Teetering on the brink

bubblycrazy

I think this has came at exactly the right time for you and you sound quite excited at the thought of a new start. Fingers crossed the payout is good and they accept your redundancy offer. 

Sun_Addict

It sounds like you’ve been given a good opportunity to get out of a job situation that you don’t enjoy anymore. I don’t blame you for thinking about taking up the offer. You’ve been given some extremely valuable advice on here and there’s lots for you to take into consideration. Only you can make that final decision though. I was made redundant from a job I loved several years ago and I was gutted 😞 However it led me to the job I’m in now and I realise the old job did me a massive favour in the end. 

EatingBeans

Lots to process! Thanks everyone. 

One thing I realised when reading through is how I now see my shopping budget as rather more flexible than I used to. A year ago I thought I’d already cut my shopping bill to the bone but then I found Olio! I might not have picked up so much over the past few weeks but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been eating food I have collected from Olio. I have just been working my way through food I had picked up and then popped in the freezer. Sure, it has not been whole meals but it all adds up. So now when I look at my budget, I almost feel like cutting my food bill is really just a case of how many nights I am willing to go out collecting and how creative I can get with meals. 😁 

I do need to redo my SOA - a job I had pencilled in for the start of a new year. And I know it might seem like it but I do still pay over £700 towards the credit cards each month - £715.08 actually paid to the credit card in October, but the ridiculous amount of interest is now just swallowing that so the balance is struggling to really move. 

My biggest weaknesses are still: spending on my dds, my dogs, and takeaways/sweet treats when the TN is playing up. Everything else I find pretty easy to cut back on. I think realistically I need to make a budget that just expects me to spend money on these things because when it comes to it, and I ask myself would I rather be debt free or spend a bit extra making memories during this last year all together, my heart always says spend the money. Pretending like that is somehow going to change is just deluding myself so I need to work a more realistic figure into my budget and find a way to make it work.

I’ve got more chance on reigning in the takeaways, but honestly, I know the best way to help myself do that would be swapping my extra fridge for a freezer so I can have more meals prepped for when I am feeling bad. This has been something I have been toying with for as long as I pondered the dishwasher purchase. I know it will help me but it seems like such a big expensive upfront expense so I’ve never done it. I may look into it a bit more though as I am sure the cost could easily be recouped through less takeaways. The dishwasher has certainly made a huge difference just on it’s own, and I look back now and wonder why on earth I didn’t do it sooner, but I still run out of pre-made food when I am hurting so takeaways do creep back in. 

The dog purchases sit somewhere in the middle. Sometimes I feel I have spent money that wasn’t really necessary, e.g. did they really need that nose and paw balm I bought this month, no, but then I look at their little chapped pads and think yes, they did. 🤦‍♀️ Obviously I know they are not going to probably even care, but I don’t want them being uncomfortable and my desire to make them happy takes over sometimes. If my ask myself would I rather be debt free or them have chapped pads, debt free wins, but I just have to remember to stand back and ask myself the question a bit more often when it comes to the dogs. 

Cherryfudge

So much going on, I've struggled to take it in! I've been reading along, though. I think the extra freezer space is a very good idea, but can you source one off FB Marketplace or somewhere? If not, there's still Black Friday (and after BF, someone might put their old freezer on FB Marketplace).

Is there a cheaper alternative for the paw balm? I suspect that, as with products aimed at humans, there's a basic version and a branded version but the active ingredients are similar.

joedenise

A second freezer seems to me to be a no brainer especially if you can keep it mainly for HM meals and Fakeaways. 

I'd be lost without my 2nd freezer and there are just the 2 of us and I don't have your health problems which causes you massive amounts of pain.

As Cherryfudge says it's worth looking on FB Marketplace or Freecycle etc for a 2nd hand one.  People often change there fridges/freezers when they do up their kitchens and decide to buy new appliance as well.  A friend of mine has changed her fridge/freezer (which was only about 9 months old) for an integrated one in her new kitchen.

Definitely worth looking.

daisy_1571

There's probably charity shops that do electrical too?  One local bhf one does and has rows of fridges and freezers at times.  Trouble with them and private sales is the getting it home, as fridges and freezers don't do well if laid on their backs (that's my understanding at least, maybe modern ones are fine) so between that and the guarantee it might be best checking new ones first.  This is a perfect time of year to get one with the sales.  The Martin programme was all about the sales dates, I cant rem but the site probably has them too.

I have three freezers, would not be without them.  In the summer I picked up a couple of courgettes from somebodys glut and was able to get about 20 portions of soup into the freezers, having the space is wonderful and you definitely need it even more than I do.  

Its really false economy to not spend on that whilst overspending on other areas. 

Also, you seem fixated on these 'last memories'.  😆 🤣 are you using that as a tiny excuse to 'allow' yourself to spend on fun but temporary stuff?  Your girls will still be with you and making memories whilst they are at uni and beyond.  They'll be back and forward, you'll be visiting them.  Is a fleeting 'memory' really better than getting more debt paid off?  Perhaps a bit less to the birthday/baptism pot might have been another £100 off the fluid card, thats almost a 10% reduction.  Try to keep remembering the bigger picture, get debt paid off, get into a house needing less work, go on holiday with them in the years to come, enjoy time with them in a nicer house in the years to come. 

Ask yourself if you are robbing your 'future memories' by paying £500 a month interest every month, thats 6grand a year you could be using to make lovely memories.  Wow thats a lot of money going to pay for things you've already bought. 

Ooooh, sorry, am I being a bit finger waggy there 😆 sorry, just trying to help.
 

Dxxx


PS Your dogs would be fine with a bit vaseline on their nose, thats what I always used when ours got older, just a very thin smear and it softened them up completely.   The pads are often cracked looking but its just the way the hair separates, its not proper cracks (unless it is deeper of course) so usually doesn't need attention. 

EatingBeans

Yes, I am sure the paw balm could have been skipped. Honestly I only really bought it to bump the cost of my order up by a few pounds in order to get free shipping for dd1’s birthday presents but still, I could have added something more sensible I am sure.

The memories thing with dd1 I am going to stand by though. If it was dd2 then it would be different - I am sure she will be repeatedly boomeranging back throughout her life, if she ever leaves at all! dd1 is different. She has so many bad memories growing up (thanks to her dad) that she just wants to run as far away as possible and never return. I know she loves dd2 and I, but she has had a great big wall up to protect herself from more harm, that letting us in and believing that we can all just be happy has been really difficult for her. She has been living full time with me for a few years now and only this past few months has she actually wanted to hug me for instance. Now I know it is not all about money - if I am still awake when she comes in I make an extra effort to stay up and listen to her talk for as long as she wants to about her day - but now she is finally able to relax and make new memories with us I feel it important that we do. So, I do understand your thinking that I am robbing future memories, but honestly, where dd1 is concerned I am not sure there will be many future memories unless we make some really good ones this year. As it stands, when I say ‘last’, it really does mean last. For dd2 and I it really is devastating to watch another sibling/child leave. My son has already been gone for years and for similar reasons wants nothing to do with any of us. We didn’t cause the harm but we are such a reminder of it that it is easier to move on and forget. 😭 

daisy_1571

Aw sorry you have had such a hard time, hopefully in time both of them realise they have the power to forget some influences and their love can encompass you and dd2 without any issues for them 

Hugs xxxx xxxxx

ellenvan

Your earlier post(9.36) makes understanding your choices easier.
Still onwards and upwards.
Just thinking the lump sum on redundancy will ease the interest situation. Fluid and Aqua gone , overpayment to some others and you may then get some nil percent offers or balance transfers.
Sometimes the memories going forward don't have to be expensive.
Things I recall most fun from a loving but slightly penny pinched childhood, are lighting fires on the hillside and cooking sausages.

Ch1ll1Phlakes

EatingBeans said:

Ch1ll1Phlakes said:

…

PPS: Just wanted to add this previous comment of yours (Teetering on the brink - Page 93 — MoneySavingExpert Forum), now I know this was written in the heat of the moment after a promotion rejection but this is how you felt at the start of September. Are things realistically going to get better or worse at your work place? Just food for though.

Thank you so much for all your great advice @Ch1ll1Phlakes     especially the redirect to my own words - great memory btw! You are spot on that it was written in the heat of the moment but it is a regular enough occurrence that I relate to that moment far too much. It is definitely going to get worse as more people leave so I think I just need to take the opportunity to get out while I still get a good package to land on. 

Great nudge about the rewards for opening accounts too. I had planned to look at the deals this month but never quite got around to it yet. Something to look into I think. 😁

Interest rates are now just all ridiculously high. I haven’t calculated how much exactly is at what rate recently but I do know Fluid is my highest at 29%. 😳 I might be tempted to clear at least that one at the very start but keeping cash in the bank to be sure I can always cover the mortgage feels more comfortable just until I get a new job again. I’m not making a definite plan until it becomes more of a reality. 

No problem. Glad to get involved and that you are open minded to consider your options and any advise given to you. That will be a major help in your road to being debt free. (Also wasn't a great memory, was scrolling for a different post but thought it would be applicable.  )

At 29% I definitely would be clearing that one first. It's debt 101 to pay off high interest first so hopefully if a lump sum comes in that will be something you can do. But you do have a lot on your plate so one thing at a time but this hopefully should be high on your priorities list if you do go for the lump sum.

EatingBeans said:

I do need to redo my SOA - a job I had pencilled in for the start of a new year. And I know it might seem like it but I do still pay over £700 towards the credit cards each month - £715.08 actually paid to the credit card in October, but the ridiculous amount of interest is now just swallowing that so the balance is struggling to really move. 

The quicker you get the interest down, the quicker this will start to move in the right direction. Those high interest cards should be the first casualties.

EatingBeans said: ...

My biggest weaknesses are still: spending on my dds, my dogs, and takeaways/sweet treats when the TN is playing up. Everything else I find pretty easy to cut back on. I think realistically I need to make a budget that just expects me to spend money on these things because when it comes to it, and I ask myself would I rather be debt free or spend a bit extra making memories during this last year all together, my heart always says spend the money. Pretending like that is somehow going to change is just deluding myself so I need to work a more realistic figure into my budget and find a way to make it work.

I’ve got more chance on reigning in the takeaways, but honestly, I know the best way to help myself do that would be swapping my extra fridge for a freezer so I can have more meals prepped for when I am feeling bad. This has been something I have been toying with for as long as I pondered the dishwasher purchase. I know it will help me but it seems like such a big expensive upfront expense so I’ve never done it. I may look into it a bit more though as I am sure the cost could easily be recouped through less takeaways. The dishwasher has certainly made a huge difference just on it’s own, and I look back now and wonder why on earth I didn’t do it sooner, but I still run out of pre-made food when I am hurting so takeaways do creep back in. 

...

Acknowledging any problems or challenges are the first steps to change so I'm really glad you can see where you need to change in the short term to be more comfortable in the long term. 

Again, with a lump sum a second freezer should hopefully be achievable and with the cost of takeaways should pay itself off maybe even before your lump sum is all used up. Try, if you can, figure out what you have spent on takeaways in the last six months and compare that total with the cost of a second hand or black Friday freezer. Tbh with the lump sum, if you can get a good deal over black friday, I'd be inclined to buy new so in the long term you have your freezer without worrying if it will ever break. But that's just me.