Dad and his new younger partner - pension, savings and retirement issues

Loldoll

Hello all! Seeking advice not for me, but for my dad.

Dad is in his early 60s, with around three-four years left until state pension age. Due to a lifetime of patchy NI contributions and self-employed or casual work, he doesn’t qualify for even a minimum state pension. He has no savings, no property, and he gave up his secure tenancy last year when he moved in with his current partner, who’s in her early 40s and is a high earner / homeowner. 

He hasn’t worked now for some time. He has some minor health limitations, but mostly, it just didn’t make much sense financially as his income was very limited (probably about a tenth of hers), so when they moved in together, she took on the main financial role. He’s always been more of a dreamer than a planner, you know, incredibly optimistic, sometimes to a fault, and not very focused on long-term security.

From what we (me and my siblings) could see, his partner is kind and generous and has been incredibly good to him and his children (he also has young kids from the most recent relationship). We like her and have no suspicions about her intentions. But the reality is, they’re not married, there’s no will or cohabitation agreement, and she’s not from the UK, so she may eventually decide to return home (or simply move on, life happens!). And because he lives with a high earner (even if not married!), he’s weirdly not eligible for benefits even though he has absolutely nothing of his own (no savings, assets, pension or property). So he effectively relies only on her good will.

He tends to be very hopeful about his relationships, always believing they’ll last forever, but they never do. We’ve seen that before, he's been married several times. After his last divorce (four years ago), he came to live with one of us and relied heavily on family support until he got back on his feet. That’s fine, we love him just as he is, but he’s older now, and we all now have families and obligations of our own. If something did happen, we’re not sure he’d have many options, and we’re trying to avoid a last-minute scramble down the line.

So we’re looking for advice on how he might take some steps now to protect himself, without needing to disrupt or unsettle his current relationship. Specifically

- Is it still possible for him to pay voluntary NI contributions and qualify for a partial state pension if he doesn't work?

- Would marriage to his partner offer him any meaningful financial or legal security now, or would it mean nothing if it doesn't last for a long time (some online advice seems to suggest marriages under 10 years don't count)?

- Are cohabitation agreements or declarations of trust in this circumstance practically useful or even enforceable?

- Is there any realistic route back into social housing after giving up a secure tenancy? He's in London and it looks like as a single male he would be on the bottom of the priority list, or expected to share with other people (which means his kids won't be able to stay overnight)?

And if there is a need to have a conversation about any of this with his partner (since he definitely won’t) is there a sensitive way to raise it that doesn’t feel intrusive or accusatory? Maybe this is outside of this forum's competence, we just feel increasingly uneasy about the situation he's in, and it will become only more complicated as he gets older.

TARDIS

If he has children under 12 he should look at whether he could claim child benefit NI credits. I think you might be able to do it retrospectively too.

Might not be able to if his ex-partner is already claiming them but worth considering.

Cobbler_tone

Loldoll said:

Hello all! Seeking advice not for me, but for my dad.

he's been married several times. 

- Would marriage to his partner offer him any meaningful financial or legal security now, or would it mean nothing if it doesn't last for a long time (some online advice seems to suggest marriages under 10 years don't count)?

Firstly, all the best to your dad and it is nice that you are trying to look out for him.
It is the first time I have heard someone described as being married "several times" 
I would advise him to try it one more time, although his partner may have other ideas. She must have felt compelled enough to invite him to her house to live together. If I was in his position I would recognise the situation I was in and do everything to be the most supportive partner I could. She could be 'the one!'.
It should be a priority to get some money behind him (i.e. get a job because it definitely makes financial sense!), which will also sort his NI issues out.

There won't be a magic wand to make his alternative options particularly attractive. I'd say the priority is to work.

Loldoll

TARDIS said:

If he has children under 12 he should look at whether he could claim child benefit NI credits. I think you might be able to do it retrospectively too.

Might not be able to if his ex-partner is already claiming them but worth considering.

Thank you, that's something we haven't considered - does the child benefit not go to the mother (resident parent) automatically? Yes his children are young primary age. Can he claim child benefit if his partner earns above the threshold (way above from what I understand, like mid 6 figures).

Loldoll

Cobbler_tone said:

Loldoll said:

Hello all! Seeking advice not for me, but for my dad.

he's been married several times. 

- Would marriage to his partner offer him any meaningful financial or legal security now, or would it mean nothing if it doesn't last for a long time (some online advice seems to suggest marriages under 10 years don't count)?

Firstly, all the best to your dad and it is nice that you are trying to look out for him.
It is the first time I have heard someone described as being married "several times" 
I would advise him to try it one more time, although his partner may have other ideas. She must have felt compelled enough to invite him to her house to live together. If I was in his position I would recognise the situation I was in and do everything to be the most supportive partner I could. She could be 'the one!'.
It should be a priority to get some money behind him (i.e. get a job because it definitely makes financial sense!), which will also sort his NI issues out.

There won't be a magic wand to make his alternative options particularly attractive. I'd say the priority is to work.

---

Thank you! Haha, yes, I see what you mean by “several marriages”. I didn’t want to give the exact number because that might sound worse than it is. He’s not a serial cheater or a womaniser, nothing like that. He’s actually a really kind and sincere person who’s been genuinely in love each time, always wanting it to last. But he’s also very impractical and tends to fall for the same type (strong, capable, industrious women) and I think they just end up exhausted.

I love him deeply, but I can’t ignore that this pattern has repeated a few times now. And yes, we do believe he should be working in some form, even if it’s not strictly for the money. Sadly, he doesn’t see it the same way.

This all came up after a family get-together over the bank holiday, where he was joking about being a trophy husband. We were like, “Sure, Dad… but you’re not a husband, technically! More like a toyboy, and those don’t come with much protection if things fall apart!”. Not that we said it aloud, of course, but we all had the same thought.

squirrelpie

Yes he can still pay voluntary NI in order to qualify for a state pension. He should check online how many years he already has - he needs a minimum of ten to get any state pension. If he is still self-employed (or can become again) then it is a lot cheaper than if he isn't.

Loldoll

squirrelpie said:

Yes he can still pay voluntary NI in order to qualify for a state pension. He should check online how many years he already has - he needs a minimum of ten to get any state pension. If he is still self-employed (or can become again) then it is a lot cheaper than if he isn't.

He has three full years and one "not full" year now. 

Linton

He needs 10 yeares NI to get any State Pension.  With just 10 years he will be due about £65/week at current rates. So he has enough time to get there by the time he reaches SP age by using the 6 past years and some in the future.

1 years voluntary NI costs around £900 which may seem a lot.  But given the 3 years he already has it is repaid in SP which he would otherwise not receive in about 2 years.  So certainly worth doing.

NickPoole

hmmm it might be his current partner is happy for him to live with her as it saves him money, but that doesn't mean she accepts responsibility for him forever and a day. And even if she does now, as others point out, things change.

let's consider worse case scenario. They split up, he has no job and no income (and no pension coming) - he's in the hands of the welfare state, or seeking hospitality of his family/friends.

If he ends up having to rent and claim housing costs, then having no pension will mean he can claim pension credit and get help with his housing costs - but where he lives will be very much a lottery (unless of course his family take him in) - I think he can claim pension credit if living with family assuming not a "partner".

Unless he has a big chunk of money to pay missing years I think he'll be on the means-tested version, or reliant on his partner.

eastcorkram

If he has no savings, and no income, how would he fund the purchase of voluntary NI contributions??

LHW99

Thank you, that's something we haven't considered - does the child benefit not go to the mother (resident parent) automatically? Yes his children are young primary age. Can he claim child benefit if his partner earns above the threshold (way above from what I understand, like mid 6 figures).

Child benefit goes to the parent who has claimed it. However, if the children's mother has not claimed (perhaps because doesn't need to / doesn't qualify), he can make a claim, but refuse the payments as his partner is a high earner. That means he still gets the NI credits (but no extra money).