Just looking for some clarity on DMPs

sonnet72

So now I’ve officially missed 1 payment on one of my loans and received a ‘friendly’ reminder to hurry up and pay. By the end of this week I’m hoping all my new basic accounts are set up for important DD and benefit payments. 

My question now is can I go ahead and write to the creditors saying , I’ve only missed 1 payment or in 2 cases I’m about to miss a payment but I’m writing to you because going forwards I know I can’t afford any more? Then include all those points I’m going to make? 

Basically is it ok to write to them now , or wait until I’ve missed about 3 payments. 

I can’t see why writing to them now should be a problem

sonnet72

So Hastings direct called by mobile today and left a message to call them, in the first day of missed payment. 

One little part of me is thinking, call them, tell them everything and say a letter with all my evidence is to follow. 

But another part of me too scared to speak with them

RAS

The sensible part of you will avoid making phone calls to creditors. You are already nervous and their scripts are designed to wind you up.

There are a load of things that might legally happen, once a blue moon. If you don't take sensible independent advice. The problems are personal debts, not consumer debts, and it seems some credit unions. 

But that doesn't stop debt collectors subtly suggest that dire things will happen to you unless you start paying, lots, now.

You don't need that sort of pressure. You do need defaults and then to gradually get write offs. 

Being reactive is difficilt in this sort of situation. Is there anything (yoga, mediation, long walk, doing puzzles) that slows your mind down?

sonnet72

Thank you! I just needed that reminder not to act impulsively! 

Please can you answer my previous question about writing to my creditors sooner rather than later? I won’t be making any payment so heading towards default any way but I just want them to know….. I  just can’t pay

sonnet72

RAS said:

The sensible part of you will avoid making phone calls to creditors. You are already nervous and their scripts are designed to wind you up.

There are a load of things that might legally happen, once a blue moon. If you don't take sensible independent advice. The problems are personal debts, not consumer debts, and it seems some credit unions. 

But that doesn't stop debt collectors subtly suggest that dire things will happen to you unless you start paying, lots, now.

You don't need that sort of pressure. You do need defaults and then to gradually get write offs. 

Being reactive is difficilt in this sort of situation. Is there anything (yoga, mediation, long walk, doing puzzles) that slows your mind down?

Also what do you mean by the problems are personal debts and not consumer debt? 

RAS

When individual people have lent a friend money, or provided a service, they seem more likely to go for court action as they've comparatively more to lose and sometimes they just want to punish the debtor.

You are just a number to your creditors, like a million others.

sourcrates

Be calm, polite, be professional, and take your time, no rush here.

It`s also extremely important to do everything in writing only.

sonnet72

Cab said they don’t want to give me any advice because I’ve already spoken to PayPlan , I think that was a bit extreme but probably they wouldn’t have said anything different

Grumpelstiltskin

What more advice do you want?

You know what your next step should be - tell your husband.

sonnet72

I will. 

In my head the conversation goes like this: 

1. hey, I’ve accumulated over 60k debt, but don’t worry, I’m going to write to all of my creditors and ask them to simply write it all off….. it sounds unlikely but after doing some research and speaking to people who have dealt successfully with debt, it can work

or

2. Hey, I’ve accumulated over 60k debt, but don’t worry, I’m working with a debt management charity and they’re putting something called an IVA in place. I’ll explain it all but it basically means I pay what I can afford for 5/6 years and then the debt is written off. They will agree with my creditors that I can’t release equity on our home before I sign it. 

I think he will think I’ve gone gaa gaa if I suggest option 1 . 

i can’t just tell him about the debt without giving him something that will allow him to not fall apart or knee jerk seek a divorce