Being pressured to move house to an are that is not suitable.

HampshireH

Don't do it.

But a few things. You say you will be funding it all and repairs. Why isn't your son paying for his move?

It's going to be tough because it sounds like you son and DIL are bullying you into what they want. Stand your ground. Don't buy them a house because it sounds like they won't thankyou for it and you will be tied.

If the DIL wants to live near her parents then good for them let them go and do it on their own. You can always visit.

Find your own home in the area you want to live in and enjoy these years and or your retirement doing what you have spent your life working towards.

Don't be dictated to by your son. It's gone on long enough if you've spend this amount of time traipsing round houses on viewings 

Procrastinator2

The reason for posting on a forum is that sometimes you need to step back and get independent unbiased opinions. I have spoken to my other family members and they are against us moving to that property. With regard to transport there is only 1 bus per day out and back and the nearest GP is 5 miles away. The nearest small town, where there are buses is 7 to 8 miles and the only hospital about 20 -25 miles. The reason for my son wanting to move is that the area where we live has changed so much recently and he believes that it would be better to raise his children in Norfolk as it has a lower crime rate etc. His wife just wants to move to Norfolk. My wife wants to move because we do not have very nice neighbours and would go anywhere to get away from them. Should things not work out I believe that it would be difficult to sell the house and we would be stuck there as someone mentioned the council tax band could also be increased in the future. I have always been very careful with money but both my son and his wife, although he earns a high salary,  are hopeless and just squander it. We would love to be near the grandchildren but I just don't think this house is a good move for us.

Auti

I am not being rude but I think your last comment says it all. Your son squanders their money because he can - he and his wife view you and your wife as a money pot. After all why should they save if someone else is going to pay for it all (does your son live with you at present?).

Please please do what is best for you and your wife - have fun, make lots of memories and learn new things - it is your time now.

HampshireH

Procrastinator2 said:

I have always been very careful with money but both my son and his wife, although he earns a high salary,  are hopeless and just squander it. We would love to be near the grandchildren but I just don't think this house is a good move for us.

Time for them to grow up then, become responsible with money and support themeselves

pseudodox

OP - so happy to read that all the comments here have confirmed what deep down you wanted to hear.  And you have family support it seems.  Norfolk does not mean your grandchildren will be living on the moon & you can visit, enjoy the rural location then return home to the forever home that will give you enjoyment & independence in retirement.

Now start looking for that new home whilst you are still fit & able to move & make new friends in a community that offers a good life.

It really does seem your son & DIL see you as their meal ticket & as someone remarked earlier a free childcare facility.

400ixl

Jude57 said:

My niece lives in Norfolk and the main thing she hates is the transport infrastructure. Everything is miles apart and the roads are virtually all country roads with low speed limits. Another thing is that it's very difficult to get tradesmen and many will charge for travelling time because of the time it takes to get anywhere. My niece lives in a large village with reasonable facilities nearby such as one supermarket, one GP, one petrol station. It's the lack of choice that I wouldn't want now. My niece is fortunate to work at home but once a month has to attend a group meeting in a village 25 miles away as the crow flies. It takes her between an hour and ten minutes and an hour and forty minutes to drive there, because of the roads. 

As a Norfolk resident, I don't know where your Niece lives or what she has told you, but much of it is total rubbish. 
Driving for an hour in Norfolk from pretty much anywhere would get you right across the whole county, not 25 miles. It is not full of only C class country lanes with 30 mile an hour speed limits as you claim. It doesn't have motorways, but Norwich to London is dual carriage way all the way and there are other Trunk A roads.

Most of the towns are well connected by buses or trains. Many villages not so, but that is a choice you make when. deciding where to live. The county is far from all fields and small hamlets. It is no different to being in other counties such as Hertfordshire, Surrey, Kent etc.

If you want city life then live in / near Norwich (its not London nightlife, but doesn't sound like the OP would want that anyway). If you want good facilities and popular retirement locations then the coastal towns like Cromer or Sheringham may appeal which have lots of facilities including train services. If you want other town then you have Wymondham, North Walsham, Dereham etc all with good facilities and bus / train services.

Not saying the OP should move to Norfolk, but just wanted to correct the perception of the county that people are incorrectly putting out there. There are many locations which do not need a car at all.

I agree with others that the OP should do what is right for them.

sheramber

Procrastinator2 said:

The reason for posting on a forum is that sometimes you need to step back and get independent unbiased opinions. I have spoken to my other family members and they are against us moving to that property. With regard to transport there is only 1 bus per day out and back and the nearest GP is 5 miles away. The nearest small town, where there are buses is 7 to 8 miles and the only hospital about 20 -25 miles. The reason for my son wanting to move is that the area where we live has changed so much recently and he believes that it would be better to raise his children in Norfolk as it has a lower crime rate etc. His wife just wants to move to Norfolk. My wife wants to move because we do not have very nice neighbours and would go anywhere to get away from them. Should things not work out I believe that it would be difficult to sell the house and we would be stuck there as someone mentioned the council tax band could also be increased in the future. I have always been very careful with money but both my son and his wife, although he earns a high salary,  are hopeless and just squander it. We would love to be near the grandchildren but I just don't think this house is a good move for us.

You can move. You just do not have to move with your son and his family to where he would like to live.

You can move to where you will be happy.

Remember NOis a full sentence.

No ifs or buts, no explanations, just NO. 

Procrastinator2

Auti said:

I am not being rude but I think your last comment says it all. Your son squanders their money because he can - he and his wife view you and your wife as a money pot. After all why should they save if someone else is going to pay for it all (does your son live with you at present?).

Please please do what is best for you and your wife - have fun, make lots of memories and learn new things - it is your time now.

You are correct about the money. He has his own house.

Procrastinator2

400ixl said:

Jude57 said:

My niece lives in Norfolk and the main thing she hates is the transport infrastructure. Everything is miles apart and the roads are virtually all country roads with low speed limits. Another thing is that it's very difficult to get tradesmen and many will charge for travelling time because of the time it takes to get anywhere. My niece lives in a large village with reasonable facilities nearby such as one supermarket, one GP, one petrol station. It's the lack of choice that I wouldn't want now. My niece is fortunate to work at home but once a month has to attend a group meeting in a village 25 miles away as the crow flies. It takes her between an hour and ten minutes and an hour and forty minutes to drive there, because of the roads. 

As a Norfolk resident, I don't know where your Niece lives or what she has told you, but much of it is total rubbish. 
Driving for an hour in Norfolk from pretty much anywhere would get you right across the whole county, not 25 miles. It is not full of only C class country lanes with 30 mile an hour speed limits as you claim. It doesn't have motorways, but Norwich to London is dual carriage way all the way and there are other Trunk A roads.

Most of the towns are well connected by buses or trains. Many villages not so, but that is a choice you make when. deciding where to live. The county is far from all fields and small hamlets. It is no different to being in other counties such as Hertfordshire, Surrey, Kent etc.

If you want city life then live in / near Norwich (its not London nightlife, but doesn't sound like the OP would want that anyway). If you want good facilities and popular retirement locations then the coastal towns like Cromer or Sheringham may appeal which have lots of facilities including train services. If you want other town then you have Wymondham, North Walsham, Dereham etc all with good facilities and bus / train services.

Not saying the OP should move to Norfolk, but just wanted to correct the perception of the county that people are incorrectly putting out there. There are many locations which do not need a car at all.

I agree with others that the OP should do what is right for them.

400ixl said:

Jude57 said:

My niece lives in Norfolk and the main thing she hates is the transport infrastructure. Everything is miles apart and the roads are virtually all country roads with low speed limits. Another thing is that it's very difficult to get tradesmen and many will charge for travelling time because of the time it takes to get anywhere. My niece lives in a large village with reasonable facilities nearby such as one supermarket, one GP, one petrol station. It's the lack of choice that I wouldn't want now. My niece is fortunate to work at home but once a month has to attend a group meeting in a village 25 miles away as the crow flies. It takes her between an hour and ten minutes and an hour and forty minutes to drive there, because of the roads. 

As a Norfolk resident, I don't know where your Niece lives or what she has told you, but much of it is total rubbish. 
Driving for an hour in Norfolk from pretty much anywhere would get you right across the whole county, not 25 miles. It is not full of only C class country lanes with 30 mile an hour speed limits as you claim. It doesn't have motorways, but Norwich to London is dual carriage way all the way and there are other Trunk A roads.

Most of the towns are well connected by buses or trains. Many villages not so, but that is a choice you make when. deciding where to live. The county is far from all fields and small hamlets. It is no different to being in other counties such as Hertfordshire, Surrey, Kent etc.

If you want city life then live in / near Norwich (its not London nightlife, but doesn't sound like the OP would want that anyway). If you want good facilities and popular retirement locations then the coastal towns like Cromer or Sheringham may appeal which have lots of facilities including train services. If you want other town then you have Wymondham, North Walsham, Dereham etc all with good facilities and bus / train services.

Not saying the OP should move to Norfolk, but just wanted to correct the perception of the county that people are incorrectly putting out there. There are many locations which do not need a car at all.

I agree with others that the OP should do what is right for them.

You are correct and Norfolk is a lovelty county but the areas that my son wants to move to is isolated if you are unable to drive for any reason. Moving to Norfojk in general is not the problem but as you get older you are probably going to need GP and hospital services more frequently than when you are younger plus access to grocery stores etc. Five miles does not seem far but its along way if you have to walk. I have made an enquiry and  a taxi company said one way was £20. £40 round trip.

400ixl

Procrastinator2 said:

You are correct and Norfolk is a lovelty county but the areas that my son wants to move to is isolated if you are unable to drive for any reason. Moving to Norfojk in general is not the problem but as you get older you are probably going to need GP and hospital services more frequently than when you are younger plus access to grocery stores etc. Five miles does not seem far but its along way if you have to walk. I have made an enquiry and  a taxi company said one way was £20. £40 round trip.

Yep, that applies to any rural area of any county. If they are not willing to compromise and locate somewhere that works for you as well then best tell them to go their own way.

Good that you are making sure the services you will need in the future are accessible before making any decisions.