What options do I have? I am very concerned about my future

Cuticuraser

Uriziel said:

Your partner is not your child. Why are you promising her anything? Are you her father? She is an adult. Explain to her the problems and figure out a solution together. You write that you are concerned about your future but also that you go to an expensive gym and an big yearly holiday. It sounds like you also are able to leave your home and continue paying a mortgage and rent of a new flat? It does not sound like you have any faith in your partner or any expectations financially.
You write that you have bought this flat yourself which means that you own it and you have gotten a mortgage on this yourself. Get your partner to get back to work and then get a new mortgage with her which should easily allow you to buy something else and then sell your flat at a loss. Getting your partner to foot a mortgage with you will increase your budget by a lot more than the 50k you are losing from the sale.
Having said that I have the impression that you like to pay for your partner and you are trying to desperately keep her happy.

sheramber said:

The option you have is to sit down together with your fiancé and go through your income and expenses.
  One up with a joint budget and a plan to save for the future.

It is not up to you to provide your finance with a new house on a better area. It a joint process , with both of fully committed to i
proving things.

What is your fiancé doing about getting a job? Most supermarkets have vacancies on a regular basis. Any job that brings in money will do. 

If she is being choosy about what she does she is not committed to your relationship. 

Time for  tete a tete.

caprikid1 said:

It looks like you are on the verge of making a spiral into debt. In attempting to please your partner in the short term you will destroy your future. Negative equity with your existing home will not be solved by renting it out, with voids , tax and damage your £50K negative equity will become a £70K issue with associated credit card debt when to try and provide a life you cannot afford.

This is very much a turning point. Move when you have £50K in the bank to pay of the negative equity. Anything else you do before that has only one outcome.

If your partner pressures you into any other decision it's at your peril.

I don't think you guys fully understand the situation so let me be clear. My partner works in admin, her salary is about £40,000. My salary is around £150,000. I have built equity into the flat over the years so I have around £45,000 in equity, but then as the flat price has reduced, any equity I have is lost. If I sell for around £50,000 less than what I originally got it for, I am pretty much breaking even.

In terms of savings, my parner and I have around £40,000. My mortgage is around £1200 PCM. If we move and rent out in a nicer area the rent will be around £2500 PCM.

I am worried because it may take a long time before the flat is sold and I have been promising my partner that we will move for a while now.

elsien

Although it would’ve been helpful if she had given a bit more of that information in your first post, I’m not sure it changes very much.

You’re not going be a negative equity, so that’s a good thing, but you still need to sell your flat in order to move -  either that or leave an empty flat with higher rates of council tax as an unoccupied property plusthe usual insurance, utility standing charges et cetera.

Your flat will take as long to sell as it takes. Whatever promises you’ve made your girlfriend she still needs to understand the situation and be patient. 

Cuticuraser

elsien said:

Although it would’ve been helpful if she had given a bit more of that information in your first post, I’m not sure it changes very much.

You’re not going be a negative equity, so that’s a good thing, but you still need to sell your flat in order to move -  either that or leave an empty flat with higher rates of council tax as an unoccupied property plusthe usual insurance, utility standing charges et cetera.

Your flat will take as long to sell as it takes. Whatever promises you’ve made your girlfriend she still needs to understand the situation and be patient. 

As my partner is no longer working, we cannot afford to continue paying a mortgage on an empty flat and rent out in a nicer area. For context, she wants to live in inner London area like Chiswick, Hampstead or Islington. A decent 1 bed flats in such areas start from around £2500 PCM. My car lease renewal is coming up and that will also increase

400ixl

So is your partner earning 40k or not working, you say both in 2 posts.

Put simply, you can't afford what she desires without going into debt and if your partner can't see that and accept it then .....

lincroft1710

I don't know what you are expecting people to suggest.


Either sell the flat, take the hit and move into a more expensive area or remain where you are until the mortgage is paid.  

Catwales

Tell your partner you're not in a position to move right now. How do you expect your relationship to last when you're not being completely open and honest with them

sheramber

Then tell her you will be able to
move when the flat is sold , and get it in the market. 

There is  no magic bullet .

You both need to realise that you live  in the real world where you live within your means and miracles don’t happen.

Work out a way forward TOGETHER, and don’t treat her as a child by making promises to her. 

 She is an adult like you and needs to be part of the solution. 

silvercar

So your no longer working partner wants to live in Hampstead! She needs a reality check. Value yourself more, don’t put yourself in the role of her meal ticket. She is with you because she wants to be, not because she sees you as a way to live her dream, we hope. And if this isn’t true, you need to find out now not in 5 years time.

Cuticuraser

400ixl said:

So is your partner earning 40k or not working, you say both in 2 posts.

Put simply, you can't afford what she desires without going into debt and if your partner can't see that and accept it then .....

So she has just quit her job and said she needs time off to figure things out. Her salarly was £40,000 and she worked in admin.

Savvy_Sue

Cuticuraser said:

400ixl said:

So is your partner earning 40k or not working, you say both in 2 posts.

Put simply, you can't afford what she desires without going into debt and if your partner can't see that and accept it then .....

So she has just quit her job and said she needs time off to figure things out. Her salarly was £40,000 and she worked in admin.

Well, one of the things she needs to figure out, with you, is what your joint priorities are, and what needs to happen to achieve them!

If the expensive holidays and pricey gym membership are high priority, then living in Hampstead is unachievable on one salary. 

Don't promise her anything except a commitment to agreed, joint goals.