Teetering on the brink

Newstartforme

My goodness , your big dog story did make me laugh , I think it's definitely been the delivery driver running that has set him off . Great news getting your window sorted and you're right having the long weekend without thinking about debt busting . Take care

EatingBeans

Well, yesterday was my first day back at work and I had to go into the office in the morning. I was feeling so positive and had a good day even if I did feel swamped with work and apprenticeship stuff to do. The evening was nice too as both dd’s and I somehow ended up playing a game of taking turns to name an object then we all shut our eyes and tried to draw it. We didn’t actually set out to play a game(I literally cannot remember the last time we all played anything toegether), it just kind of evolved into that from a conversation about dd2 not being able to picture something in her head. It was great fun though and only stopped when dd2 finished cooking our ‘Sunday’ roast. 😋

Sadly, just that one day back at work has set me back again. 😞 I was going to struggle on and attend the meetings and rest on my bed in between, but the TN is really bad too so I ended up calling in sick again. As generous as my employer is, I have to be reaching the limits of acceptable sick time by now and I am beginning to get just a little concerned about losing my job. I’m really not well enough to work though. I've asked my manager to find out if I might be able to arrange a phased return rather than keep going in one or two days than crashing so 🤞I find a way to get back properly sometime soon. 

I’ve decided my sole task today is to take a look at my budget and try and get that straight. Currently in bed and too tired to even fetch the laptop but if I get any energy at all, that is what I am doing. I am so glad I still have microwaveable meals in. Although the way I am feeling I may well ask dd2 to make it for me. 😢 Long covid sucks. 

Sun_Addict

It sounds like you weren’t physically ready to go back to work. The phased return sounds like a good idea, hope it’s acceptable to them🤞

EatingBeans

Didn’t get as far as the budget sadly. I’ve been so bad today that dd2 even brought my meals to me in bed bless her. The only thing I got out of bed for was to go to the doctors. I thought I would come away with something to support my request for a phased return but instead I got signed off for 4 weeks and told ‘we’ll see what happens at the end of that’. 😕 Lord knows what work is going to think but I’ve reached the point where I know just pushing through is not possible no matter how much I wish it was, so I guess I will just have to see. Fingers crossed they will continue to pay me but if not then clearing the debts may well have to be done by DMP as I may not get another option. 

I know my DFW diary isn’t quite going the way I had hoped atm but I’m still hopeful work will continue to pay me until my health improves and I can still get back on track so I can pay off the debt and move house. However, even if it doesn’t and I do end up jobless, the diary will have still been worth it as I am at least feeling less stressed at the prospect of defaulting on the unsecured debts if it comes to that. It just might mean you all get to hear about the tales of Big dog and Little dog for quite a bit longer than planned! 🤣

Sun_Addict

Life is never plain sailing unfortunately and that goes for many of us here on these forums. Your health is the most important thing at the moment. I’m glad you’ve been signed off as I think you need time to get yourself better. After that a phased return would be the best option. I hope you still get paid 🤞Employers should understand if an employee has an ongoing health issue it’s not their fault and they should support them until they’re ready to return. 

HampshireH

Have your employer referred you to occupational health? Apologies if you've referred to this before I've been reading your diary for a while now but with so many pages I don't recall if this has happened or not 

I would ask for this either whilst you are off or as part of your return. If you have it whilst you are off then any recommendations can be put in for your return in theory.

I totally understand your concerns about your employer and I can see it from both sides. 

Newstartforme

Sending every best wish that the four weeks off is enough for you to feel a little better , and I really think the phased return will be a massive help for you . Let the debts tick over for now,  your health is more important 

ellenvan

Just checking in to see if you have posted.
Hopefully you are enjoying a rest and the sunshine?

EatingBeans

Hi all,

Sad to say that I am still feeling dreadfully ill and everything just hurts, but I have been able to get out in the garden and see some sunshine. In all honesty I had given up even looking at my bank accounts and had resorted to just buying in whatever I needed to stay fed with minimum effort. Lots of microwaveable meals and takeaways have been purchased on my Credit Cards (leaving cash in my current account for direct debits etc) and I haven't even felt up to doing surveys. I have even sold a few of my previously listed things on ebay and Vinted and have just cancelled the sales as I couldn't even take them to the Post Office. It has been bad.  

But! Today I woke up with an alert that my current account for my bills is going into my overdraft so ill or not I have to start to unpick my last month of craziness and work out how much damage I have done. 

So I dug out my laptop from my daughter's room only to discover she has broken the casing on it. This was not a great start and I will be sending her the bill! But, I decided to not let that derail me completely so I moved on to reconciling to the end of April. Yes, yes, I know it is the 20th May but better late than never, right?

End of	Dec-24	Jan-25	Feb-25	Mar-25	Apr-25
Brother	£  5,400.00	£  5,400.00	£  5,350.00	£  5,300.00	£  5,250.00
Overdraft owed	£  1,349.90	£  1,107.76	£            -	£            -	£            -
MBNA CC	£ 10,534.20	£ 10,002.26	£ 11,455.85	£ 11,292.77	£ 11,580.14
Barclaycard CC	£  9,667.21	£  9,569.95	£  7,981.04	£  7,725.50	£  7,628.43
Fluid CC	£            -	£     772.50	£     762.50	£     752.50	£     742.50
NatWest CC	£ 12,018.14	£ 11,674.22	£ 11,634.21	£ 11,752.41	£ 11,785.09
Total debt	£ 38,969.45	£ 38,526.69	£ 37,183.60	£ 36,823.18	£ 36,986.16
Paid off in the month		£     442.76	£  1,343.09	£     360.42	-£     162.98
Total paid off 2025		£     442.76	£  1,785.85	£  2,146.27	£  1,983.29

Very disappointing to see that I started to undo some of the progress I had made (and it makes be dread to think what May will look like!), but seeing it written down has reminded me that I cannot lose sight of what I am doing, even for a few weeks. 

I suspect it will take me a lot longer to reconcile May to date but hey, at least I have time before the end of the month to try get my mindset back on track and ready to start afresh come the beginning of June.

EatingBeans

Well, I have reconciled May to date and it’s not great but not as bad as I thought it would be given that I also had to pay for the new window this month. I have decided to start again properly from the 1st June but I have at least posted three things that I sold on ebay/Vinted to get me back in the groove. Surveys are back on too and I am making an extra effort to eat from my freezer instead of buying more microwaveable meals. 👍

The reason I am not fully going back to being 100% strict with myself is dd2 and I worked out when we might next both be available at the same time for a couple of days break away and we realise it is next week or late summer. dd1 has decided she doesn’t want to buy my car after all and the MOT is due in a months time so I decided we would try and pack me, dd2, all the camping gear and two big labradors into my tiny 107 and attempt one more camping trip before a final decision is made about the fate of my car. Pack light is going to be the no.1 aim for this trip! We barely made it with just big dog last time so how on earth we are going to do it with two is beyond me! Food is optional right?! 🤣🤦‍♀️ Anyway, I am sure we will have a lovely time and make some memories even if mum only has enough energy to sit in a chair providing directions! 😬 It is important to me to take the opportunity while I still have it especially given that dd2 is about to turn 17 and before I know it she will be thinking of uni more than camping with mum. Camping is fairly cheap and the debt will still be there to deal with when I get back.