Teetering on the brink

Newstartforme

Hope you enjoyed you break with DD and you managed to relax a little x

EatingBeans

Hi all, 
 
I am officially back at this debt busting thing! 

May was BAD for so many reasons, but I cannot change the past so I am looking forward. The break away camping with dd2 and the puppies did me the world of good. It turned out to be rather more expensive than I thought it would be but I actually started to feel well again so I consider it worth the expense. Just a couple of weeks ago I was thinking in terms of what will I do when I run out of sick leave and lose my job because I really could not envision feeling better again, but now, whilst I am still not 100% by any stretch, I do feel like I should be able to manage working again very soon!

June is back to no takeaways and cooking from the freezer. Budget reinstated and ebay/vinted and surveys are back on. The Trigeminal Neuralgia pain in my face is thankfully easing off a bit too so when I am looking for something to do I will go out in the garden where I have lots to do that will keep me busy without spending more money. 

I am posting my end of month debt figures from May below as I feel it is only a complete picture of my journey if I show the bad months as well as the good, but I am not dwelling on it too much. As I said in my previous post I started putting regular spending for food etc on my credit cards as I wasn't well enough to keep a close eye on everything and I wanted to ensure plenty of cash was left in my current account for my direct debits. Normal service has resumed now and I am determined not to spend on my credit cards going forwards so I should go back to paying the debt off.

End of	Dec-24	Jan-25	Feb-25	Mar-25	Apr-25	May-25
Brother	£  5,400.00	£  5,400.00	£  5,350.00	£  5,300.00	£  5,250.00	£  5,200.00
Overdraft owed	£  1,349.90	£  1,107.76	£            -	£            -	£            -	£            -
MBNA CC	£ 10,534.20	£ 10,002.26	£ 11,455.85	£ 11,292.77	£ 11,580.14	£ 12,056.18
Barclaycard CC	£  9,667.21	£  9,569.95	£  7,981.04	£  7,725.50	£  7,628.43	£  8,138.15
Fluid CC	£            -	£     772.50	£     762.50	£     752.50	£     742.50	£     732.50
NatWest CC	£ 12,018.14	£ 11,674.22	£ 11,634.21	£ 11,752.41	£ 11,785.09	£ 11,774.23
Total debt	£ 38,969.45	£ 38,526.69	£ 37,183.60	£ 36,823.18	£ 36,986.16	£ 37,901.06
Paid off in the month		£     442.76	£  1,343.09	£     360.42	-£     162.98	-£     914.90
Total paid off 2025		£     442.76	£  1,785.85	£  2,146.27	£  1,983.29	£  1,068.39

twiggy86

Pleased your feeling better slowly. Getting out of debt doesn't always go in straight line but well done for staying accountable to yourself! So easy when the "bad months" hit to tell yourself you've completely failed and stop trying - well, that's been my way in the past anyway!  

Cherryfudge

So good to hear you're feeling better! It must be tough, but you have a really constructive attitude when you say you can't change the past but you're looking forward. You've made lots of changes and that puts you in a much stronger place than you were a few months ago, despite all you've had to go through.

The camping must have been a lovely change of scene, especially when you've been indoors a lot. Are you planning any more?

EatingBeans

Aw, thank you both. I wondered if anyone would still read my diary after I have been awol for so long, so thank you for sticking with me! 

Camping is sadly probably over until at least late summer and even then it will depend on if I still have a car. What I REALLY want to do is buy a cheap campervan and tour as much of the country as I can with dd2 before she grows up and goes off to uni in two years but I currently can’t see that happening. 😢 dd1 has her driving test booked for July now and she has returned to the idea of buying my car off me. Realistically I should just sell it to her and go carless for a while but we will see. 

I’ll be honest, the limited time left with my girls at home is the biggest reason I think I struggle with cutting back to pay off the debt. If I could freeze time and I just had to wait two years but knew we would still be able to do it in a couple of years then I am sure I would find it easier but they are only young once and frankly I am amazed that at almost 17yo, dd2 still wants to even go camping with mum. Finding the balance of cutting back to pay off debt but not so much that I later regret not taking the opportunity to spend time making memories with her is a real challenge.

EatingBeans

New day. Budget spreadsheet and Fudget all reconciled and survey completed before even getting up. I got this! 👍

vampirotoothus

Hi EatingBeans I agree with what you are saying, this opportunity to spend time with your girls is precious. How about making a plan to meet just above the minimum payments for your debt, making sure it does not go up and making plans with them now. Basically just enjoying life with them. You can focus on dealing with the debt when they leave home. Good luck, whatever you decide V x

EatingBeans

A good day back at it today. 

I have completed a couple of surveys, popped to the post office to post an item I sold on eBay and resisted both dd’s request for a takeaway. 💪

I set myself a £100 for my £5’s target this month and today I drew down the funds sitting in my eBay account (£6.75) and Vinted account (£8), to start me off. So, currently at £14.75/£100 aka 2/20 £5’s. 🙂 

Cherryfudge

You're on fire! I love the action and enthusiasm!

I totally get wanting to spend quality time with your daughters before they leave home. My children are all 'grown and flown' now but all of them came back at some point, two of them bringing their partners to live with us for a while! I also used to go and visit my daughter when she was at Uni: we did an all-day Mum and daughter Christmas shopping trip that's become an annual event even though she's now married. So if you have a strong relationship with them, start traditions where you can touch base. My DiL rings her mum daily, which is another way of keeping strong ties.

P.S. The Christmas shopping trip is more about window shopping than buying a lot - but it's fun.

EatingBeans

Aww your traditions sound lovely @Cherryfudge so nice that they have continued into adulthood! 

As much as I know she loves me, dd1 will almost certainly disappear at least for a few years once she finally leaves for uni. She is very like me (ridiculously independent), and she is itching to leave and spread her wings. I left home at 17 and she is 18.5 already so I am not at all surprised she wants to go. Tbf we get on remarkably well considering (I set very basic ground rules and let her do her own thing as much as possible), but I know it’s never the same as the freedom on not living at home. I struggled with my mum from the age of 14 just because I wanted to move out so bad and not because she was a bad person or anything, she is a really good mum, we just got on a lot better as soon as I’d actually left, I was just ready. 

dd2 is totally different. For a long time she didn’t even want to move out for uni but she’s slowly come around to that idea. She currently has every intention of coming back to live with me after and talks a lot about us both buying a smallholding together once she has a proper job. It’s very sweet but it means if she leaves for uni and goes awol I will be a lot less emotionally prepared! I try not to think about it too much and try to just enjoy the fact that she still jumps on my bed every morning for a chat, snuggles up to watch tv with me every evening and we still have a bedtime routine where I have to kiss her cat goodnight and give her a big hug before they both go up the stairs to bed. No doubt when dd2 leaves it will just be me kissing the cat as the routine is very set now. So much so that if we are late to bed the cat sits on the stairs meowing until she gets her kiss! 🤣