House selling/buying anxiety

Mustlovedogs

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Pulled Out Before First Viewing – Fear of Letting People Down

I had a viewing booked for my house but ended up pulling out before it even took place. The truth is I was scared of letting people down—both the buyers and myself. I worried that if I went through with the process, I’d feel pressured to accept an offer even if I had doubts and worried I couldn't find somewhere to buy that i was 100% on. We were intending to be fully upfront with buyers about this as we hadn't found anywhere yet, but within our area as soon as houses go up they sell so you have to be ready. 

I know people say you should just test the market, but once you start, it feels like there’s an expectation to follow through. Has anyone else backed out at this stage? Did you regret it, or was it the right decision in the end. Worried now I've let my anxiety about the whole proceed get the better of me. The estate agent was fabulous and understood. It may be that we pause for a bit and then go again (not letting the anxiety get the better of me this time). I just feel that there's still a risk of having to pull out if a house we like goes etc, do buyers understand this ? 

Flugelhorn

it depends why you want to move? as a buyer I always enquired - if people were a bit vague or just fancied a change nearby I was always aware that there was a risk they would pull out of a deal - if they were moving a long way for work, needed a bigger house, divorcing or it was probate then you be a bit more sure it was going to go through 

buyers accept that people are in different circumstances and hence take the risk 

Mustlovedogs

I love the area and we have a decent plot but I really don't like the layout of the downstairs. We have had quotes for renovations but I think it's more or less the same figure and moving just seems less problematic with two toddlers in tow, plus the tradesmen chasing would probably be annoying. It's just the fear of not finding anywhere suitable and I would be very anxious having to let someone down. Need to get past that really to cope with the whole process. I've bought four houses but always managed to avoid a chain through part ex or moving out and waiting but neither are an option this time. 

RAS

It is not unusual for house sales to fall through 2 or three times, so both buyers and vendors need thick skins. It's sometimes naivety, sometimes they find somewhere they prefer, sometimes a problem with the house, sometimes life happens.

So maybe you need to get a bit of help with the anxiety over the next few months, at least someone you can contact when something changes? 

Mustlovedogs

Thank you yes I suppose i need to get over the fact and prepare myself for entering into what is quite a cut throat business. And it is business, not personal. I certainly wouldn't be going in to deliberately mess people around. Thank you 

RAS

There are a very few who do, but most don't. Someone I knew didn't accept an offer. They happened to know the person's buyer's sale would collapse soon. 

The person offering was genuine, but their buyer didn't quite understand the implications of the documents they hadn't got to support building work they'd had done. Neither were malicious.

Mustlovedogs

RAS said:

There are a very few who do, but most don't. Someone I knew didn't accept an offer. They happened to know the person's buyer's sale would collapse soon. 

The person offering was genuine, but their buyer didn't quite understand the implications of the documents they hadn't got to support building work they'd had done. Neither were malicious.

Thank you for helping. Just something I need to brace myself for I guess ! 

Bigphil1474

I'd always heard that moving house was one of the most stressful things you do in life. Having not really moved house until last year (we bought our first house 30 years ago and moved in from living at parents), I realised why people say that. Even though our move went fairly smoothly, every step has the potential to be a complete mare. I would honestly recommend that unless you absolutely 100% need to move, don't. The next time I move house it will be in a wooden box. If I were in your shoes, I'd do the renovations - at least you can be in control of all that, get what you want, and if it gets a bit much, go on holiday and leave the builders to it. Reno has it's issues, but if your builders any good, far less stressful than moving.

Flugelhorn

Bigphil1474 said:

I'd always heard that moving house was one of the most stressful things you do in life. Having not really moved house until last year (we bought our first house 30 years ago and moved in from living at parents), I realised why people say that. Even though our move went fairly smoothly, every step has the potential to be a complete mare. I would honestly recommend that unless you absolutely 100% need to move, don't. The next time I move house it will be in a wooden box. If I were in your shoes, I'd do the renovations - at least you can be in control of all that, get what you want, and if it gets a bit much, go on holiday and leave the builders to it. Reno has it's issues, but if your builders any good, far less stressful than moving.

I agree - if the house location is good then get the work done where you are - moving costs + stamp duty + estate agents fees will make it seem like a good deal

Albermarle

Mustlovedogs said:

Thank you yes I suppose i need to get over the fact and prepare myself for entering into what is quite a cut throat business. And it is business, not personal. I certainly wouldn't be going in to deliberately mess people around. Thank you 

House buying and selling is a bit of a unique process, and not really like most other business.
Firstly it is usually the biggest financial transaction that you will ever make.
Secondly you have to engage with Estate agents, solicitors, surveyors, mortgage providers and sometimes awkward buyers/sellers. Most people will not be used to dealing with these type of people, and a lot of the technicalities and jargon used.
Thirdly you are usually not just buying or selling a property, but a home, often family related, so can be quite emotional.
Fourthly- The process can be quite long winded, with many potential delays, which can be stressful. Plus the whole process can collapse at any time and you have to start all over again.

So even normally calm people can get stressed, and start to wonder if they are really doing the right thing.

However to be more positive.
Most ( not all) people are quite reasonable, and not the cutthroat type, or the type to deliberately mess people around.
Many house sales/purchases go through, without too many hiccups. 

Mustlovedogs

Albermarle said:

Mustlovedogs said:

Thank you yes I suppose i need to get over the fact and prepare myself for entering into what is quite a cut throat business. And it is business, not personal. I certainly wouldn't be going in to deliberately mess people around. Thank you 

House buying and selling is a bit of a unique process, and not really like most other business.
Firstly it is usually the biggest financial transaction that you will ever make.
Secondly you have to engage with Estate agents, solicitors, surveyors, mortgage providers and sometimes awkward buyers/sellers. Most people will not be used to dealing with these type of people, and a lot of the technicalities and jargon used.
Thirdly you are usually not just buying or selling a property, but a home, often family related, so can be quite emotional.
Fourthly- The process can be quite long winded, with many potential delays, which can be stressful. Plus the whole process can collapse at any time and you have to start all over again.

So even normally calm people can get stressed, and start to wonder if they are really doing the right thing.

However to be more positive.
Most ( not all) people are quite reasonable, and not the cutthroat type, or the type to deliberately mess people around.
Many house sales/purchases go through, without too many hiccups. 

Thank you 😊 ill have a good think about what to do and if I go back up I really am just going to have to get over the fact I may at some point upset someone (again, not deliberately)