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Ashamed of debt
Hi Everyone,
I have been following posts here for a while, gathering information and starting to fill out details on the StepChange website. It’s incredibly difficult to admit, but I’m ashamed of the debt I’ve accumulated, which has gradually spiralled out of control. This month, in an attempt to speed up debt repayment, I’ve even opted out of my NHS pension. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, to the point where dark thoughts have crept in, but I’m fortunate to have an incredibly supportive partner to whom I’ve disclosed everything.
I’m now wondering if a Debt Management Plan (DMP) might be the best option for me. An IVA isn’t a route I wish to pursue. So far, I haven’t missed any payments, and all my debts are up to date, but it’s becoming increasingly unaffordable, and I’m struggling to cover basic living costs each month.
Our mortgage and secured loan are jointly held, and I’ve included my Statement of Affairs (SOA) below, reflecting my share of the mortgage and related expenses. My car is through a fleet solution with work, so it’s not included here and insurance, tax, all repairs etc included (my monthly take-home pay is £3,300 after the car deduction, with an annual salary of £69,000).
My biggest fear is losing our home, which we’ve worked so hard to build together. I would really appreciate any advice or guidance on how best to move forward. My current account isn’t held with anyone I have debts with. Our mortgage is with NatWest and fixed until 2027.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 0
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 3300
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 3300
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 625
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 280
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 110
Electricity............................. 120
Gas..................................... 40
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 25
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 18
TV Licence.............................. 11
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 25
Groceries etc. ......................... 180
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 110
Buildings insurance..................... 26
Contents insurance...................... 10
Life assurance ......................... 54
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 15
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1649
Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 379000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 379000
Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 265000...(625)......0
Secured Debt.................. 44000....(280)......0
Total secured & HP debts...... 309000....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Barclaycard...................1300......40........0
Vanquis........................3000......130.......0
Creation finance ..............4295......117.......0
Next Directory ................800.......35........0
Shop direct ...................2300......108.......0
Admiral Loan...................2608......77........0
Admiral Loan...................2403......135.......0
Hastings Loan..................8841......220.......0
Zopa Bank......................7254......397.......0
NatWest Loan...................22886.....396.......0
NatWest Loan...................14360.....313.......0
Monzo Bank OD..................900.......5.........0
Monzo Bank Flex................3800......203.......0
Marbles........................2835......156.......0
Aqua...........................3748......210.......0
Total unsecured debts..........81330.....2542......
Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,300
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,649
Available for debt repayments........... 1,651
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 2,542
Amount short for making debt repayments. -891
[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 379,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -309,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -81,330
Net Assets.............................. -11,330
Comments
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Well done for getting it all written down and taking the first steps to getting debt free.No advice, others much more knowledgeable than me will be along, I just didn’t want to read & run. You’ve got nothing to be ashamed ofMFW 2021 #76 £5,145
MFW 2022 #27 £5,300
MFW 2023 #27 £2,000
MFW 2024 #27 £6,055
MFW 2025 #27 £1300/£50000 -
Nothing to be ashamed of, so many of us have been there before you!! But please check if you can go back into the NHS scheme asap!! It's such a valuable thing to have behind you. Please please please reconsider this!!!
OK - so it's a lot of debt. And that's going to take a bit of work. I'm not a fan of IVAs so won't try to convince you to go that way. And bankruptcy would mean losing the house so we won't talk about that. There's too much debt for a debt relief order so again a non starter. And that leaves the DMP.
There does seem to be some big holes in you numbers. You say you earn £3300 but not what your OH gets. Shouldn't that be included? Or are they completely responsible for some of the items not listed - like petrol, holidays etc?
And are all of the debts yours exclusively? So nothing joint, other than the mortgage?
Perhaps you could update the numbers to show if it's all yours or 50% or all your OHs?
Will try to check in again tomorrow.
Well done for getting this started!I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Debt Free Wannabe and Old Style Money Saving boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
"Never retract, never explain, never apologise; get things done and let them howl.” Nellie McClung
⭐️🏅😇0 -
I think you should opt back in to your pension.
You are showing £1629 available so I guess that will reduce. Yes, that's a lot of debt but with £1500 a month to pay to it, it can be cleared in 55 months so no need for an IVA.
Just stop the payments out and build an emergency fund ahead of starting a dmp.
Edit. Cancel that. You have not added up the secured debt expenses which I think are 905. See if you can edit the soa. Leaves more like 600 per month and so you are looking at an IVA
If partner also has 80k debt, you may be looking at interlocking IVAs. If not, how much can he chip in?0 -
Definitely opt back into the pension asap.
How were the debts built up. Anything you can sell?
Are they really all 0%?
I'm sure a solution is available.
Don't despair, some one will advise.0 -
Yes please opt back into the pension asap. To opt out is truly a false economy.1
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Thank you all - I will opt back in but reduces my income by nearly £450 per month. The unsecured debts are solely in my name and I’ve hidden them from my partner essentially and tried to borrow and gamble my way out and deeply ashamed. My car is electric hence not including petrol costs as budgeted into electric costs. An IVA simply isn’t an option and not something I’d be keen on doing.I’ve popped a new SOA below with interest rates.
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 0
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 3300
Partners monthly income after tax.......
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 3300
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 625
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 280
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 110
Electricity............................. 120
Gas..................................... 40
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 25
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 18
TV Licence.............................. 11
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 25
Groceries etc. ......................... 180
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 110
Buildings insurance..................... 26
Contents insurance...................... 10
Life assurance ......................... 54
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 15
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1649
Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 379000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 379000
Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 265000...(625)......2.26% (fixed until Jul 27)
Secured Debt.................. 44000....(280)......0
Total secured & HP debts...... 309000....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Barclaycard...................1300......40........28.6%
Vanquis........................3000......130.......29.9%
Creation finance ..............4295......117.......29.9%
Next Directory ................800.......35........24.9%
Shop direct ...................2300......108.......56.9%
Admiral Loan...................2608......77........14.1%
Admiral Loan...................2403......135.......14.1%
Hastings Loan..................8841......220.......12.20%
Zopa Bank......................7254......397.......26.84%
NatWest Loan...................22886.....396.......18.10%
NatWest Loan...................14360.....313.......21.90%
Monzo Bank OD..................900.......5.........0
Monzo Bank Flex................3800......203.......29%
Marbles........................2835......156.......40.26%
Aqua...........................3748......210.......40.26%
Total unsecured debts..........81330.....2542......
Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,300
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,649
Available for debt repayments........... 1,651
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 2,542
Amount short for making debt repayments. -891
[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 379,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -309,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -81,330
Net Assets.............................. -11,330
0 -
OK number one you are going to tell your partner, the joint mortgage and loan will mean they will be affected, so it's either tell them or wait tell they find out, which is best?
You must stop paying the debts and save as much as you can to set up an emergency fund.
When they have defaulted then you can start and make reduced payments.
You are not the first one in this position, you will be able to sort it out.If you go down to the woods today you better not go alone.0 -
I think the op has included the mortgage and secured loan in expenses. Sincere apologies if I’m wrong!fatbelly said:I think you should opt back in to your pension.
You are showing £1629 available so I guess that will reduce. Yes, that's a lot of debt but with £1500 a month to pay to it, it can be cleared in 55 months so no need for an IVA.
Just stop the payments out and build an emergency fund ahead of starting a dmp.
Edit. Cancel that. You have not added up the secured debt expenses which I think are 905. See if you can edit the soa. Leaves more like 600 per month and so you are looking at an IVA
If partner also has 80k debt, you may be looking at interlocking IVAs. If not, how much can he chip in?0 -
Ive discussed with my partner and they are understandably disappointed but supportive of my next routes.I was going to start with step change as I am really worried about losing my home, people turning up or telephoning my workplace. Im particularly worried about the NatWest loans due to the balances on them. SOA aside, with my partner's support i think I can repay around £680 per month. My salary increases next year also, which all adds up.0
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You have to tell your partner, as for if you share any accounts other than the mortgage and Council Tax, you need to de-link urgently.
You also need to protect your future by opting in to your pension scheme. Then open a new basic bank account, transfer in your salary and stop paying any consumer credit not shared with your partner. And open a new savings account for your emergency fund.If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing0
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