Money Moral Dilemma: Should we buy a second-hand gift for our young relative?

eao

Buying 2nd hand is great; way back I bought my wife a few 2nd hand items from "Exchange and Mart", remember that magazine.  For some reason or other she did not appreciate the periscope and telescope that I bought so I would advise vouchers but those universal ones with the Queen's or even the King's head on them.

MsMoon

FlorayG said:

You say YOUR child wants a specific second-hand item. If the cousin wants a specific second-hand item them that's what you get them. If they haven't a particular gift in mind I would still get the vouchers. Just because your child wants a used item doesn't mean theirs does, and they're not being 'cheap' they're getting yours exactly what he wants
although you say "...get him some toys he wants second-hand..." but do you mean "...get him second-hand some toys he wants..."? Those are different things

You will have to explain how they are two different things as they seem exactly the same to me! Plus where do you work out that the child "wants" a second hand item and thirdly although buying things second hand items as gifts is ok if everyone is alright with it, it is inherently a bit cheap though.

MsMoon

RS156 said:

You're just being petty. Buying kids toys 'preloved' (as we choose to call it) is a wise option. I'm not keen on spending money on virgin plastics and things that kids grow out of too quickly. I'd support this of the Aunt, as long as they're still in clean condition (she will clean them up I'm sure). For the vouchers, there can be a lot of reasons for this. Maybe the Aunt also doesn't want virgin plastics bought for her home and wants to buy from ethical sources, maybe she wants to pool vouchers towards bigger purchases that her child would like, who knows. It makes sense to keep budgets similar. But anything else is just getting petty. If your kids cousin asks for a specific toy at some stage then you could look into getting that - look at the sales, look at preloved, look at vouchers. What's the big deal? 

"virgin plastic" lol!

MsMoon

Perhaps from next year ask her to start giving gift vouchers for your son as well - make an excuse something like he keeps changing his mind about what he wants or something. Then you can see how much she spends on vouchers and give her son the same - this will avoid any awkwardness in future.

themadvix

MsMoon said:

"virgin plastic" lol!

Not sure what’s funny here, this is what new plastic is called. Mining fossil fuels to produce tat (I’m not saying the toys in question are) is a big contributor to the climate mess we’re in. In my view there is nothing ‘cheap’ as you put it about buying preloved items to reduce the impact we have on the planet - maybe consider all the costs not just the financial ones when making purchases.

Bashyacta

Why not give cash instead of vouchers? This avoids any risk of loss if the issuer of the voucher should go bust and gives the recipient the choice of buying new or second-hand  

Granniesue69

I can’t believe I’m reading all this! Gifts are given from the heart not to a specific value. My kids have always appreciated all that’s been given to them. We’ve never been wealthy, a lot of their toys when they were younger were  hand made by us, we had two girls and two boys all in six years, money was very tight as it is for many people now. We now have five grandchildren and are awaiting our seventh great grandchild next month.
we don’t have the money to buy expensive gifts for them all but I know they appreciate whatever they get because it’s been given with love.

Thinking_about_this

I do not see the giving of gifts as a swop where values must be equal. A gift is a token of love, we give as is appropriate to our and to their circumstances. Someone is hunting out the gifts requested. Much more time consuming than buying them new. If that doesn't show love what does? I would add here that children don't have to receive everything that they wish for. Sometimes their wishes are impractical. If you have more enriched circumstances maybe treat the family to an afternoon out with all expenses covered by you. If your circumstances are similar give as your heart and head dictate. 

jedav

Have a conversation with her, perhaps along the lines of "would you prefer us us to buy something specific from a marketplace?"?  She may have moral reasons for buying second hand, not just pecuniary ones.

Missy15

Personally I think it's it's a sensible idea, the child gets what he would like.
Bearing in mind the same new toys would cost substantially more, the aunt is spending to her chosen budget.
If you really think there is an issue with that, and the fact you buy vouchers instead, it's easily solved, look up the prices online and give cash to the same value.