Money Moral Dilemma: Should my partner pay towards furnishing and decorating my new house?

primrose_penguin

The mortgage is in your name only, meaning the house belongs to you. I would not accept any help towards the mortgage keep paying it yourself to ensure it remains your house. However I would expect help with heating, food, council tax etc. as he cannot expect to live with you for nothing. Regarding the furnishing decorating etc. if he wants to contribute keep a note of who bought what and the receipts, then if unfortunately things don't work out and he wants to take the things he paid for, then that is fair enough. A similar thing happened to me after my parents died I bought a house with the money left to me plus a small mortgage, I wanted my then partner put on the mortgage but the mortgage company would not allow it and the house remains in my name only, which I can now see was the right thing to do. I also paid for most of the furniture even though he helped me choose it because at that time I had the money and he didn't, however my partner contributed towards all the household bills and being an older couple we both kept our own bank accounts and never had a joint account. We have been married for 24 years and it has never been a problem. Sadly he is now suffering from dementia and the fact that the house is in my name only gives me reassurance for the future. Good luck and I hope things work out well for you both.

RCN10

Florafauna said:

He should pay rent and a share of bills. As its your house and you are not married, the cost of furniture and decorating is down to you 

Florafauna said:

He should pay rent and a share of bills. As its your house and you are not married, the cost of furniture and decorating is down to you 

This could turn out to be bad advice. Typically any mortgage provider will ask for consent to the mortgage from anyone 18+ who is not party to the mortgage but will be living in the property. Should the relationship break up, paying rent could mean your partner has acquired a beneficial interest in the property and may have a legal right to force you to sell the property and/or give them a share of the proceeds.

IMHO you should inform yourself about the legal ramifications of your joint situation, including making a cohabitation agreement 

https://www.abacus-law.co.uk/blog/cohabitation-rights-when-partner-moves-into-your-property/

missymoo299

Sadly also in the same situation with a partner who has a DRO, luckily he couldn't go on the mortgage and things are not looking like we will stay together. Ultimately I think its doomed to failure as he is so unevenly matched with you. There will be resentment on your part as it will feel like he has disposable money and you are always working to pay for house stuff. I would simply get him to find his own place and if it works then it works but living together when you are so unevenly matched is going to test even the best relationships...just my thoughts!

missymoo299

Oh and never have a joint account with him as he will affect your credit rating and when you go to remortgage for a better deal you may not be offered anything. 

ffsno

Your obviously thinking about the relationship ending so NO. Just ditch him now so you can enjoy your own home as you want to. 

gothvixen

I had an IVA, not because I was financially irresponsible, but because my extremely abusive ex drank himself to death and had fraudulently taken out loans secured on our house. Be careful about making judgements about people. When you think adding lol to the end of a comment makes it funny, people will judge you.

Bonnypitlad said:

If he has an IVA he has proven that he is financially irresponsible so ensure he can not make any future claim to your property in the ( probable) event of a break up. 

That doesn’t mean he lives there free!, he should contribute 50% of food and utilities and pay “ rent “
Tell him you’re doing him a favour by him learning financial stability!
If you can get him to regularly contribute the above I wouldn’t insist on him contributing to furnishing and decorating 
He’s really just a tenant with benefits lol

onomatopoeia99

It's your house, you should pay for anything that improves or maintains its fabric, and not expect free labour.
You should also pay the mortgage and buildings insurance, as it's your house.
He should split utility bills, council tax and food with you.

If you accept money for the mortgage or as "rent" when he doesn't have a lockable bedroom for his sole use and a tenancy agreement protecting his occupancy (which if he did that would make you a landlord and the income from it potentially taxable), then some here will have it that he will be able to make a claim for a beneficial interest in the property arising from his contributions should you split up.  

Warwicker

Whatever you do keep your name alone on the deeds. But re the ongoing expenses there have been some excellent suggestions how your partner can contribute to the upkeep and decoration of the property. 
I suggest you study them and see what suits your circumstances best.
But do keep in mind that relationships can shift and change.

ButterBiscuitBase

My partner of 5 years lives in my house. But it's my house! My responsibility- I pay everything- mortgage, bills, food, renovation costs etc. I had to start again after getting divorced after 25 years, and never again would I share anything financial with anyone - no matter how much I love them.  I wanted there to be no doubt whatsoever that I pay for everything and my other half is entitled to none. This works for us - I don't feel like he's taking advantage as he pays for everything in his own home. What's his is his, and what's mine is mine. Please think careful financially and if you're in doubt air on the side of caution and finance everything yourself. 

Ed264

With respect, you've been with your partner four years and were well aware of his IVA commitments when you bought the house. Lucky you to be in a financial position to buy the house on your own. IVA's arise from people getting into serious financial difficulties for whatever reasons. Allow him the opportunity to resolve his money problems, then you can think about approaching him for more substantial financial contributions.