Children and a new father figure questions!

mishmash

There are no 'one size fits all' approach to introducing new father figure.

I thought I had got away quite easily, we went very slowly the kids were 3 and 4, they adored him. There were lots of arguments between us over the years due to different parenting styles but I am sure there would have been if he was their Dad.

When the kids began to hit the horrid teens, they then began to use the old "you can't tell me off, your not my Dad" card. Luckily we had expected this and I had my response prepared.

The kids see my O/H as the softer more fun one, he has much more patience with them than me, he has always sat helping them with their homework, fixed their bikes, acted as their taxi. They ask him if they want to stay out later or watch the end of a film after bedtime he usually negotiates their request with me.

So when they said this I told them they were compleetly right he was not their Dad and we had never pretended he was, however family is not a pick and mix and they must realise with the fixing of bikes the taxi service homework support and all else comes the right to tell them off when they step out of line, his role is as a carer and he tells them off because he loves them and wants them to grow. They accepted this and we are as happy (or not) as the next family.

Mish

findingmyownway

mishmash wrote: »

When the kids began to hit the horrid teens, they then began to use the old "you can't tell me off, your not my Dad" card. Luckily we had expected this and I had my response prepared.

The kids see my O/H as the softer more fun one, he has much more patience with them than me, he has always sat helping them with their homework, fixed their bikes, acted as their taxi. They ask him if they want to stay out later or watch the end of a film after bedtime he usually negotiates their request with me.

So when they said this I told them they were compleetly right he was not their Dad and we had never pretended he was, however family is not a pick and mix and they must realise with the fixing of bikes the taxi service homework support and all else comes the right to tell them off when they step out of line, his role is as a carer and he tells them off because he loves them and wants them to grow. They accepted this and we are as happy (or not) as the next family.

Mish

As and when (and i'm sure it will happen sooner or later!) i get the 'your not my mum' card thrown at me, this is exactly how we plan to deal with it