Living with partner - how much money to ask for

Arsenal2019

Hi

i bought a house maybe three months ago now and I’ve been living here with my partner. The deposit and mortgage was and is paid by myself and my partner has paid no contributions towards the mortgage or council tax.  The mortgage is solely in my name.

I was wondering if anyone is in the same boat and would like to know what is a reasonable amount of money to ask for my partner to contribute or give to me each month to help cover for bills or shopping or whatever as we both live under the same house . Obviously, I don’t want to take the Mick just whatever it seemed to be fair. To me, I would’ve said shopping and heating and electric so maybe £500 per month.?

I guess it can be just a hard or awkward conversation to have 

cymruchris

How much is their salary - how much is your salary - is this to be a short term arrangement?

There's no easy answer.

If there's just the two of you - then maybe bills half each across the board - whether that's electric, gas, shopping or whatever.

If you earn £100k though and they earn nothing - it might need a different approach.

Devongardener

There are a lot of more knowledgeable people on this forum who will explain the pros and cons of your partner contributing specifically to the mortgage.
It depends on whether you want the partner to establish a share in the property, and how long you have been together, otherwise you could suggest they pay a proportion of council tax, utilities and groceries etc, or maybe even an approximate rent for the area.    Someone here will suggest how this might be considered as paying towards the mortgage.   

ouraggie

I was in the same boat. My partner paid all bills in his own ( empty) house. 

At mine he paid the extra 25% i was charged for council tax, plus he paid for all food, cleaning stuff etc and i continued to pay all household bills. So I was paying more than i had been for water, gas and electricity because of his additional consumption.
Him paying the food bill balanced this out ( he was now paying more than he had been for food because of my additional consumption). 

It seemed to work.
I also paid for the broadband and petrol. He paid for meals out. Again, that evened out. 

sammyjammy

Why wouldn't you have agreed this when he moved in?  It would be better from an ownership point of view if he took responsibility for paying certain bills rather than give you cash, giving cash could be  perceived further down the line as contributing to the mortgage.

Arsenal2019

cymruchris said:

How much is their salary - how much is your salary - is this to be a short term arrangement?

There's no easy answer.

If there's just the two of you - then maybe bills half each across the board - whether that's electric, gas, shopping or whatever.

If you earn £100k though and they earn nothing - it might need a different approach.

Probably would’ve been helpful if I mentioned that.  Both early pretty much the same, around 35k each 

Arsenal2019

sammyjammy said:

Why wouldn't you have agreed this when he moved in?  It would be better from an ownership point of view if he took responsibility for paying certain bills rather than give you cash, giving cash could be  perceived further down the line as contributing to the mortgage.

Ahhh I see what you mean. So would you say set up the direct debits in their name then? Rather than sending me money for bills.

my household bills are in a separate account to the one the mortgage and council tax comes out of too 

tacpot12

I live with my partner in her home. It is a home that she has owned for a long time. She paid the mortgage off just before I met her. She was very clear that she wanted to leave her home to her children, but also wanted me to move in to live with her. We had been dating for quite a few years before we discussed me moving in. 

I agreed I would pay her £200 in 'rent' as this was half the income I was receiving for renting my home out (after expenses), and would pay half the other household bills. Our Household Bills are now about £5300 a year covering Council Tax, Energy, Water, House Insurance, TV Licence, Window Cleaning. So I would be paying her £220 pcm as my half share of the bills were it not for the fact that we have tried to arrange the bills so that she pays some and pay the rest. We also have pets and run one car between us, so that there are Pet Insurance costs plus all the  costs of running a car. So the way we have organised it is that I make a balancing payment to her each month as she is paying a bit more than I am, and I also pay her the £200 in rent, which has now increased a bit due to inflation. 

As we were getting on well, I sold my house and invested the sale proceeds and she now gets half the investment income as my 'rent'. 

We have an agreement that I will pay half of the replacement costs in the house, so when mattresses, sofas, and appliances need replacing we split these cost of these in half. I am starting to draw the line at sharing the cost of maintaining the house - if it ever needed new windows or roof I would not contribute financially, because I feel that my rent was sufficient to cover these costs. My partner has more financial resources than I do as a result of working for many years in a good job. We are now both retired. I am very handy - I'd done lots of improvements in her house, including installing a downstairs toilet, so I would contribute my technical skills to make sure that any big jobs were specified properly, but I would not be happy paying for them. 

Hope this helps with some ideas as to how you might discuss this with your partner and come to an agreement that will stend the test of time. 

Arsenal2019

tacpot12 said:

I live with my partner in her home. It is a home that she has owned for a long time. She paid the mortgage off just before I met her. She was very clear that she wanted to leave her home to her children, but also wanted me to move in to live with her. We had been dating for quite a few years before we discussed me moving in. 

I agreed I would pay her £200 in 'rent' as this was half the income I was receiving for renting my home out (after expenses), and would pay half the other household bills. Our Household Bills are now about £5300 a year covering Council Tax, Energy, Water, House Insurance, TV Licence, Window Cleaning. So I would be paying her £220 pcm as my half share of the bills were it not for the fact that we have tried to arrange the bills so that she pays some and pay the rest. We also have pets and run one car between us, so that there are Pet Insurance costs plus all the  costs of running a car. So the way we have organised it is that I make a balancing payment to her each month as she is paying a bit more than I am, and I also pay her the £200 in rent, which has now increased a bit due to inflation. 

As we were getting on well, I sold my house and invested the sale proceeds and she now gets half the investment income as my 'rent'. 

We have an agreement that I will pay half of the replacement costs in the house, so when mattresses, sofas, and appliances need replacing we split these cost of these in half. I am starting to draw the line at sharing the cost of maintaining the house - if it ever needed new windows or roof I would not contribute financially, because I feel that my rent was sufficient to cover these costs. My partner has more financial resources than I do as a result of working for many years in a good job. We are now both retired. I am very handy - I'd done lots of improvements in her house, including installing a downstairs toilet, so I would contribute my technical skills to make sure that any big jobs were specified properly, but I would not be happy paying for them. 

Hope this helps with some ideas as to how you might discuss this with your partner and come to an agreement that will stend the test of time. 

Thank you for taking the time to reply!

FlorayG

My cousin lives with her partner. He pays the mortgage and she pays all the bills (they live near London so the mortgage is high). This works for them and is a simple arrangement - but they are both on the deeds of the house, so slightly different to your situation

Sarahspangles

You need a Living Together agreement. If you don’t believe me, look through this board at all the times having no agreement or relying on an informal verbal agreement has left people in a mess.

It’s not romantic but nor is a weekend arguing about who should pay towards replacing the built in washing machine they’ve both used for the last four years.

https://www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/how-make-living-together-agreement

The guide in the link can be read for free.