Ashamed of debt

Brie

Well done for continuing to engage.  It can be a bit daunting when there's a number of us slinging comments at you, often repeating the same things as we are responding at the same time.  

And glad to hear you're opting back in to your pension.  Don't forget that the cut of your wages happens before tax is deducted so it is less of an impact than you may think.

You mentioned gambling.  Do you have that under control?  Stopped access to online accounts etc?  I'm assuming yes as it's not mentioned anywhere on the SOA, not that there's a spot for any of our particular vices like smoking, drinking, etc.  (we all have them whether we admit it or not!)

I've heard great things about GamCare - in case you need some shoring up.  Like any of these things - it's always good to talk it out.   
GamCare - The leading provider of support for anyone affected by problem gambling in Great Britain  

Keep going!  It'll take time but it will be worth it.

username1062

Thank you Brie.

I registered with GAMSTOP back in October.

I know how much disposable I have to pay between me and my partner. Stepchange have queried everything and feels some things will look unfavourable to creditors I.e. the amount paying on pet insurance (pre-existing condition so there is no way we can forego that).

I’m going to self managing I think going forward following the advice I’ve read on these forums over the past few weeks.

My home is my only worry and potentially losing that.  

Grumpelstiltskin

As long as your mortgage and secured loan are paid you have no need to worry about the unsecured debts.

sourcrates

Your lenders are mostly mainstream banks, and the debts are all unsecured, they usually follow the same process where collection is concerned, should legal action be taken on any of these debts, as long as the agreed payments are made, then no further enforcement action can happen.

It would be very rare for any of them to go that far, and there is a robust legal process where you get your say at every stage, so all this is very unlikely.

In fact orders for sale are now so rare, official figures are no longer kept, I wouldn`t worry on that score.

username1062

Thank you sourcrates and grumpel. That’s reassuring - I’ll follow the process of not paying, defaulting and then follow up myself once DCA letters start.

It’s all so overwhelming and I cannot tell you the thoughts that’s come into my mind worrying.

Grumpelstiltskin

Good just keep going and realize you have to change your mindset, you  will be in control not your creditors.

Block all the numbers you will get calls from, delete texts and E Mails but look at any letters you get through the post.

Remember all these creditors want is you to pay them and they use tactics that are not 100% genuine, don't panic whatever they say and keep coming back on here for advice.

You will get through this.

V3cash

username1062 said:

Thank you sourcrates and grumpel. That’s reassuring - I’ll follow the process of not paying, defaulting and then follow up myself once DCA letters start.

It’s all so overwhelming and I cannot tell you the thoughts that’s come into my mind worrying.

I work in the nhs too, have you been to well being or GP as I’m worried about the thoughts you may be having and please speak to someone about that.
this is something you can solve and others here have done.
it may help to see how others have got out of debt, I’m sure there are loads of threads on it.

Are you part of NMC? Could you access any financial support?
I’m so glad you have opted back into the pension as I’m sure you can tackle the debt and stay in.
i agree with everything everyone is saying and agree with the question, does this debt just lie with you?
is your partner paying their fair share of all the bills.
You have made huge steps already, admitting the problem and reaching out to debt services is huge and sharing with your partner.
i believe that anything is possible with the right help and support.
i will be cheering you on from the sidlines!!!

Brie

Just to reassure you a bit my take home was less than half yours and my/our debts almost as much as yours.  But I was the only real wage earner so it was down to me to sort it.  And I have.  There is hope, you'll find away.  

enthusiasticsaver

I would say looking at your soa that a DMP is your best option but my only concern would be those Nat West two unsecured loans given your mortgage is with Nat West and the likelihood of you being able to remortgage on to a reasonable fixed rate in 2027.  I am not sure how Nat West deals with defaulted unsecured loans if they also hold your mortgage and how it affects the mortgage after your deal expires. Just something to consider. You definitely need to tell your partner as it will affect them. Is all the debt down to gambling or is some of it to do with household expenditure? You have a decent income so that is a positive.  

RAS

enthusiasticsaver said:

I would say looking at your soa that a DMP is your best option but my only concern would be those Nat West two unsecured loans given your mortgage is with Nat West and the likelihood of you being able to remortgage on to a reasonable fixed rate in 2027.  I am not sure how Nat West deals with defaulted unsecured loans if they also hold your mortgage and how it affects the mortgage after your deal expires. Just something to consider. You definitely need to tell your partner as it will affect them. Is all the debt down to gambling or is some of it to do with household expenditure? You have a decent income so that is a positive.  

Shouldn't be a problem, secured and unsecured debt are treated differently. A lot of other posters here who have mortgages with creditors just signed into their mortgage account, selected the best option and renewed, 3-6 months before their old deal ended.  Some twice. The mortgage provider doesn't credit check renewers.

It is an issue if you try to swap provider or use a mortgage adviser who does credit checks. Hence several of us seriously discouraging folk talking to mortgage advisers when they are on DMPs.