£30K of debt, using credit cards and Overdrafts to survive. Its consuming me, I'm miserable!

Grumpelstiltskin

How much weight has she lost since paying out for the jabs? How much more has she got to lose.

You need to know how much child benefit she gets and where it is going.

Until you are both working together it will get worse if you let it.

Lostinmunich

Cressida100 said:

Until you and your wife are on the same page about this I don't think you will get very far. Sorry to sound negative. Can she ditch the weight loss jabs? 

You've come to the right place for help and well done on taking the first step. 

I agree, it's partly why I have come here to talk about it. I agree the thought crossed my mind. However I wouldn't like to ask her. She only recently started and it has made her so happy and the progress she's made. I think it would cause an argument 

ManyWays

My wife deals with the child benefit, I am not sure how much she gets from it?
It may be used for kids things, nappies, clothes etc, which is all good but it needs to be taken account of in your family budget. It's not slush money for your wife to spend as she wants

I unfortunately put 300 payment in the wrong box on my wife's CC. so the 234 left is actually -£66 
your wife is in an IVA and has a balance of over 300? If it's over 500 that is likely to be a breach of her IVA unless it has been approved? 

Lostinmunich

ManyWays said:

My wife deals with the child benefit, I am not sure how much she gets from it?
It may be used for kids things, nappies, clothes etc, which is all good but it needs to be taken account of in your family budget. It's not slush money for your wife to spend as she wants

I unfortunately put 300 payment in the wrong box on my wife's CC. so the 234 left is actually -£66 
your wife is in an IVA and has a balance of over 300? If it's over 500 that is likely to be a breach of her IVA unless it has been approved? 

I didn't know this as I don't know much about IVA, what are the repercussions if she's breached the iva?

And I am going to try talk to her this evening about it, I want a plan to try make things better. But I also want a life, I feel like the budget is so tight right now, that anything extra has to be taken out as credit 

fatbelly

Is £300 per month the minimum payment on that card? That would infer she has racked up around 9k of debt outside the IVA.

I know this is annoying but we do need to get the numbers sorted.

Grumpelstiltskin

I suspect this needed conversation should have taken place a long time ago, so your wife had an IVA when you married?

You do realize that she shouldn't have taken out more credit whilst on an IVA?

Normally difficult to obtain credit whilst in an IVA, I wonder if the IVA was in her maiden name and the credit in her married name?

Unless you want this to get worse you need to sort this out, I suspect your wife isn't open with you about what she spends, not a good situation to be in. It is up to you to try and get this sorted before it gets worse.

RAS

You need some advice on your wife's IVA. I don't know if the fact that she is not named on the house deeds prevents the IP from expecting her to release equity? If you refuse ( as most spouses do), she'll have another year on the IVA. And if she's taken out more debt since being on the IVA it could be cancelled.

Hopefully @fatbelly or @sourcrates can advise? 

fatbelly

If she's not on the deeds then I doubt there would be a problem.

It's not unknown for people to continue to accrue debt outside an IVA. It's not ideal but at this point she probably just needs it to complete, which it should do at the 5 year point

enthusiasticsaver

If your wife is on an IVA then she should not have taken on another credit card.   If the monthly payment is £300 what is the balance and is it charging interest?  Is all the rest in your name? Are you on a fixed mortage rate and when does the deal finish? 

I think you need a serious conversation with your wife even if it causes a row.  You probably don't have spare money because there are things you say you spend on which are not in your budget like the holiday. £500 groceries seem a lot for two adults and a toddler. The overdraft and credit card are charging extortionate interest so you will find it difficult to get that down unless you can move it to 0%.  Consolidation is an awful idea. You have no emergency savings which is why the debt is increasing when things happen as they inevitably do.  The car maintenance is woefully low for 2 fairly low value cars. 

You have two choices really.  Either you both knuckle down and budget hard and get rid of non essentials to get the debt lower until you can get the overdraft and Halifax moved to 0% and overpay as much as possible until the IVA is gone and you have an additional £180 to go towards the debt. 

Second option is a DMP in your name. Contact stepchange to help and in the meantime default on the debts and save up for emergencies.  This means a life going forward with no credit cards/loans/overdrafts. On the plus  side interest is frozen and I suspect a lot of those debts are charging interest even though you have 0 against most of them. You need to check on that community loan though and whether that can be included and that is a big part of your problem.  Was that a debt consolidation loan? The £300 credit card payment for your wife is also a problem given she has already done one IVA.  If she is not named on the property and she has no other assets I do not know if she can do another IVA for the credit card.

If you take the DMP route it then means that you can budget for things like a holiday (not an expensive one obviously) and more for emergency savings and car maintenance and the monthly debt repayment should be set at an affordable limit. Personally I feel £200 for weight loss injections is a lot when you have a high level of debt, no savings and have no spare money but that is a judgement call.  Are they even effective? 

Well done on tackling it now though and resolve never to consolidate debt again (assuming you have done it previously).  It makes the problem ten times worse as it means you just kick the can down the road and instead of tackling overspending when debt is £10k you are soon looking at £30-£40k debt which takes a lot longer to clear and requires more drastic action. 

Lostinmunich

Thank you so much, and everyone else’s comments.

The mortgage and deeds are solely in my name, but we are married.

the partners  cc is 3000 limit and she pays 300 and then I think spends it again.

The jabs she’s lost 1 stone in a couple months, whether it’s placebo or real I don’t know, I don’t think it’s great given are financial situation.

i Want to knuckle down and clear it, but I know between now and September, I have two mots. I have my partners birthday my daughters. My mums too. A camping trip and then in September we’re meant to be having a family bnb trip. So I think any overpay will be spent again on cards.

The DMP option might be a route to take, as I couldn’t possibly add anymore on. And I feel like I could budget and keep an emergency fund in my own account and build it. For these things planned. 

And I could build this up whilst defaulting too. 

As you said and many others default first and then DMP. How does that work when they all take different times to default? Will the first debtor wait  if I don’t pay, waiting for the last one to default? 

How will it affect my house, I don’t want to jeopardise it? 

Community loan was a debt consolidation loan but still unsecured and it was meant to help lower monthly outgoings…  it didn’t.

Thank you soo so much for helping