Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay more towards our household costs?

Just_An_Opinion

If my partner complained to me about a living situation like this I would get a mortgage on the house we were both living in and pay off the bungalow.

Be careful what you wish for... you've got it easy so far

Southendormargate

None of this makes any sense. You ask if you should pay more then say you think you are already paying too much. His mum owns the house but lives in a bungalow he built but somehow has a mortgage on. You will never own the house and there is no reason why you should. You own the contents or at least some of them. 

LAMBS60

Ask him why he is complaining now after all this time , and what is making him unhappy . You need to do a few sums and work out where things are not right . Maybe it has taken him a few years to come to the realisation that what he thought was ok a few years back is not adding up now . For goodness sake, you share a home , talk to him !

Ed264

If it's correct that your outgoings are more than his, then I think you're paying your fair share and don't think you should offer to pay more. 

LightFlare

How much would 50% of the rent/mortgage on your home be (if any had to be paid ?

You are still getting free accommodation 

He provides the house and bills - you do the food.
Who pays how much is kind of irrelevant- I think you are getting a great deal

smartwoman

Sit down together d discuss what you are both spending.
You are effectively paying for his living costs without any come back. If you split he has both houses and you have nothing 

mazza73monk

My partner and I earn pretty similar amounts, so we pay half of the total bills each every month, regardless of what they are.

The only thing we each pay is for our own cars, but any other bills are split equally to make it fair.

For all the groceries and extras, we pay into a separate "fun fund" which pays for all food and anything we do together like going out etc. Works well for us!

By the way, we both pay too much into the pots every month so we build up some savings too.

Then again, we both have more than enough to do pretty much what we like, so we have a good life where money isn't really an issue. (Only because we've been frugal over the years and built up a tidy nest egg each)

VT82

You don't pay any bills or rent to have a roof over your head, but you worry you are paying 'over and above' because you buy food and (checks notes...) bedding?

OK, so you aren't building equity through home ownership, but you pay practically nothing to live, so you should be squirrelling away a small fortune in savings or investments as an alternative future nest egg. If you aren't, that's on you. You have nothing to moan about.

squirrel59

Why don't you just sit down with him and put both your figures on paper? Even if you don't own the house, you still live there, so some rent consideration would be fair, plus a fair share of all normal bills. But the point is, don't ask us; talk to him instead.

Rocketdogroya

I interpret that he 'actually' owns the house he built that his mum lives in hence why he pays the mortgage and they have an agreement that he lives in the bigger home. Assuming that he will also be paying insurance and possible council tax?

However, he will eventually benefit from that. No one has even thought if he has siblings that will inherit a portion on the house they live in?
I understand why complaining has only recently started. Due to cost of living EVERYTHING has gone up much more than wages. If you do the shopping he wont be really aware of that increase too. I know I do an online shop and EVERY month without fail my partner is traumatized by the fact its almost 50% more than what we paid 2-3 years ago. so he may not be truly aware how its impacting you too.

All that being said I still do not thing paying for his food covers your share of house hold bills. Regardless of mortgages you still live there and shower, cook, keep, warm flush the toilet etc so you should factor 50% of council tax, gas, electricity water and content insurance and see if 50% of thee food bill equates to the same as they have increase astronomically too! 

Paying for all the house 'stuff' is a hard one, he may not be bothered by a new bedspread of throws or what ever so its difficult to say if thats a portion of household costs. DIY, new carpets and sofas etc I agree is though.

I would suggest an adult conversation with actual expenditure over a month for you both and then work out a way to split it roughly equally.