Separation

T.T.D

Personally I think your wife is taking the mick. 

Everything is counted 50/50, Your pension her pension, joint savings (which I would lock down with the bank as having permission from both parties to remove cash from), her savings and your savings her cash ISA. 

You can’t pay your child directly any child maintenance, it must be paid to her as per child maintenance rules, any payments to your child and not her is counted as an under payment through child maintenance scheme and they will come for it.

Get legal and stand strong 

Marvel1

Start using using own kitchen, living room and any other rooms (expect her bedroom) - it's your house too.  

Stateofart

You have a right to the entire house, put on your big-boy pants and start living.

In terms of spousal maintainance - this isn't the good ole US of A, it doesn't really happen in the UK. 

Stick to the gov. calculator.

Jemma01

Tell her, if she wants to play silly games, you'll ring HMRC and report the £100 she's not paying taxes on. If she wants to play stupid, you have the tools to outshine her. Either way the legal advisor will question this income. That hopefully will bring her off her high-horse to work with you without legal. She has no business asking for 60-40 of the house. Try to move quickly out of this, because the longer it drags, the more complicated. The more she sees you're afraid, the more she'll abuse that.

Ms_Chocaholic

CANCEL THE CREDIT CARD IMMEDIATELY, SHE COULD PUT THOUSANDS ON IT

elsien

I think they said the credit card was hers in her name so the OP does not have the option to cancel it. 

moneytorques

elsien said:

I think they said the credit card was hers in her name so the OP does not have the option to cancel it. 

But then certainly the option not to repay it too.

andyhobbs

Thank you for all your advice

i think i have been treading lightly in case there is a chance of us sorting this out, which is looking highly unlikely

i have emailed her this morning to say the certain times i will be using the house and she needs to consider this, and also i will only be paying half the household bills from now on. which financially is a great relief, as currently i am paying 90% of the total bills. its hard as she has been my life for 27 years and don't want to hurt her, yet she seems content to see me suffer, so why should i worry about how i make her feel, as someone said time to put my big boy pants on and take control 

Malthusian

andyhobbs said:

i have emailed her this morning to say the certain times i will be using the house and she needs to consider this, and also i will only be paying half the household bills from now on. 

The other option is to move out. Even a bedsit with a two ring hob would be more of a home. The cost would come out of the £2,000 per month you are currently paying her.

The kids are 17 or grown adults and can make up their own minds on your wife's attempts to turn them against you.

Jemma01 said:

Tell her, if she wants to play silly games, you'll ring HMRC and report the £100 she's not paying taxes on. 

That is blackmail and highly illegal. No, it doesn't make any difference whether the wife is also doing something illegal by fiddling her taxes. If she is then the OP is free to be an upstanding citizen and report her to HMRC. He is not free to extort money by threatening to report her to HMRC. Theft Act 1968 section 21.

Not only is it illegal, but blackmailing his wife is very likely to backfire on OP.

The OP also has not stated that they actually have any proof that the wife has not been filing tax returns.

andyhobbs

Thank you for all the responses 

i am saving some money to get legal advice, i have googled and cannot seem to find the answer for this

i want to split the bills 50-50 but i know this is going to be really tough for her, but things are tough for me as well, if i start paying 50-50 i can afford a bedsit, but i don't think she can afford the 50% of the bills, as a higher earner am i legally obliged to pay a bigger percentage, even though i know if she puts her cash in, she can afford it (dont want to bring this into consideration if i have to )