Lodger experiences

mathilde

My flat is small enough that I couldn't in good conscience ask someone to stay out of common areas. Wrt the thermostat, I would hate to have to lock it/police it. Maybe the answer is to have someone share the heating bills, so they're not tempted to crank up the heat.

It's funny about the written rules. I see what you mean, but sometimes the codifying can go too far--I'd rather just have a simple agreement like "Keep the place clean". But then I tend to assume that most normal adults will do things like wipe down/squeegie the shower after use, or leave the kitchen clean after a meal. 

Bookworm225

mathilde said:

It's funny about the written rules. I see what you mean, but sometimes the codifying can go too far--I'd rather just have a simple agreement like "Keep the place clean". But then I tend to assume that most normal adults will do things like wipe down/squeegie the shower after use, or leave the kitchen clean after a meal. 

and that is the nub of the issue, how they live may not be how you live and you can't know for sure until they start living with you.

taking a lodger means you WILL have to compromise on your own standards or you will become a prison warder punishing every infraction .

BungalowBel

mathilde said:

My flat is small enough that I couldn't in good conscience ask someone to stay out of common areas. Wrt the thermostat, I would hate to have to lock it/police it. Maybe the answer is to have someone share the heating bills, so they're not tempted to crank up the heat.

It's funny about the written rules. I see what you mean, but sometimes the codifying can go too far--I'd rather just have a simple agreement like "Keep the place clean". But then I tend to assume that most normal adults will do things like wipe down/squeegie the shower after use, or leave the kitchen clean after a meal. 

Er....no, do not assume that.  Your idea of 'clean' and theirs may be two completely  different things.  You need to have good, clear rules.

NB :  I don't think any of my lodgers voluntarily  cleaned the shower.  They saw that as my job because they paid to live there.

saajan_12

mathilde said:

My flat is small enough that I couldn't in good conscience ask someone to stay out of common areas. Wrt the thermostat, I would hate to have to lock it/police it. Maybe the answer is to have someone share the heating bills, so they're not tempted to crank up the heat.

It's funny about the written rules. I see what you mean, but sometimes the codifying can go too far--I'd rather just have a simple agreement like "Keep the place clean". But then I tend to assume that most normal adults will do things like wipe down/squeegie the shower after use, or leave the kitchen clean after a meal. 

There's still differences eg does it mean keep it clean at all times, ie straight after using something, or do a bigger clean at the end of the week / when there's a full load of dishes to wash, etc? Does their share of cleaning mean clean up major crumbs and spillages, or actually alternate with you on scrubbing the hob, fridge, hoovering, mopping, scrubbing bathroom walls, etc? 

I wouldn't expect the rues to really be enforceable, but it sets up the expectations and is an easier way to talk about it before they move in, so both sides can work out if that suits their way of working. 

FlorayG

I take lodgers - I've had 4 so far since living here. There's no rule that says they can't use the living room but three of them NEVER have and one (the best lodger I had, he was 50 and had been in lodgings his entire adult life!) would only use it if I was out - some days I would come home and see through the window him getting up and going back to his room. Most lodgers tend to stay in their own room.
My rules are not onerous but I am very strict about them and I think that's the secret. You do have to make even basic rules and write them down from day one e.g. "You can use any equipment in the kitchen except my knives, please wash up and put away things after use". If the rule is broken, they get spoken to about it and usually only requires one reminder. You absolutely need to be forthright enough to speak up - if you're a pushover type, do not take a lodger.
I get friendly with them but never friends. We don't share meals or entertainment - although one has become a friend since she moved out to her own flat nearby.

FlorayG

mathilde said:

But then I tend to assume that most normal adults will do things like wipe down/squeegie the shower after use, or leave the kitchen clean after a meal. 

You assume wrong. Seriously, many people need to be reminded about what seems the most basic stuff

Jude57

mathilde said:

My flat is small enough that I couldn't in good conscience ask someone to stay out of common areas. Wrt the thermostat, I would hate to have to lock it/police it. Maybe the answer is to have someone share the heating bills, so they're not tempted to crank up the heat.

It's funny about the written rules. I see what you mean, but sometimes the codifying can go too far--I'd rather just have a simple agreement like "Keep the place clean". But then I tend to assume that most normal adults will do things like wipe down/squeegie the shower after use, or leave the kitchen clean after a meal. 

No, don't expect a lodger to agree to share the heating or any other bills. It's years ago now but when I first had two lodgers in my home, I expected that we'd split the utility bills 3 ways. Then one lodger refused because he went home to his parents' farm every Friday evening and returned on Sunday evening so wanted to pro-rate the bills. Then the other lodger pointed out that his work meant he was away at least two nights each week and he, too, wanted to pro-rate the bills. At least in those days the landline bill was unarguable! When they moved out around the same time, I increased the rent to cover utilities because I had bills showing what the costs of three adults in the house were likely to be.

For cleaning, again, one of my first lodgers flatly refused to take a turn cleaning the common areas despite of course using them. In his view, he was paying rent and other than clearing up in the kitchen and keeping his own room clean, his rent should cover anything else. Ultimately, we three agreed to get a cleaner in for a couple of hours a week and split the cost three ways. It was money well spent and again, I included it in the future lodgers' rent. It was something I could put in the advert for the rooms, along the lines of 'utilities (except phone) and cleaning of common areas included '. 

As you might have guessed, I didn't have a written agreement at first and had to learn the hard way that lodgers are not going to necessarily be willing to do as you might wish them to do. It's far easier all round if requirements and expectations are set out clearly from the start so that everyone knows the rules. You'd think that you wouldn't have to spell out things like not using your toiletries but, having had a male lodger who happily used mine so that I was forced to start using a toilet bag to cart my stuff back and forth all the time. That situation was made worse because I had told him when he moved in that the notice period was one month. Thankfully, he literally left his key in the mantelpiece and disappeared the day before his next rent was due. He didn't do any damage or anything but that last month was uncomfortable to say the least. And yes, I changed the locks after every lodger because I couldn't know for certain if they'd given away or kept copies.

I'd say, think of the very worst case scenario and make it plain in the Lodger Agreement how it will be dealt with. Don't give a notice period of longer than 7 days, include utilities, household consumables like loo roll and washing up liquid and perhaps a cleaner for the common areas in the rent and don't, whatever you do, presume that your lodgers will be reasonable adults. Better to have unused and unneeded clauses in the Lodger Agreement than be unable to resolve an issue with a lodger who doesn't have to leave for a month but is prepared to argue the toss over every little thing.  

P.S. The lodger who argued about utilities and cleaning became a good friend and when I sold that house far quicker than I expected, he kindly offered me a room in his lovely home for as long as I needed it. And yes, he took the cleaner to do his house too!

FreeBear

Jude57 said: Don't give a notice period of longer than 7 days, include utilities, household consumables like loo roll

Don't underestimate just how much toilet roll a lodger can get through - Had one that would use a roll and a half each day and clog up the drain at least once a week.

Jude57

FreeBear said:

Jude57 said: Don't give a notice period of longer than 7 days, include utilities, household consumables like loo roll

Don't underestimate just how much toilet roll a lodger can get through - Had one that would use a roll and a half each day and clog up the drain at least once a week.

  indeed! 

Rosa_Damascena

The thought of having to share my home with a stranger makes my blood run cold    

Having said that a couple of years ago I read a charming book about a young man lodging in a London house with a much older widow (in her eighties), including through the pandemic. It documented all her little eccentricities and I'd recommend it (reading, not lodging!). If only I could remember who the author is! I know he has had something else published lately, I just can't remember his name.