Need to stop spending and chasing dopamine!

liselle

Good thing you’ve caught the situation early on.

My ex, although a director of finance, was terrible with our own money, as I found out later. Because of his position he was the financial person in our marriage - big mistake! He ended up not paying anything and we lost our home.He was also a very charismatic man.

Pink_Butterfly

Thank you both. OH is happy for me to be the financial person in our relationship, as he knows he’s not good with money. I do believe he wants to be better at managing money, I just think it’s going to take a while to get him there because he’s never really done it or learned. For example, when his credit card statement was generated at the start of April, he didn’t think to look at it, so when the direct debit went out for the minimum payment the other day it took me by surprise as I hadn’t budgeted for it, because he didn’t think to check when it was coming out.

I’m sure we’ll get there, it’s just teething issues! As I said before he’s a lovely, kind man and I don’t believe he’d do anything terrible like take a loan or credit card out behind my back. He just isn’t used to checking his accounts regularly.

We had a great time in Manchester. The weather was lovely, so when we got there we grabbed a sandwich and sat outside to eat in the sunshine. Then after a mooch around some shops we sat outside a bar and ordered cocktails 😍 It was soooo so nice! We then got ready and went out for a meal before heading to the arena for the comedy gig.

The comedy gig was great and we were both laughing pretty much the whole time 😁 It was OH’s first time going to a comedy gig and now he wants to go to more 😂

The next day we drove to the Trafford centre but I resisted buying anything. OH spent £11 on a surprise bag in the Haribo store 😂 All in all the spends came to exactly what I’d budgeted for the 2 days so that was good - I got it right for once 😁

I’m about to go and meet some friends for a coffee and a walk. I’ve already stuck a wash on, loaded the dishwasher, and cleaned the en suite. OH is at a local car boot sale with his brother and DD1 has just gone there too to meet her friend. OH’s sister & her husband are popping round later so that’ll be nice. We also need to do some food shopping at some point, so it’s a busy day! Who said Sundays are for resting 😉

liselle

It does make you wonder how we managed when shops were closed on Sundays….

Pink_Butterfly

I know! We struggle enough during Easter and Christmas 😂 OH ended up going to the supermarket while I was out walking with my friends. I’ve managed to do nearly 14K steps today, which is great as my new daily target is 12.5K steps. I want to hit it at least 5 days a week, because then I’ll get the full 40 points on my Vitality account for the week, which means I’ll be able to jump to the silver status, which means lower premiums when it renews in August 😊 that’s the plan!

I’ve spent some of my ‘fun’ money today. I got a top and a pair of pjs, and I ordered a pair of trainers that were on sale (and got 9% cashback 😊). There is a small chance I’m getting the pjs for my birthday soon so if I do then I’ll return the ones I’ve bought 😁 They'll stay unworn with the tags on until then.

OH is back at work tonight so as soon as he’s gone I’ll be acting like a starfish in bed 😁 haha.

Pink_Butterfly

It’s pay day! For me anyway… OH gets paid tomorrow. We have no idea what he’ll be paid so I’ve stuck the lowest amount in the budget and anything else will be a bonus. Looking at the budget I’m hoping there’ll be quite a lot of extra overtime being paid 😬 We definitely need it!

I didn’t like the trainers that I ordered in the end so I’m going to return them. I have found some others that were on sale though so they’re on their way here 😊

I’m still walking lots which is great but it’s very tiring! I burn a lot of calories walking, even more than a body pump class, so it’s definitely worth doing. Speaking of body pump, the instructor changed the routine the other night and I didn’t like it 🤣 I was brave and lifted heavier weights though, as I’m trying to strengthen my upper body. I’ve always had stronger legs for some reason.

I’m working from home today for the first time this week. It will be my only work from home day as I’ve got to go into the office tomorrow, but that’s ok as I’m only working in the office on Friday next week so it all balances out! Yesterday 2 people brought in their dogs which was a lovely distraction 😍

OH’s car is fixed but now the central locking is playing up AGAIN 😩 Honestly that car is such a nightmare! OH looked so deflated when he realised. At this point I might just get a hammer and smash it up 🤣

DD1’s new set of drawers look lovely. Her room is almost done now and I’m so happy with it! I’d be even happier if she kept it tidy but we can’t have everything I suppose 🤪 She’s going to be a teenager very soon which I can’t quite believe. I keep asking her what she wants to do to celebrate her birthday but she keeps saying she doesn’t know. I’m sure she’ll decide last minute 🤣

DD2 has got a lot on with her SATS prep bless her but they’ll all be over in 2 weeks’ time, and then she can enjoy the rest of the time she has left at her school 🥹 I’m sad that in just 2.5 months I’ll have no more babies in primary school! 😭😭 It breaks my heart a little bit 🥺

OH is currently playing golf with his friends so I’m going to crack on with my work now and then it’ll soon be time to pick up the girls. I’ve got to walk another 5.5K steps to hit my target which should be doable 😁 My close friends are also hyper focusing on step count at the moment so it’s fun to do it with them!

Pink_Butterfly

OH ended up getting paid just over £300 more than what I budgeted which has helped massively! If we are super careful then we won’t need to borrow any money this month 🙏🏼 I felt such a relief when I saw his pay slip. Most of the direct debits went out today so I’ve updated the spreadsheet accordingly. Hopefully we can clear both loans this month once the mortgage & transfer of equity go through and then it’ll just be the pesky credit card to worry about.

My new trainers arrived today and I love them, so I’m keeping them 😍 They are New Balance ones, and they’re cream with a leopard print pattern on the logo 😁 They’re very comfortable too. Definitely worth the money. I returned the ones I didn’t like last night.

Work absolutely drained me today. I had 2 meetings which pretty much wiped me out with information 😴 I am tired. No rest for the wicked though as I still need to do 500 steps to hit my target 🤣 I’m off now for 4 days but I’m probably going to have to do some work at some point unfortunately ☹️

I’ve got all 3 girls with me tonight while OH goes to work. I walked up to the local club with DSD and DD2 earlier as I wanted to become a member, and the weather was glorious. It meant the whole neighbourhood were sat outside having a drink though 😁 Due to the hot weather OH went out to get some suncream today, and he ordered a cheap fan online. If it’s ok then we’ll order 2 more so the girls have one in each of their rooms, as it’s already getting very warm here! ☀️ Though it’s forecast to rain over the weekend 😭

Pink_Butterfly

I’ve just been having a good cry to OH. You know when the tears just won’t stop 😬 I was sobbing! I do feel better for it though. I just feel so tired and exhausted from life. Being a full-time working mum while trying to keep the house clean & tidy, making sure the fridge & cupboards are fully stocked, doing school runs and then working straight afterwards and then cooking dinner…. It’s just too much. I feel more pressure from my job now I’m stepping into a management role and I don’t know if it’s the right path for me. My role is one of those that needs me to be on form 24/7, and some days I’m just spinning so many plates and it’s HARD 😭😭 Most of the stuff I do can’t be delegated to others, so it’s not easy at all.

OH does help around the house and with school runs etc but as he works more hours than me & needs to sleep in the day I’d say I do more. He was very good when I was crying and said he will always do what he can, which he already does to be fair, I can’t really fault him. I envy his job sometimes as he goes to work, drives a truck or 2, and then comes home, so there’s nothing he needs to carry into his next shift if that makes sense?

My lifestyle is a big reason why holidays mean so much to me, because it’s the only time my brain rests. Oh, and spa days 🤣 if only I could afford more!

Anyway, I’ve had a shower and feel much better. I’m currently getting ready as I’m going out with 4 friends soon for a meal and drinks to celebrate my birthday (which is in a couple of days). I’m sure that will cheer me up 🙂

BalanceBy50

I really feel for you my lovely. Being a working mum is the toughest role out there! Try & give yourself a break when you can x

Dakota_Rose

I can empathise with you, and some days that load feels too tough to manage. Making time for your own wellbeing is crucial, even in just the smallest ways. Have a lovely meal tonight just being your own woman for a bit.

Pink_Butterfly

Thank you both. I had a great night with my friends - really enjoyed myself. I needed an evening of good food, nice cocktails and lots of laughs! And best of all it came in under budget 😉

I’ve been a good girl and dragged my tired self to the gym. OH and DSD came with me too, though I think OH overdid it as he got an awful cramp while we were there 😬 I’ve also been to see my mum, brother and little nephew 🥰 All in all it’s been a nice day and I’ve hit my exercise points target. OH is about to get up for work and then I’ll be going to bed. Another year older tomorrow! 👵🏼🤣