Stopping the backsliding… a family of four no longer living beyond their means

LittleGem

I really love reading about your attitude to food and your kids, it’s really got me thinking about how to approach things with my kids who both have fussy tendencies and are snack monsters, fruit is so much cheaper than all the pre packaged snacks. 

An Instagrammer I follow has been talking about personal budget allowances and how she wasn’t sure what to set hers as and went with £100. It’s tricky to know I imagine as some months will require much more spending than others!

theoretica

I splashed out on some of the wash in waterproofer for jackets and other rainwear - and it works.  Actually I got a free sample of the special cleaner and the waterproofer and it convinced me to buy more and do all my and my parents' stuff.  My tip is to use the handwash instructions (as it uses about half the amount of the treatment) but do it in an old wash tub or something and wear gloves as otherwise you end up with a waterproof layer on your hands.

Bluegreen143

Glad to see my ramblings are of interest to others! 

We all really enjoyed the pulled pork soup last night. Even Bambi ate it all up with zero complaints! In case it’s of interest, I’ve included a rough method below:

- obviously make the pulled pork first. I did mine first in the Instant Pot, then finished in the BBQ. Using the Instant Pot (instead of slow barbecuing all day) is not only quicker and more fuel-efficient, but yields some good stock - keep this! 

- then I sautéed off some chopped aromatic veg - frozen leek, carrot, celery and red pepper. You could add onion, obviously, but we had more leek in. I added some crushed garlic and paprika/cumin/oregano towards the end.

- next I added other veg (in this case sliced mushrooms and cabbage, but it could be green beans, courgette, kale, whatever you think will be nice, but save things which cook very quickly, like spinach, for the end). I also added chopped tomatoes and stock (a mix of the pulled pork stock and good-quality canned chicken stock - not very MSE but I never use stock cubes 🙈). Season to taste.

- I cooked under pressure in the Instant Pot for 20 mins, then added the shredded leftover pulled pork, a can of beans (black or kidney beans would be best, but I only had cannelini) and some frozen sweetcorn. Fresh coriander would be nice but I didn’t have any. Warm through the beans and any fresh veg added. 

And that’s it! It’s very like minestrone tbh, but with some Tex Mex flavours and no pasta. 

In other news, Red has hurt his back and is on his second day off from work. Which has budgetary implications as he’s not paid for sick days. Our budget continues to get a hammering!! He really does look miserable, I hope it’s better soon. He’s currently only taking ibuprofen but will see a doctor if it doesn’t improve in the next day or two. 

Today I’ve got a “meet the teacher” session for Bambi so have a slightly complex work day - I did do an extra 1.5hr last night to “catch up” in advance! today I worked 7.15-7.45, then took a break to drive to school, and am currently working on my laptop hooked up to my phone in the car passenger seat 🤣. I’ll head to the office for the afternoon after the school session. 

I have a second session tomorrow for Monkey so will have another 1.5 hour of work to fit in during the evenings this week 🙄. But at least I’m not in the office tomorrow! 

Baileys_Babe

Have you found somewhere cheap to park?

Bluegreen143

No not yet Baileys Babe. I was parking at Lidl as the school had an arrangement with them last year but it turns out it’s not in place anymore and they’ve just installed scanners at Lidl to scan your receipt and enter your registration or else you get fined. So I’m at £6.60 for today. 

dawnybabes

I park in our town centre Tesco - it’s free for 90 mins but I always nip in and buy something as I feel guilty ! But normally below £3 which is the town parking fee.  

Just paying the parking is wasted money if you can buy anything to cancel it out 

joedenise

Our Lidl you can park for 90 minutes as long as you scan your receipt.  I just go in a buy something like a tin of tomatoes or a banana so that I can visit the High Street.  You could probably do the same - just check how long you can park for.  You really don't need to spend much, just pick up something you use regularly.

fionaandphil

Have you tried some of those heat patches for Reds back? We get ours from the pound shop, you stick them onto the sore bit and it seems to help as it warms up the affected area.  Not quite sure how it works but it does!

Bluegreen143

He’s going to go to the pharmacist tomorrow or call the doctor (assuming he’s not feeling better). I think he could at least do with some ibuprofen gel or similar. 

Good ideas to just nip in and buy a tin of tomatoes when parking! 

Had a really good conversation with Red today (instead of waiting til Wed, he actually initiated chatting about money earlier so we just had our meeting). Felt very good, that we were on the same page/a team.

Outcomes:

1. We agreed that having our finances less joint has been a disaster and we won’t be doing that again. Red said he’s happy for me to manage the money as we always did (bar his personal budget) whereas I got into trouble with the budget last year as I was fed up being “bad cop” so I just stopped monitoring it all. 

2. Our new personal budgets will be £400 p/m for Red and £350 for me. We’re both happy with this. It’s silly me taking more, because I don’t spend it anyway and savings are better placed within our joint budget. It also reflects the fact that I work part time, which is a choice - I could increase my hours and earn the same as Red, but I have no desire to do that! 

(As a reminder, our personal budgets aren’t just for fun/blow/fritter money, they also pay for our phone bills, clothing, hobbies, socialising, date nights and gifts to each other, and would include haircuts if I didn’t cut everyone’s hair at home). 

3. We agreed that if either of us can increase our personal pot by earning money selling things or through side hustles and money earned this way is ours to keep (more likely to be Red - but as discussed I don’t need a bigger personal pot anyway).  

4. We also checked Red’s salary for the past 11 months (as far as records go back on his work system as it’s a newish system). His highest salary was £2,946 in June, which was heavily boosted by his six-monthly bonus. His lowest was £1,954 last month (when he had six days unpaid leave). Average across the year is £2,432. Knowing this will help me budget better. We’ve agreed that any amount he earns over £2,432 will be swept into a holding pot to fund lower-paid months so we can budget a consistent amount each month. 

5. We agreed that when we get the £6,000 in December, 50% will go for “wants” (a very much needed new mattress & bedding, then towards our holiday pot) and 50% will pay off any outstanding debt and feed the emergency fund. 

I think that was everything for the moment. A VERY productive conversation where I was very pleased that we both remained respectful of each other, positive and worked as a team. 

IN LESS GOOD NEWS…

The car is going to cost over £3k to fix (multiple faults including a bad oil leak necessitating taking the whole engine out to fix, the clutch and chain needing replaced and finally fixing the fan issue). Eurgh. It’s definitely important that we are both on the same page now, as we will need to be! 

Sarahwithlove

Great conversation and outcomes. It's good you can have such honest chats and support each other. 

That sucks about the car, can you arrange any kind of payment plan with the garage?