Teetering on the brink

dawnybabes

I remember getting a job years ago, once I’d started I’d queried applicants and how many had interviewed. The recruiter had had 2 sacks of applicants and he’d just picked out 4 from each bag and interviewed them, didn’t even open the rest of the applications 😭😭😭😭

EatingBeans

OMG, that is crazy! Must have been a huge relief to be the one to get the job then? I am really hoping I am not competing in quite that big of a pool. 🤞

EatingBeans

I had an interview at the job centre this morning and met my new work coach. I am so glad that she is nice! Once she established that I am still expecting more money in the next two claim periods she didn’t even bother going through work commitments. She said she will book another appointment when I get more than a nil claim. Still, it was a useful meeting as I got to explain about the voluntary leavers payment and she explained how best to declare it to give me the best chance of them not just closing the claim but also not look like I am trying to hide anything. Apparently I have to declare it as savings but then put a new declaration in straight afterwards to show that I no longer have it. That will then trigger an appointment where I will have to bring statements in to show where it has gone. Absolutely not a problem for me because I am trying to play within the rules not break them. I just need them to tell me how high to jump and I will jump, if that’s what it takes to get out of this mess! 🤦‍♀️

19 days to go until I get paid. 😬

EatingBeans

Well I have listed four things. 🤦‍♀️ I mean it is four more that people could now actually buy but I really could do with adding a zero or two on the end of that about now! 😬 I don’t know why I am finding it so difficult. It doesn’t even take much effort to do but every time I look at the pile I feel overwhelmed and exhausted. dd2 is putting me to shame. She seems to be listing and selling stuff in her sleep bless her.

Today is normally shopping day. Today that has consisted of buying bread, cereal and milk. Other than that I will be raiding the cupboards and coming up with something, anything to eat. I really should go back to Olio but I can’t currently face that either. The stress is obviously getting to me know because I just seem unable to do anything. Even dd2 very gently asked if I should be going back to the doctors and asking to go back on the antidepressants. 😞 I had already come to the same conclusion and it is a job for Monday. The strangest thing is I don’t feel particularly sad, just paralysed from living. I used to take antidepressants when I was on the old TN tablets because it was very obvious that it was a side effect of taking them, but I stopped when I switched to the new TN tablets. At first I felt fine but I feel like I have slid backwards and now probably need them again. I don’t know if it is side effects of the new tablets or just life, but I know I’ve been struggling a while and it’s probably time for a bit of intervention.

£269.45 left in the current account. (£250 overdraft available - not enough!)

18 days until I get paid.

ellenvan

Well done on listing 4 things , a lot better than nothing.

Maybe while you feel like this, just do half an hour and then take a break.

Break the listings pile down into small sections maybe?

Could you put your DD2 on commission to sell for you maybe?

Make it happen and keep going for 18 days and then hopefully it will be ok.

A visit to your GP sounds like good idea.

Wishing you all the best. You can do it!

EatingBeans

See half an hour sounds like such an easy amount to do right? I mean ordinarily it would be, but right now I am struggling to even get out of bed. I don’t know if it is depression or fatigue from something else but I just don’t have the energy to do anything. I feel like I’ve been struggling for a while now (perhaps I should reread this diary and see how much I’ve complained about it! 😬) oops!

I figured one thing I could do that would actually help is go through and actually list out everything that is expected to go in and out of my account between now and when the money is due. I’ve roughly totted it up a few times (hence why I know it isn’t enough), but I figured having a concrete number to aim for might be motivating. So I did.
I transferred all the tiny bits of cash floating around in other accounts to give me just one place to look and it’s given me:

Starting balance £302.02

Overdraft available £250 (yes, I am ignoring the stupid interest rate for now - desperate measures ok)

Expected to be short £102.46 (even after maxing overdraft)

Date I run out of cash is 12th June.

Well, it could be worse I suppose. 6 days to make (and bank!) a hundred pounds. Not going to lie, that sounds pretty difficult right now, but it’s not an impossible amount, right?

Rather than put dd2 on commission for listing, she has agreed that whatever she brings in from her own listings she will lend to me until I get the money and then i’ll pay her back.

I’ve just sold one of the things I listed for £6.50, so if I get that posted it is a start.

EatingBeans

Two Prolific surveys completed for £1.50 and £0.37. Currently all that I have available to me but given how quickly they pay out I figured it might help me make some quick cash.

ellenvan

Sorry only meant to help suggesting half an hour. Obviously I could make myself but you currently can't.

Having said that I am having a laid back day knitting and reading, instead of tidying the house.

On your shortfall look at this way that's just 21 x £5. Much too close to fail.

If the positive vibes we are all sending you help, then it can be done.

Keep going , and just say if you would rather no comments at the moment while you are not feeling 100%.

Cherryfudge

I have to say well done on the progress you've made as it can be incredibly hard to start chipping at what looks like a mountain. I think @ellenvan has a good angle on it - its 21x £5, or rather, it's now less than that as your sale and surveys have taken the total down.

A doctor's appointment could well be a good idea - can you book online and get that out of the way?

EatingBeans

Ah bless you, don’t worry I didn’t take it as a criticism, more that I couldn’t believe how difficult just the thought of half an hour was.

The good news is I have been up and listed a couple more - sold one already. Between dd2 and I that means we have sold (and waiting for the cash) for about £50. That’s good because when I factored in the delay of actually getting paid via Vinted I worked out I really only have about 48hours to make the sales. 😱

dd2, the little star, has now supplied me with dinner and we are both going to spend a bit more time listing on each of our accounts in the hope of making the remaining £50 on time. Whilst she was cooking I revised all my active ebay listings to drop prices so hopefully a few of those sell too. 🤞