence would have stayed up if the kids where not putting their weight on the fence to jump over. They have 4 balls in my garden currently and I've decided not to go retrieve the balls. I've in the past threw the balls back to their garden whether they asked me or not but just really annoyed with the damaged fence. I need your advice on how to handle this issue? Does it matter who has responsibility for the fence in this instance. I need to check the documents from the lawyers to see if it is my responsibility. If I repair the fence, there is no guarantee the kids won't damage it again.

kazwookie

Check the deeds, and replace with a six foot fence, and a couple of holly bushes your side of the fence, or other such prickly type shrubs

user1977

moacs said:

The parents didn't say a word since moving in Feb 2025. Would they have had the same attitude if I didn't have a physical disability?

Have you said hello to them?

Myci85

Do you have a side access gate? Maybe pop round and say that you're happy for them to come round to get the balls when they come over, as you're worried the fence will get even more damaged with them continuing jumping over. Shows you're a reasonable person and opens up for them to ask about the damage.
Having been the parent in this situation (not the jumping the fence, but balls going over regularly) I was very grateful for my lovely neighbours who told my boys to just go round and get the balls back, no need to knock, rather than being the kind of neighbours who got cross about it. We were able to return the favour when my boys had grown up and my neighbours grandkids would play football in their garden. 

Tabieth

Firstly I’d knock, introduce yourself and say hello. If they haven’t said a word to you, I presume you haven’t said a word to them?

Then decide how much of an issue it is. If it really bothers you, plant a prickly hedge alongside a new fence. That’ll stop them jumping over. Or you could just put up with it. They won’t be kids for long and it won’t last. 

Whatever you do I wouldn’t let it become an issue with the neighbours. It probably was the kids who broke your fence but you can’t prove it. Good neighbourly relations are more important I’d say. 

Brie

I agree what the others have said.

And I'd also suggest compassion roses to be planted.  These grow rapidly, will quickly be 7 feet high if supported and 14 ft wide.  They are covered with some incredibly lethal thorns but also have the most lovely blooms  - pink buds opening to yellow flowers tinged with orange and a most beautiful fragrance.  A good deterrent and a thing of joy to view.  

moacs

Thanks for the advice folks. I've said hello to them and we do have a quick chat every now and then when I see them in the front or back garden. The husband and I were chatting about the decoration that he was doing in the younger boy's room a few weeks ago. 

I really appreciate the advice. Before this damage happened, I was in the process of installing a ring outdoor camera for the back garden. I need to speed that up, I suppose.

QrizB

We've lived in our current home for almost 20.years. For all that time our neighbours have had achool-age children (not always the same children, or the same neighbours!) and stray footballs pursued by footballers have been a regular feature.

Fence panels aren't as cheap as they once were, but they're a modest cost for not falling out with the neighbours.

WIAWSNB

'Good' neighbourly relations are worth a huge amount. 
Obviously the two parties involved here have slightly different standards - you wouldn't let your kids do this - but it's a pretty minor issue by most neighbourly issues.
Unless, of course, it is a big issue to you, in which case you can take action to prevent it - but really try and avoid 'going there'.
What to do? I guess have a friendly, smiley chat and point out that the fence is not in good repair, and won't cope with being climbed over - and you are concerned about their kids being hurt, "So please ask them not to climb over my fence."
Instead, make it clear that you will return the balls whenever you come across them, or as soon as you can if they let you know it's happened. At the moment you are holding on to them, which is really not a good idea as they don't belong to you. In any situation which could possibly build up to a 'dispute' or action being required, I'd suggest the very first rule for the wronged party is to behave in a totally unimpeachable manner; be 'perfect'! Be super-reasonable. Do NOT give the other part ANY excuse to counter you with their own accusations. Just DON'T!
As suggested by others, you could even suggest they retrieve them themselves by coming through the correct way, but be certain you're ok about this - you could add that they seek your permission first, for example, perhaps adding a reason like that you - or someone else in your home - would be spooked by just seeing someone unannounced in your garden, so 'please do ask first...'.
Bottom line, yes it's inconsiderate behaviour, but I think tolerable for most folk. And it ain't the kid's fault, but their parents'. On the positive side, it's good they play outside, and it'll also be good for them to realise there's a kind person next door. Positive role models are hugely important at that age.

elsien

Would they have been the same if you didn’t have a physical disability?
Yes.

Children being thoughtless is not disability related, it’s children being children. 

And if you haven’t said anything to the neighbours in a nice way, they’re not going to know that you are miffed about it, are they?

david29dpo

`Who owns the fence? Even if the deeds says its yours is it possible next door replaced it slightly on there side in the past? 
Have you or next door ever replaced the fence while you have been there?
Until you find out be careful what you do or say.