Gifts for Step Grandchildren

Granny_P

My son's two step children are grown and have left home - ages 24 and 19 and I am wondering if I should still buy them a Christmas gift.  My son and daughter in law now live abroad so we won't be together as a family with the boys, who live in this country,  any more.  They live quite a distance away from us so getting a gift to them would be difficult unless it was money.  Any advice?

Brie

I'd say anyone you're not seeing that is over the age of 18 doesn't need a present.  

But if you knew they wanted/needed something in particular you could get it on Amazon or other online place and have it sent direct to them.  

What I don't think you should do is treat them differently from other grandchildren of a similar age - assuming you have any.

Misslayed

I have 11 ‘step’ grandchildren (and another on the way!). None of them have ever known me as anything other than ‘Grandma’. The older ones (26,22 &19] get money transferred into their accounts, and fripperies and silliness if we see them - little stocking type presents, smellies, silly socks, their favourite chocolate or sweets. I can’t imagine cutting the line of communication under any circumstances- I’m their Grandma!

DiamondLil

Misslayed said:

I have 11 ‘step’ grandchildren (and another on the way!). None of them have ever known me as anything other than ‘Grandma’. The older ones (26,22 &19] get money transferred into their accounts, and fripperies and silliness if we see them - little stocking type presents, smellies, silly socks, their favourite chocolate or sweets. I can’t imagine cutting the line of communication under any circumstances- I’m their Grandma!

Me too - step grandchildren treated same as other grandchildren. And it gives me real pleasure to do so.

swingaloo

I don't think it has anything to do with them being 'step' grandchildren They should be treated just the same as grandchildren. But- I stop at 21 with all children I buy for. Even if they leave home its still 21. That way it's fair to all.

Glad

What do you do with your own grandchildren?
My partner has 4 grandchildren and 8 step grandchildren, all get treated the same way for birthdays and Xmas

PennysIntoPounds

Only you know the answer to this! If it would create hurt to them or guilt to you to not acknowledge them with gift buying, then do so. If you're wanting us to say it's okay to not spend money and energy you don't have, then it really is okay to not spend money and energy you don't have. 
A compromise would be to send them a nice Christmas card with a tenner in (if you can afford it) and say 'have a drink on me'- obviously they can spend it on what they like but it's a seasonal thing to do that shows you want them to be having a nice time 

scary_monger

PennysIntoPounds said:

Only you know the answer to this! If it would create hurt to them or guilt to you to not acknowledge them with gift buying, then do so. If you're wanting us to say it's okay to not spend money and energy you don't have, then it really is okay to not spend money and energy you don't have. 
A compromise would be to send them a nice Christmas card with a tenner in (if you can afford it) and say 'have a drink on me'- obviously they can spend it on what they like but it's a seasonal thing to do that shows you want them to be having a nice time 

This is what I would have said. It shows they are not forgotten/ignored and cash is always useful to young adults. I met my step mum's parents at age 14 and didnt really have a grandchild/grandparent relationship with them. I would not have expected anything, especially once I was grown. Every family has it's own different dynamic, only you know yours.

Rosa_Damascena

Personally I would steer away from giving money unless its something you can commit to for life as its loss will be easily felt. Bonuses in the business world are similar, by year 2 they become an expectation.