Teetering on the brink

Cherryfudge

I'm so sorry you've been through all that, and then had to relive it. You absolutely deserved the pizza, and I've have understood if you'd had the wine too, though perhaps it's as well you didn't.

I hope you can sleep again tonight. The pillow seems well worth the cost.

EatingBeans

I am sorry to hear that @satchmo1  it sounds awful. (((Hugs)))

My ex changed personality completely too, although his was after news that our unborn child was going to have Cystic fibrosis and he became an alcoholic (The doctors were wrong, all are children are fine, but it left a devastating impact nonetheless). It was difficult for me to believe that the man who once adored his family would ever do anything to harm them, even as he was punching holes in walls. Looking back, I should have left then, although to be fair to myself, I was suffering from post natal depression so not really in a fit state to do so. 😕 

I am glad to hear that you were able to get out of the situation and protect your ds. x

EatingBeans

Cherryfudge said:

I'm so sorry you've been through all that, and then had to relive it. You absolutely deserved the pizza, and I've have understood if you'd had the wine too, though perhaps it's as well you didn't.

I hope you can sleep again tonight. The pillow seems well worth the cost.

Thanks @Cherryfudge        I am please to report I got a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep last night! 🎉 That pillow is definitely staying. 😁

I normally avoid any TV that is likely to relive it all but dd2 had asked me if I’d seen it as she obviously wanted to talk about it so I decided to watch so I could understand. I don’t regret watching it as it gave the dd’s a safe way to talk through some things that they have never said before, but crikey, it was a tough watch. 

Andyjflet

I read with heart in mouth, your story regarding your son. Until I was 50 I didn't realise how much my own life has been affected by my father. He left us when I was 8 and until a few years ago I didn't know the full truth. My mum brought us up but had suffered domestic abuse both physically and verbally, even when he had left us my dad came back and took the cutlery, my mum didn't have a winter coat while my dad had new suits for work. 

I remember the punching and temper tantrums, Ive seen it later in life too, but now I choose to keep my distance, I'm not rude and I actually haven't told my dad why. his texts and messages make me cringe, but I can choose to stay away and I do now. I've only seen him twice since Covid struck, my choice is to concentrate on my life now. 

EatingBeans

@Andyjflet
I am glad you seem to have managed to move past it in your own way. (((Hugs))) to you too. 

EatingBeans

For reasons that I shall not discuss, I decided today to take a look at the purchasing decisions I regularly make and consider the where in the world the owners of the companies I buy from, are based. e.g. Tesla is American owned (I own a Peugeot).

In a moment of simple curiosity, I decided to look at just how many things I would have to switch out if I wanted to only by British and what that might look like. Once I realised there was no viable option for replacing my iphone😱(I have no plans to buy a new phone, don’t worry), I went off down a rabbit hole of discovery about how even brands I thought of as British, were no longer so! As an experiment, I decided to try and replace everything in my regular shopping basket from Morrisons👍 and Amazon😬. Out went Colgate, Kellogg's cornflakes and chocolate from any brand I know I like! In came Corsodyl toothpaste, Dorset cereals/Scottish oats and montezum’s 🤔 chocolate (if I drive 10miles to buy a bar to try!). I won’t relay all my hours spent on this intriguing endeavour, but I will say that it was quite an eye opener!

And yes, before anyone says anything, I do know there are factories in this country that support british jobs even if the final brand is owned elsewhere, I totally get that - I just wanted to contain my scope of internet mining to a more limited question rather than start looking at factory addresses otherwise I might have been at it all weekend! 🤣

Cherryfudge

That sounds a fascinating exercise. I know there is another forumite who's giving up buying from a certain big river company... 

Nonnadiluca

I also don't give the aforementioned company any of my hard earned; companies who don't pay their fair share of tax are depriving our vital services of funds. (I don't think that goes against the 'no politics' forum rule as it's a fact, not a political opinion)

EatingBeans

Yeah, I am completely ignoring the politics and reasons why someone might choose to switch (that is totally up to individuals themselves), I was just curious to see if I could accurately imagine what my life would be like if I switched out products made elsewhere and just bought British. In general, I have concluded that the best way to identify British brands is to think, “where did I shop 20yrs ago?”🤔 and then see if that company was still in existence and still British owned. Regular Amazon deliveries would be replaced by Argos, Curry’s, Halfords, B&Q etc, and my modern tech like my iphone, Amazon Echo’s and Netflix etc., would all have to go. I guess I had never really stopped to really thought about it before but dropping into Halfords to pick up some better L plates the other day, I was struck by how the shop was visibly a shell of it’s former self. Most of the shelves had visible space between the stock, there was clearly limited staff, and it got me thinking about how long it had been since I had set foot in one of their stores - approximately 20years was my estimate! 😬

Anyway, I am not sure any of that deep dive is necessarily going to save me money right now, so time to get the kettle on, grab some brekkie and crack on with sorting out my budget ahead of the new month! 😁

EatingBeans

Quick update on my reconciliation of all my accounts today. I will do the final end of month tidy up at the very end of the month, but remarkably, it doesn’t seem as bad as I feared.

The debt is still set to be decreasing, which is frankly amazing given my slipping on the takeaways, no doubt it is thanks to the extra cash I have been able to bring in during March.

The combination of surveys, Topcashback cash, ebay/Vinted sales and bank switching cash, brings me to a total extra cash in of £389.57/£200 aka 77/40 £5’s! I am well chuffed with that! It is almost double my goal of £200! 😁