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£30K of debt, using credit cards and Overdrafts to survive. Its consuming me, I'm miserable!
I am really struggling 3 years ago I got married, bought a house, and had a child within a year. It was amazing. The house needed a lot of work, the wedding got expensive and our daughter needed the newborn essentials. I got a credit card and another one and another one, made minimum payments and kept spending.
I eventually have got 30k of debt and I am spiralling. Every night I wonder how we are going to pay for things coming up?! when they do happen I don't let myself enjoy them, because I am thinking of the cost and the money I am adding to the never ending debt.
I tried contacting the mortgage company, to consolidate and they didn't approve it.
I am looking for help, the budget shows we have £249 at the end of the month, but we don't because things crop up birthdays, friends, a extended family holiday. I feel like I am wasting my life worrying so much!
I have read about a DMP and IVA, and I don't want to jeopardise our house.
All the debt is in my name as my wife had an IVA before I met her this comes to an end in september. None of the debts are secure.
Please help me forumites, I don't know what to do
Comments
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[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]
Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 2[b]
Monthly Income Details[/b]
Monthly income after tax................ 2400
Partners monthly income after tax....... 2300
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0[b]
Total monthly income.................... 4700[/b][b]
Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Mortgage................................ 980
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 155
Electricity............................. 100
Gas..................................... 108
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 35
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 26
TV Licence.............................. 15
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 2
Internet Services....................... 35
Groceries etc. ......................... 500
Clothing................................ 25
Petrol/diesel........................... 250
Road tax................................ 50
Car Insurance........................... 70
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 25
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 32
Childcare/nursery....................... 300
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 200
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 22
Buildings insurance..................... 40
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 20
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 50
Haircuts................................ 20
Entertainment........................... 100
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0[b]
Total monthly expenses.................. 3160[/b]
[b]
Assets[/b]
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 200000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 4000
Other assets............................ 0[b]
Total Assets............................ 204000[/b]
[b]
Secured & HP Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 145000...(980)......4.8[b]
Total secured & HP debts...... 145000....-.........- [/b]
[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Halifax Overdraft..............2500......40........39.9
Halifax credit card............1000......35........35
Lloyds credit card ............7000......210.......0
Octopus energy.................1100......0.........0
Partners CC....................300.......0.........0
Partners IVA...................0.........182.......0
Admiral Loan...................4500......234.......0
paypal.........................1000......150.......0
My Community loan..............12000.....455.......16[b]
Total unsecured debts..........29400.....1306......- [/b]
[b]
Monthly Budget Summary[/b]
Total monthly income.................... 4,700
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 3,160
Available for debt repayments........... 1,540
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 1,306[b]
Amount left after debt repayments....... 234[/b]
[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]
Total assets (things you own)........... 204,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -145,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -29,400[b]
Net Assets.............................. 29,600[/b]
[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]
0 -
According to that, you can make the contractual payments to the debts, and your partner's IVA, and have something left over. (Which you would use to overpay the highest apr debt)
If that isn't the case, then something is out in your figures. So you need to work on it for a few months.
Well done to your mortgage lender for refusing to consolidate your debt.2 -
Ive just seen the mistake my partners CC pays 300 a month using that leftover 234.fatbelly said:According to that, you can make the contractual payments to the debts, and your partner's IVA, and have something left over. (Which you would use to overpay the highest apr debt)
If that isn't the case, then something is out in your figures. So you need to work on it for a few months.
Well done to your mortgage lender for refusing to consolidate your debt.
0 -
Monthly income after tax................ 2400
Partners monthly income after tax....... 2300
Benefits................................ 0
Is no child benefit correct as neither of you looks to be over the limit for getting it?
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 200
That look like a lot, is there a specific reason?
Groceries isnt generous, clothes looks tight, and you need an emergency fund. But that budget suggests you have some money to spare now if you can keep the fun stuff within your £100 a month entertainment budget and then when the IVA ends you have more money and can start clearing your debts faster.2 -
The most important line on that SOA is this one:Lostinmunich said:[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]
Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 2[b]
Monthly Income Details[/b]
Monthly income after tax................ 2400
Partners monthly income after tax....... 2300
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0[b]
Total monthly income.................... 4700[/b][b]
Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Mortgage................................ 980
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 155
Electricity............................. 100
Gas..................................... 108
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 35
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 26
TV Licence.............................. 15
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 2
Internet Services....................... 35
Groceries etc. ......................... 500
Clothing................................ 25
Petrol/diesel........................... 250
Road tax................................ 50
Car Insurance........................... 70
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 25
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 32
Childcare/nursery....................... 300
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 200
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 22
Buildings insurance..................... 40
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 20
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 50
Haircuts................................ 20
Entertainment........................... 100
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0[b]
Total monthly expenses.................. 3160[/b]
[b]
Assets[/b]
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 200000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 4000
Other assets............................ 0[b]
Total Assets............................ 204000[/b]
[b]
Secured & HP Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 145000...(980)......4.8[b]
Total secured & HP debts...... 145000....-.........- [/b]
[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Halifax Overdraft..............2500......40........39.9
Halifax credit card............1000......35........35
Lloyds credit card ............7000......210.......0
Octopus energy.................1100......0.........0
Partners CC....................300.......0.........0
Partners IVA...................0.........182.......0
Admiral Loan...................4500......234.......0
paypal.........................1000......150.......0
My Community loan..............12000.....455.......16[b]
Total unsecured debts..........29400.....1306......- [/b]
[b]
Monthly Budget Summary[/b]
Total monthly income.................... 4,700
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 3,160
Available for debt repayments........... 1,540
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 1,306[b]
Amount left after debt repayments....... 234[/b]
[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]
Total assets (things you own)........... 204,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -145,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -29,400[b]
Net Assets.............................. 29,600[/b]
[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]
Amount left after debt repayments....... 234
Where is that £234 - which amounts to £2800 a year - ending up? If you don't know, then that's your first priority to sort out, and a starting point for that is almost certainly that aspects of the SOA aren't correct.
Has the SOA been put together by referring back to a year's worth of bank and card statements? And where you show ongoing budgeting for things (like presents, insurances and car maintenance, for example) are you really budgeting for those things? If not, then that is a chunk of your problem. Car maintenance is an obvious one to pick out here - if you are seriously running two low-value cars with all servicing, MoT tests, tyres etc that is needed on £300 a year then I would be super-impressed...!
To know how best to react to dealing with the debt, you first need to get the basics right, so as a starting point I would suggest that you sit down together and go back through the SOA line by line and check every detail. Then also begin ( again, both of you) keeping a spending diary. This will help you to track odd spends that aren't being accounted for currently.
You've taken the hardest step - acknowledging that there is a problem and wanting to fix it - so now it comes down to small steps and hard work. It's doable though, one way or another - if the SOA IS wrong, then that just changes the approach. If the SOA is right then it's a snowballing approach.🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00
£100k barrier broken 1/4/25SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculatorshe/her1 -
I think the groceries could be cut back, 2 adults and a toddler at nursery should be able to get this down.
You just need to cut back on spending, use supermarket own brands, shop when prices are reduced etc.
If you go down to the woods today you better not go alone.2 -
My wife deals with the child benefit, I am not sure how much she gets from it?. The medical prescription is for my wifes weight loss jabs. I unfortunately put 300 payment in the wrong box on my wife's CC. so the 234 left is actually -£66ManyWays said:Monthly income after tax................ 2400
Partners monthly income after tax....... 2300
Benefits................................ 0
Is no child benefit correct as neither of you looks to be over the limit for getting it?
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 200
That look like a lot, is there a specific reason?
Groceries isnt generous, clothes looks tight, and you need an emergency fund. But that budget suggests you have some money to spare now if you can keep the fun stuff within your £100 a month entertainment budget and then when the IVA ends you have more money and can start clearing your debts faster.0 -
The totals in the SOA - is that what you spend combined? You should include all the benefits, and all the expenses joint, if you wish to tackle the debt together.
You'll be ok - don't worry. People have been in worse situations and come through fine - and there are plenty of knowledgeable people on this forum.0 -
Thank you so much,EssexHebridean said:
The most important line on that SOA is this one:Lostinmunich said:[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]
Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 2[b]
Monthly Income Details[/b]
Monthly income after tax................ 2400
Partners monthly income after tax....... 2300
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0[b]
Total monthly income.................... 4700[/b][b]
Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Mortgage................................ 980
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 155
Electricity............................. 100
Gas..................................... 108
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 35
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 26
TV Licence.............................. 15
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 2
Internet Services....................... 35
Groceries etc. ......................... 500
Clothing................................ 25
Petrol/diesel........................... 250
Road tax................................ 50
Car Insurance........................... 70
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 25
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 32
Childcare/nursery....................... 300
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 200
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 22
Buildings insurance..................... 40
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 20
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 50
Haircuts................................ 20
Entertainment........................... 100
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0[b]
Total monthly expenses.................. 3160[/b]
[b]
Assets[/b]
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 200000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 4000
Other assets............................ 0[b]
Total Assets............................ 204000[/b]
[b]
Secured & HP Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 145000...(980)......4.8[b]
Total secured & HP debts...... 145000....-.........- [/b]
[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Halifax Overdraft..............2500......40........39.9
Halifax credit card............1000......35........35
Lloyds credit card ............7000......210.......0
Octopus energy.................1100......0.........0
Partners CC....................300.......0.........0
Partners IVA...................0.........182.......0
Admiral Loan...................4500......234.......0
paypal.........................1000......150.......0
My Community loan..............12000.....455.......16[b]
Total unsecured debts..........29400.....1306......- [/b]
[b]
Monthly Budget Summary[/b]
Total monthly income.................... 4,700
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 3,160
Available for debt repayments........... 1,540
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 1,306[b]
Amount left after debt repayments....... 234[/b]
[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]
Total assets (things you own)........... 204,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -145,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -29,400[b]
Net Assets.............................. 29,600[/b]
[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]
Amount left after debt repayments....... 234
Where is that £234 - which amounts to £2800 a year - ending up? If you don't know, then that's your first priority to sort out, and a starting point for that is almost certainly that aspects of the SOA aren't correct.
Has the SOA been put together by referring back to a year's worth of bank and card statements? And where you show ongoing budgeting for things (like presents, insurances and car maintenance, for example) are you really budgeting for those things? If not, then that is a chunk of your problem. Car maintenance is an obvious one to pick out here - if you are seriously running two low-value cars with all servicing, MoT tests, tyres etc that is needed on £300 a year then I would be super-impressed...!
To know how best to react to dealing with the debt, you first need to get the basics right, so as a starting point I would suggest that you sit down together and go back through the SOA line by line and check every detail. Then also begin ( again, both of you) keeping a spending diary. This will help you to track odd spends that aren't being accounted for currently.
You've taken the hardest step - acknowledging that there is a problem and wanting to fix it - so now it comes down to small steps and hard work. It's doable though, one way or another - if the SOA IS wrong, then that just changes the approach. If the SOA is right then it's a snowballing approach.
I have filled this out alone and if I am honest I don't know where the £234 goes. I struggle to sit and talk to about finances to my partner. She gets very defensive, and it normally ends in a row. I want to make this better but my wife doesn't think we have a problem and if we just keep paying everything it'll be fine but I see it increasing. I also struggle with being in an overdraft every month seeing £-2000 at the start of the month its really hard to get around what's left, I feel like reduce it by £50 for 3 weeks and then have to increase it £150 when something happens0 -
Until you and your wife are on the same page about this I don't think you will get very far. Sorry to sound negative. Can she ditch the weight loss jabs?
You've come to the right place for help and well done on taking the first step.1
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