Lodger experiences

Rosa_Damascena

goldfinches said:

Rosa_Damascena said:

Baldytyke88 said:

Rosa_Damascena said:

The thought of having to share my home with a stranger makes my blood run cold    

Having said that a couple of years ago I read a charming book about a young man lodging in a London house with a much older widow (in her eighties), including through the pandemic. It documented all her little eccentricities and I'd recommend it (reading, not lodging!). If only I could remember who the author is! I know he has had something else published lately, I just can't remember his name.

The book is likely "The London House" by Emma Gaskin. This novel features a young woman, Rosie, who lives and works in a London house with a widowed older woman, Mrs. Dalloway, who is in her eighties. The book explores themes of love, loss, and generational change

A different book I'm afraid, the book I read is modern day and read like a diary. It is written very much in the present and details the habitual quirks of the feisty owner and the way in which their lives intersected. It was a bit sad albeit predictable that it ended with the elderly home owner sustaining a fall on her outdoor steps and ended up in hospital. 

@Rosa_Damascena - could the book you mention be The Marmalade Diaries by Ben Aitken? The reviews make it sound rather good if it is the right one.

That's the one! A charming book that is well worth reading.

Honeylife

Don't ever confuse "Houseshare" and Lodger.  

I belong to a cohort of 6 Landladies with lodgers. The last one to "join us" had a new female lodger who insisted it was a Houseshare and that the bathroom on her floor was her exclusive use only.  It was not, it just happened to be on that floor.  She also had a boyfriend who came over every single night for dinner.  She cooked three-course meals for him, then she wanted him to sleep over almost every night!  So two of us other Landladies went over to support our anxious friend and have a word with the Lodger and explain that her boyfriend could not come over every night for a cooked dinner, or there would be an increase in ££s for the additional use of utilities.

The best way to resolve this is to suggest equal visits to a partner's place.

Sleeping over can initially seem reasonable, but that is an additional use of your facilities, and you have not had that person checked, so you don't know what they are doing at night prowling around your house. Plus, there are occasions when you can hear the physical night activity, which is not embarrassing but just irritating! So limit the sleepovers.  Family (parents and siblings) can also feel they have the right to sleep over frequently; be firm about that.  I now understand why my landlady back in the 70s said absolutely no guests sleeping over. If you don't like it, say so and stick to it regardless of whether you come over as "out of date".
 
You have to be firm with Lodgers; if it isn't working (this is not a good fit), give them notice.  

However, to counteract the negativity, your invisible and written house rules can take some adjustment on both sides. 

Whatever you decide.  Don't be uncomfortable in your home, and finally, it goes without saying, the extra income is Great! 

MarriedtoFinn

Jay1_2 
Hi, Just a thought, but a lodger who doesn't pay but has cleaning (and/or other duties), isn't that an au pair?  Oh, but you have to pay an au pair a little something!
Also, same as many others have said, HAVE RULES!  Have them written, visible, and be assertive. 
Get a friend to come over if necessary, if you have to "have a discussion" with the visitor, if they are not towing the line/are taking advantage.
You must have your own private space, and your own times to do necessary tasks like laundry etc. Make it to YOUR convenience, not theirs.  You can't feel like a visitor in your own house, it would be terrible and you'd never again have this opportunity of making a bit of money if it was so off-putting.
All the best with it, especially if you take lots of great advice from here!