Drowning in (son's) debt - getting desperate

devondiver

fatbelly said:

Look, debts in his name are his debts and he has 150k equity to access. He can do this voluntarily or, if he continues to fail to pay the mortgage, the matter will be taken out of his hands.

Meanwhile it sounds like you have a load of debts in your name as a result of 'helping' him.

If you want to list your debts, which would be a good exercise for you, we will help you to get debt free

Hi. He has always paid his mortgage on time. How easy/costly is it to access equity? (Never considered this myself.)

The only debts we have are "his" 0% deals - currently nearly all with Barclaycards but some with Nationwide.

Grumpelstiltskin

Forget trying to access equity, that is not on.

He needs as been stated to open a basic bank account, ( no overdraft) and stop paying all his unsecured debts.

Make sure the  bank he opens his account with is not connected to any banking group he owes money to.

devondiver

stymied said:

It sounds like he may need to open a basic bank account separate to the banks that own his debts inc the overdraft, then stop paying the unsecured debt. Once it has defaulted the interest and charges will stop and he can start digging himself out of the hole. If he continues to pay his mortgage / secured debt then his house should be safe. Has he been paying your brother back too?

Hi. This sounds like a good idea but is it really the best way to go - and how do I find out? I'm pretty ignorant in this respect.

My brother stomped up 6 years ago on the basis of a 1 to 2 year loan. He has not seen a penny, but mentions it only occassionally. Fortunately, he is not strapped - like me.

Grumpelstiltskin

Look you can't do any of this for your son he has to do it himself, he needs to come on here and we will deal with him, show him the way forward etc but you can't do it for him.

devondiver

Grumpelstiltskin said:

Forget trying to access equity, that is not on.

He needs as been stated to open a basic bank account, ( no overdraft) and stop paying all his unsecured debts.

Make sure the  bank he opens his account with is not connected to any banking group he owes money to.

My son's mortgage and bank account are with Halifax which is charging him overdraft interest at 49.9%, that's £104pm!

Also his Halifax card is maxed at £3,650 but, curiously they have, as of last month, halved the interest on this to 15% without being asked.

Would it not be tricky to default on the overdraft and card but leave the mortgage situation unaffected?

devondiver

Grumpelstiltskin said:

Look you can't do any of this for your son he has to do it himself, he needs to come on here and we will deal with him, show him the way forward etc but you can't do it for him.

Agreed, but I can't see that happening - so I have to try. 

Grumpelstiltskin

No the mortgage is a secured debt, Halifax know if things went pear shaped and he didn't pay his mortgage they have an asset, his house they could go for., as long as he pays his mortgage, by standing order from his new bank he will be OK

lookbook

Grumpelstiltskin said:

No the mortgage is a secured debt, Halifax know if things went pear shaped and he didn't pay his mortgage they have an asset, his house they could go for., as long as he pays his mortgage, by standing order from his new bank he will be OK

That's correct. 

devondiver

Should he talk to them - or just do it?

TheAble

devondiver said:

Hi Kp - Briefly:
Bank and CC minimums: 371 (of which 289 is interest alone)
Children: 450 (paid to mum as per CSA dictat)
Council tax: 245 (plus 286.50 last month to debt collector)
Vehicle tax/ins/fuel/RAC: 260 (commutes on motorcycle, car used occasionally but needed for kids)
Household power/internet/mobile/water/insurance/etc: 393 (working on getting this halved)
CC payments held by me: 500 (I have been paying this lately)
Totals 2,219 before any food, sundries, car repairs or anything else.

Thanks, DD

Even without the £500 to yourself he's barely got enough to make his minimums, once you factor in food etc. 

It may be a case of him going into some sort of debt management for the overdraft and credit cards he does have. I'm not sure how repayments to you and your brother would factor into that however - maybe they can be incorporated somehow.

In any event definitely don't take any more of his debts on yourself. It's gone from 16k to 21k as you've said and will only go higher if you do. Credit is not suitable for everyone and my feeling is that your son needs to learn to live without it.