Tenant

Danien

 Never said you were slum landlord, gave example of behaviour by MY landlord who happened to be a slumlord. Please show where I called you a slumlord.

Noticing things and repairing them promptly is being a good landlord. 

But the way you described things at the beginning came across as unprofessional. You are there to be a landlord, not to judge her way of living, not to monitor her movements, not to try to be friendly with her children by buying them Easter eggs. Personally (maybe coloured by my previous experiences of bad landords) that is over the line of your responsibilities. If her children were obviously being mistreated - you witnessed it or saw bruising suggestive of mistreatment then would be something anyone would be extremely concerned about. If your property was being damaged beyond normal wear and tear then that WOULD be your concern.

In the meantime your attitude and concerns, combined with the previous thread make you appear to some reading as an unprofessional landlord. This is how you come across. 

Grumpy_chap

Old_Git said:

I probably hadn’t been in the house since I bought the children an Easter egg  until recently . 

 

That is quite unusual for a LL / Tenant relationship.
I am quite surprised any LL maintaining a purely professional relationship with the Tenant would buy the Tenant's children Easter Eggs or any other kind of gift.
I am sure you are well-intentioned, but it could also very easily appear as inappropriate behaviour.
Even if the gift is well received, gifting Easter Eggs can come with all sorts of potential catches - offence if it is not inline with the Tenant's religion, food allergies, dietary matters, may contradict the parent's desire with regard to sweets etc.

Old_Git said:

 

I didn’t need to snoop . When I was in the house the tenant asked me if I had change for the bus and she would transfer the money to me . I hadn’t change but told her I would drive her to work if she missed her bus ( creepy landlord offers lift )

Again, I am sure you are well-intentioned, but the "creepy landlord" interpretation is a real one that could arise here.
In this day and age it is all about protecting yourself from false claims as much as being a nice person.

Old_Git said:

 

Oh and the tenant who changed the locks installs windows and doors . I just didn’t like not having a key .  

There is no reason why, as LL, you should maintain a key or means of (authorised or unauthorised) access to the property while there is a Tenant is in residence.
I understand why it can be helpful to have this facility, in case of emergency.  Such real and genuine emergencies are very rare plus, the Tenant is expected to act in a "householder-like manner" (or such) so would be no more inconvenienced having to make arrangements for an emergency than an owner-occupier would.  As a LL for 20 years, I have never needed to attend in an emergency., or make access (or have a Tradesperson access) for any reason without the Tenant providing access.

Old_Git said:

It’s amazing that people judge me as a creepy slum landlord

There really is a need to keep a very professional distance between yourself (as LandLord) and the Tenant at all times.  
Your actions and caring for the Tenants does seem rather unusual and more than the majority would do.
I am sure you are wholly honourable and only act with good intentions, but the impression of poor professionalism is there simply from what you have said you have done.  
If we see this as unprofessional, and several contributors to this thread have read that, then you have to consider that it may be.

This is about protecting yourself as much as anything else.
Just consider, at some future point, you need to evict this Tenant and her children.  
She recalls some incidents:

Old_Git said:

I bought the children an Easter egg
 

The eldest child came down the stairs and said the mirror had come of the bathroom wall . 

I went up stairs to see what the problem was . 

The bedroom doors were all open on all visits . 

I didn’t need to snoop .

When I was in the house the tenant asked me if I had change for the bus and she would transfer the money to me . I hadn’t change but told her I would drive her to work if she missed her bus ( creepy landlord offers lift )
 

Then, the Tenant relays then to the court with menace:

 - LL was trying to groom my children, plying them with gifts and sweets which I had to take and throw away in disgust.
 - LL went up into the bathroom with my eldest child - I am so concerned about what happened in there.
 - The LL was looking into the bedrooms
 - LL tried to entice me into his car

I am sure none of these things happened in that way, but this is how things can be twisted.

A wholly professional approach would be better and protect yourself as well as maintaining the accommodation standard of the tenants.

Grumpy_chap

Old_Git said:

At no time did I say I was in the bathroom with the child .  But once again you are stating things that are not true . I offered a lift if she missed her bus as there is one bus every hour . The next bus would have her late for work .
its hard not to see into the bedrooms when the doors are open . 

At no time did I say you were in the bathroom with the child.

I did show how the events you described could be seen as unprofessional and twisted to give an impression even further removed from your intention.

Ultimately, we revert to the basic point that the way the Tenant lives and how tidy the house is kept is of no interest to the LL (unless the state is so poor it risks damage to the fabric of the building).

It is important that, as Landlord, you keep your actions professional at all times, and (perhaps just as importantly) are seen to act professionally and with probity at all times.

Perhaps the strongest indicator that the past actions may have drifted from wholly professional is this question having been asked in the "Marriage, Relationships & Families" area rather than ""Housebuying, Renting & Selling" where Landlord / Tenant queries might more logically reside.

Jemma01

I think if I were a landlord, I would ask that the house is tidied up so that you can get the opportunity to assess the situation of the house , not because of how she chooses to live her life. That's rather none of your business. All that is your business is the ability to do your job (ONCE PER YEAR, you don't need to be bothering them more often, esp after they lived there 8 years), and that is to assess damages in the house. From what you're saying, it sounds like you're able to assess the house, in which case, please mind your business, it is already stressful enough having a random stranger walking into our homes.

After 8 years, you don't need to see the carpet, you should be prepared to replace it. Same for the mattresses.

Malthusian

Old_Git said:

I probably hadn’t been in the house since I bought the children an Easter egg  until recently . 

That's not a reason to be in their home.  A knock on their door and a "Hello, Happy Easter, here's something for the kids, how are things, anyway bye" would do for most people, or just a package left outside the door. (Leaving aside the appropriateness of giving Easter Eggs to the children of people who are not your friends.)

Your wake up call should really have been three years ago when your tenant told you they changed the locks to keep you from harrassing them. Still, good news, now you've got another one. This is your chance to step back from the brink, ask yourself "am I out of touch, or is everyone I keep asking for advice wrong?", and save yourself a lot of money.

It’s amazing that people judge me as a creepy slum landlord  whose first language may not be English when I simply asked for advice . 

People are judging you based on the actions you have described.

The perception that your first language may not be English was a defence of you, not an attack. If your first language was not English your actions may be more understandable, as it might mean that things were being lost in translation, and that you do things that in another country would be normal and welcomed. If your first language is English it makes things worse. Your unconventional (but consistent) grammar suggests you do not care about how you come across to others, which is consistent with the way you are behaving as a landlord.

To give you some more benefit of the doubt, if the female tenant asked if she could borrow money for the bus, then it sounds like she is more comfortable with you than the male tenant who changed the locks. But continuing to invade their privacy and right to quiet enjoyment of their home is a good way to spoil that.