Lodger experiences

Baldytyke88

Rosa_Damascena said:

The thought of having to share my home with a stranger makes my blood run cold    

Having said that a couple of years ago I read a charming book about a young man lodging in a London house with a much older widow (in her eighties), including through the pandemic. It documented all her little eccentricities and I'd recommend it (reading, not lodging!). If only I could remember who the author is! I know he has had something else published lately, I just can't remember his name.

The book is likely "The London House" by Emma Gaskin. This novel features a young woman, Rosie, who lives and works in a London house with a widowed older woman, Mrs. Dalloway, who is in her eighties. The book explores themes of love, loss, and generational change

CrazyBee787

I have had three lodgers, the first set himself in my seat and then opened my bedroom door at night, thankfully I had one weeks notice period and he left without a fuss. The second I tried to befriend and he said when I asked if he would like to play pool that he rather do this with friends, you see in such a small space you really need to get along he left after a few months after I asked him to leave as it just didn't feel good being around someone so closely that didn't really want to get to know you. The third lodger who is here now is very nice, we chat we have meals toegther and enjoy each others company and he said he would like to come back to me if he gets another contract/ visa I like our time together. So I would say it doesn't always work but when it does it is great!

Bookworm225

CrazyBee787 said:

I have had three lodgers, the first set himself in my seat and then opened my bedroom door at night, thankfully I had one weeks notice period and he left without a fuss. The second I tried to befriend and he said when I asked if he would like to play pool that he rather do this with friends, you see in such a small space you really need to get along he left after a few months after I asked him to leave as it just didn't feel good being around someone so closely that didn't really want to get to know you. The third lodger who is here now is very nice, we chat we have meals toegther and enjoy each others company and he said he would like to come back to me if he gets another contract/ visa I like our time together. So I would say it doesn't always work but when it does it is great!

each to their own but it is important to remember that they are looking for somewhere to live, they are not looking for a friend. Cordial relations is of course an absolute necessity when sharing a roof, but never forget it is your house, not theirs.
If you want company in your house then as you have found, getting a lodger is not a good way to do it, but if you want money, then getting a lodger is the only way to do it.

Rosa_Damascena

Baldytyke88 said:

Rosa_Damascena said:

The thought of having to share my home with a stranger makes my blood run cold    

Having said that a couple of years ago I read a charming book about a young man lodging in a London house with a much older widow (in her eighties), including through the pandemic. It documented all her little eccentricities and I'd recommend it (reading, not lodging!). If only I could remember who the author is! I know he has had something else published lately, I just can't remember his name.

The book is likely "The London House" by Emma Gaskin. This novel features a young woman, Rosie, who lives and works in a London house with a widowed older woman, Mrs. Dalloway, who is in her eighties. The book explores themes of love, loss, and generational change

A different book I'm afraid, the book I read is modern day and read like a diary. It is written very much in the present and details the habitual quirks of the feisty owner and the way in which their lives intersected. It was a bit sad albeit predictable that it ended with the elderly home owner sustaining a fall on her outdoor steps and ended up in hospital. 

Sensible_Jess

I had, generally, a very good experience with a lodger and have only piece of advice:
Think very carefully about the boundaries you want to lay down about visitors, overnight guests etc. Consider if these rules will apply equally to you and your lodger. Be very clear about 'red lines' - for instance, overnight guests ok, but for a maximum if two nights each week? And you would prefer not to meet them for the first time at breakfast? (Old fashioned I know)

As you may have guessed, I didn't think too carefully about potential guest scenarios up front, and towards the end my lodger"s new boyfriend virtually lived in my house too (didn't have his own place). It was something I wish I had tackled more firmly from the start.

Slinky

I was a lodger in a flat with a couple, who eventually asked me to leave as I was at home too much. They said their previous lodger had a boyfriend and spent most of her time at his place.... basically they wanted the money but not the person to live there.

I had relatives who had a lodger who lived with them for so long that when they passed away, they left him the house. He didn't want to live there without them, moved into some retired services accommodation and gave the house away to some people he met on the allotments.....  

No accounting for folk.

FlorayG

Sensible_Jess said:

 It was something I wish I had tackled more firmly from the start.

Absolutely. This is where landlord/lodger relationships go wrong, so, like I said, put even the simplest things on the agreement and never let things slide. Also, it's your house, your rules. I NEVER allow overnight guests and make that plain from the start. If a potential lodger can't cope with that then they don't have to take the room

Jay1_2

I've read this as I occasionally think of becoming a lodger, to save money and have company. But I'd be the terrible lodger who never cleaned 😆

Something else I've thought of is having a lodger with free rent in return for cleaning. I don't know whether I'd have to pay them as well.

CrazyBee787

Jay1_2 said:

I've read this as I occasionally think of becoming a lodger, to save money and have company. But I'd be the terrible lodger who never cleaned 😆

Something else I've thought of is having a lodger with free rent in return for cleaning. I don't know whether I'd have to pay them as well.

I shouldn't think you would need to pay them if they cleaned! Sounds like a great idea.

FreeBear

Jay1_2 said: Something else I've thought of is having a lodger with free rent in return for cleaning. I don't know whether I'd have to pay them as well.

I have briefly considered this. But the loss of the single person CTAX discount plus the increase in utility bills makes it cheaper to just get a cleaner in once a week or so.