Living with partner - how much money to ask for

izawa

If your partner is best, then i suggest get married. After that try this, save one full income if possible. in no time you will pay house

Emily_Joy

I really don't get it how people manage to live with another adult who stays clear of all household-running related jobs, because this way they would acquire interest in the house. There is always a hundred little and not so little jobs to be done, something always needs attention, it is just hard to imagine one can stay completely out of it while another one is running around all weekends and sometimes weekday evenings trying to get things done.

Exodi

ButterCheese said:

I was going to add; I think it is fair to ask for half the rent/food/bills at the very least.  There are some more complicated things to consider for contribution for just living there:

What do you mean 'half the rent/food/bills at the very least'? What else would you hope to charge them for? Or are you suggesting they should pay more than half?

1: You could ask for half the mortgage, but bear in mind you have more interest in the property than your partner does i.e. it's an appreciating assett

Not only is it generally an appreciating asset, but in the case of a repayment mortgage (about 90% of all mortgages) your payment is directly reducing the principal balance (e.g. even if the house price stood still for the entire term of the mortgage, you'd have gained the full value in equity). It goes without saying you would have 'more' interest in the property than the partner does, as the partner has exactly zero interest. How you think it's fair to ask for half the mortgage is beyond me.

2: Consider rental rates for a room in a shared house in the same area, of the same size, conveniences etc.  This would likely be in excess of £800/month so it might be a bit much to ask for that!

What a great way to think about a relationship. Rentals come with all the rights of a tenant, which includes the comfort of knowing they won't get home from work one day and find their stuff on the driveway because they disagreeed with their partner over text. That's not considering repairs or their own space. I'm glad you think that asking for full market rent 'might be a bit much to ask for'...

C:  You could ask for the lesser of either half the mortgage cost or the cost of a room to rent in a simialr house to yours.  You don't want to necessarily profit too much from having your partner live there, but then again you are the one with the mortgage and therefore the risk/responsibility.

Or neither. Do you not find it particularly odd that you had to even include the comment "You don't want to necessarily profit too much"? There should no expectation to profit from your partner at all! If the OP was happily paying the full mortgage (and gaining equity) beforehand, it doesn't follow that the OP should suddenly be unhappy paying the full mortgage (which hasn't changed) now (but of course making sure to continue receiving all the equity). Your whole comment is plagued with bias, but not so much as "you are the one with the mortgage and therefore the risk/responsibility" - isn't the idiom usually 'risk/reward', or are we just ignoring the obvious benefits from having a mortgage? Likewise highlighting the responsibility of a mortgage while simultaneously trying to offload it onto the new partner?

Couldn't disagree more strongly (specific responses in bold).

I think the uncertain scenario you are now in is one the OP and their partner should proactively work to avoid.

And that's also not considering proprietary estoppel, where someone may successfully argue that by contributing to the mortgage, they believed they were gaining a beneficial interest in the property. Hence people on this forum try to avoid charging anything related to the mortgage.

That's not to say I disagree with @tacpot12 's position (where he was paying rent because he was able to generate income from renting his own house out) - that seems fair to me and it's all about striking a fair balance. What that fair balance looks can differ (e.g. where the is an income disparity) but I'd suggest it's very unlikely to involve turning your new non-home-owning partner into a cash machine via charging them half your mortgage that you were happily paying before, while pocketing all the equity.

RAS

With respect to the insecurity of the non-owner, I've seen it suggested that they undertake to save a certain amount of money each month.

If the relationship breaks down, they have an escape fund.

If the couple decide to go for joint ownership, the non-owner has some assets to contribute to mortgage reduction, or whatever they agree. 

Spendless

Emily_Joy said:

I really don't get it how people manage to live with another adult who stays clear of all household-running related jobs, because this way they would acquire interest in the house. There is always a hundred little and not so little jobs to be done, something always needs attention, it is just hard to imagine one can stay completely out of it while another one is running around all weekends and sometimes weekday evenings trying to get things done.

When I bought a house on my own in the 90s I asked my solicitor what would happen if I later had a boyf live with me and then we split, would he be able to have ny claim on my house.

The sol said all cases are judged on their own merit, but if this hypothetical boyf had paid for improvements then possibly. He gave examples of paying for double glazed windows and that sort of thing. For that reason I would expect there to be a difference between paying for a conservatory or extension than doing things like painting a skirting board or buying  anew light pull for the bathroom and fixing it.

Exodi

Spendless said:

Emily_Joy said:

I really don't get it how people manage to live with another adult who stays clear of all household-running related jobs, because this way they would acquire interest in the house. There is always a hundred little and not so little jobs to be done, something always needs attention, it is just hard to imagine one can stay completely out of it while another one is running around all weekends and sometimes weekday evenings trying to get things done.

When I bought a house on my own in the 90s I asked my solicitor what would happen if I later had a boyf live with me and then we split, would he be able to have ny claim on my house.

The sol said all cases are judged on their own merit, but if this hypothetical boyf had paid for improvements then possibly. He gave examples of paying for double glazed windows and that sort of thing. For that reason I would expect there to be a difference between paying for a conservatory or extension than doing things like painting a skirting board or buying  anew light pull for the bathroom and fixing it.

I think where they are seen to have materially added value. As you say, painting the skirting board is unlikely to mean you can sell a house for more, but adding an extension might. The other foundation of proprietary estoppel is whether the person living with you believed they might gain an interest in the house. A tenant would not be expected to contribute towards an extension on the house they rent, so it doesn't follow why a 'pseudo-tenant' living with their partner would, unless there was some expectation of gaining an interest.

I think by Emily_Joy saying 'house-hold running related jobs' that they're probably framing this around negligible tasks like changing light bulbs and doing household chores, and in that regard they're mistaken. But more generally regarding repairs, if you intend to treat the person living with you like a tenant, then you should expect to be treated like a landlord and be responsible for repairs.

_Penny_Dreadful

Arsenal2019 said:

Hi

i bought a house maybe three months ago now and I’ve been living here with my partner. The deposit and mortgage was and is paid by myself and my partner has paid no contributions towards the mortgage or council tax.  The mortgage is solely in my name.

I was wondering if anyone is in the same boat and would like to know what is a reasonable amount of money to ask for my partner to contribute or give to me each month to help cover for bills or shopping or whatever as we both live under the same house . Obviously, I don’t want to take the Mick just whatever it seemed to be fair. To me, I would’ve said shopping and heating and electric so maybe £500 per month.?

I guess it can be just a hard or awkward conversation to have 

Are you suggesting that your partner pays 100% of the electricity, heating and grocery shopping?  If so then I don't think that's fair.  You consume half of those things so you should contribute 50% of the cost of those things.  Council tax should also be 50/50.  If you don't want your partner to claim a beneficial interest in your property then you pay 100% of the mortgage yourself and I'd also suggest that any service charges and building insurance is also your costs.