Broke and lonely with it

ET22

Hi, i just need some help to keep myself accountable for getting my bills brought up to date after a spell of no income and no savings. 

Basically i left a well paid career due to stress and now earn a lot less than i used to. 

I do have cc debt from when i could afford to borrow it  but have decided theres no way i can pay it on my small income so ive let it default and we will see what happens. I have actually got an arrangement with a debt collection agency for one card but my circumstances have changed again so i will be contacting them this week and explaining my current situation. 

However, with no savings and spells between low paid jobs, i am behind on basic things and owe a family member 450 quid which is a priority to pay back. As im now paid weekly in my current job i am planning on paying the 450 quid back over the next three weeks. 

i worked 32 hours last week at 15 pound ph and picked up 380. Next week i will do the full 35 hour àweek at 15ph. The gross pay next week will be 525 so i think the net should be 420? Not sure 

Ive just set up my dd for electricity again to start going out on 1st october and because i couldnt make a full council tax repayment this month i decided i would go online and pay it weekly until im in a postion where i can make a monthly payment in one go again.

I am also behind on service charges for my flat. 

My internet and phone come to around 40 quid a month and i am holding off putting a water meter reading in because i cant pay it til october anyway. 

So here is the plan: 
1. Pay family member back 200 quid this week and pay one weekly payment of ctax 

2. Next friday , same as above 

3. The friday after, pay family member 50 quid and pay one weekly payment of council tax. My mortgage will also go out of my account at the end of/  beginning of the month and i should have enough to pay this too. Its only 250 quid 

4. I then need to catch up with service charge payments which i am.frightened to look at atm but will be brave and look at the amount once September has been and gone.

I have also had a stupid disposable vape addiction which from today has stopped as it cannot carry on so im going to buy some nicotine lozenges today which have done the job well in the past. 

I only have to go into the office twice a week now so i pay for two taxis on each day to get to and from a train station which is probably going to cost 20 quid a week. 

I have no other need to spend any money apart from some basic bits of shopping like milk and bread and bananas and potatoes.

I have no other choice but to be disciplined to get through the next few months. 

But i do tend to withdraw from people when i have a lot to deal with on my own and i isolate myself which i know isnt good and my mental health deteriorates. I also then stop looking after my physical health and my home so im hoping that by starting a diary on here that i will keep a social connection with people who understand and have been the same position. 

I need to be able to stay disciplined in the rest of my life while i am getting myself back together financially. Im hoping by posting updates that i can avoid deteriorating and keep motivated while paying off debt.I am at the point where even washing my hair feels like too much x  

Sarahspangles

Think about checking in with your GP - in case they can offer help with smoking cessation and potentially with low mood - doesn’t necessarily mean tablets, in some areas they can refer or you can self refer to talk to someone.

Is there space for a lodger?

ET22

@Sarahspangles, thankyou for responding. I went to the gp a couple of weeks ago to get a meds review. I was referred to a talking therapy service but unfortunately they have no appts outside of my working hours. I do think the low mood will improve a bit once i get myself back in a more stable place financially. I think i need to hold myself to account by being pro-ative in managing it, like making sure i go out for a walk every day and starting hobbies like reading. I also need to make sure i eat properly too because this also falls by the wayside when i get this low.   

 
I gave up smoking about 12 months ago and this time i did it starting off with vaping and nicotine tablets but was able to stop the vaping and just used the nicotine tablets and got down to two a day, then something stressful happened and i started buying disposable vapes and have used them for most of this year and the expense has been ridiculous. If i buy a box of nicotine lozenges it can last a couple of weeks but i will contact a local non smoking service and see if i can get them for free, thankyou x     

There is a small space for a lodger, so i will definetly consider it x   

MFWannabe

Well done for posting on here;  you’ll get lots of useful advice and support 

Grumpelstiltskin

Have you downloaded the Olio and To Good To Go apps to your phone?

OK they are both hit and miss but if you happen to get someone on Olio who lives close to you and you can collect at a time to suit you it can be good and totally free,
Again TGTG could have a shop close to your work and the food is much cheaper than normal.

ET22

Thanlyou all for posting x

I have heard of the apps bit never used them. I will download them today x

I forced myself to go out for a walk to the supermarket and back, just to get bread,  milk and the nictotine lozenges. My goal is to make sure i go out every day for a walk and read before i go to bed. I think it will help.me with a routine and means i wont be sitting at home just thinking about pay day 

 i have made a plan to pay everything off, i just need to try and change lifestyle habits while i am doing it so that i can see some  improvements in all areas of my life even if they do seem little. 

This weekend i paid 200 pounds back to a relative and paid 40 pounds off my c tax ( i had already made a paymeny of 50 quid towards September in August).

Next weekend i will do the same again. I think once ive paid my relative back i will feel more positive about things and im also feeling a lot better about the fact i set my electricity dd up again for 1st October. I just have to be very careful with the heating over the winter. 

Pollie

The smoking cessation nurse at my GP surgery prescribes free lozenges, gum etc.

ET22

Thanks @Pollie. I will ring them in the morning first thing x 

Blackcats

You will get a warm welcome and lots of support here.  Posting every day will help you stick to your plans or adapt them when necessary. You will also get responses from other posters which might help you feel less lonely.  Plus there's always lots of great hints and tips.

Do you use your library for books?  

have a look at the old style boards too - there are some helpful threads on there.  I post on the monthly grocery challenge which really helps me to stick to my grocery budget (well  mostly stick to it but definitely better than if I didn't post 🙃)

A0911

Hey ET, not about the money side but for your mental wellbeing and accountability, you can sign up to a free Flown membership (you'll get a free trial first, after that select the free tier). It's an online coworking space where people come together, share their intentions and then work on something for a set period of time, usually an hour or two hours. You have everybody on the screen like you would in a Zoom meeting.

In facilitated sessions, at the start, you go into small groups of 3 or 4 to share what you'll be working on and answer a check-in question (so a good bit of chat), then back out into the bigger 'room' for your focus time.

As a free member you can access community group sessions every day, all facilitated sessions on a Friday, and weekly 'take off' sessions on Mondays to set your intentions for the week.

I have found it invaluable for keeping me on track and accountable, the people are lovely and very friendly (I tell them if I'm having a tough time). I use it a lot for work but I also use it for self-care, e.g. if I'm in a bit of a depressive hole, I'll jump on a session for an hour and set an intention to e.g. eat, shower, floss, do admin. 

I hope this helps. It's normal and human to feel lonely at points, though we're conditioned to think otherwise. Rooting for you. 

ET22

@Blackcats, thankyou.  I dont actually use the library but I should start , its about ten minutes walk away and I think I still have my library card from years ago. Ive got a few books at home i havent read, so im going to have a look at those too.

Ive just googled the library opening times and its open on saturday and til 7pm on tuesdays and thursdays when i will be in the office and can pass the library on the way home. I will dig the library card out x