Money Moral Dilemma: How should my wife deal with sharing meal costs at her new job?

Ed264

When I read this, before looking at the responses, my thought was that these meals on frequent overnight stays should be on expenses - which is precisely what the first respondent said. We don't know how many colleagues are with your wife, but if several bottles of wine are being consumed between them on a regular basis..........

Hummybee

robatwork said:

Another MSE made-up cringe post. Please stop trying to drum up fake engagement.

Yet here you are, engaging!

Agent57

There seems to be two point here:

1) As it is a work meal, you should be able to claim some of it back or have an allowance.  But that probably won't stretch to £43.

2) The old chestnut of splitting bills equally.  This really drive me mad.  I am often a one course, one drink person.  But it is always those that order all the courses and extra drinks that want to split the bill equally.  I wouldn't quibble over a few pounds but often I end up paying £10 or even £20 pounds more than the unimpressive meal I had.

best to declare up front that you will only pay for what you consumed plus any service charge.....  Don't get me started on "service charge".  When the bill is split you are also effectively paying part of other peoples service charges too.

I could write a whole book on why I dislike dining out in large groups.

It should be mandatory for restaurants to offer the option of individual bills.

GrandmaJane007

It’s actually refreshing to see a dilemma that is ‘sensible’! So many of the dilemmas are ridiculous, mostly showing what bad relationships couples/friends have! In this case your wife should be upfront from the beginning, ie. now, and either suggest they pay their own tabs that restaurants are usually happy to do, or just pay your own amount from what you selected. Much better to talk to your colleagues at the start and maintain/build relationships with them. I notice someone said that she may be able to claim expenses as work related. Obviously worth investigating for the food. 

Missy15

I honestly do not understand why people split bills in this day and age. Everyone has different priorities for their money, and paying for others food and drink is not usually at the top of anyones list!
 In my group I sometimes have a more expensive item on the menu and a glass of wine simply because it's  a rare treat, my friend eats out a fair bit but to do that she usually has the cheapest option, and no wine.Its a social occasion, and shouldn't be stressful.
Nobody should be judged, and everyone should pay their own bill.
Tills are set up to break down a menu so though it's a little more time consuming at the end of the evening, Pay separately, but work it out at the table,and for those that don't drink a lot, again  order yours separately.

Neoma

Don’t wait for the bill.

After you’ve ordered, maybe between starter and main, nip to the loo and on the way back pay for your own meal and drinks at the desk.

When the joint bill comes “I’ve already paid”.

John_Gray

Sandwiches.  Just saying....

avenue12

I always got over this by putting my cash down on the table, but a tad harder now most places it's cards only!
We used to go out with friends and one couple ordered starter, steak,dessert,coffee n liquirs then cognac! Then suggested we split the bill! We put cash down for our bill and said must go our babysitter wants us!! We never saw that couple again!

PaulTee

problem with splitting the bill is bottles of wine are being ordered. But the OP speak up and tell them you will pay for what you had.

Mouseboy007

Sounds like the co-workers are knowingly taking the p*ss. If she doesn't want to confront/upset them, then definitely politely state at the start of the gathering before anything is ordered 'If you don't mind, I'll get my own tab as I'm not a big drinker or eater - or if there's a joint tab, I'll just keep note of what I've spent and make my contributions first before you split the remainder of the bill'.

Personally, I'd be questioning the others for not raising this themselves - they clearly wanted your wife to pay for their good time. I've been out with non-drinkers or people who will be eating just one course or are a little eater etc and if anyone asked to split the bill I'd jump in myself and make sure that the lower-consumption person isn't expected to pay for everyone else's good time! That tactic has often also endeared me to get a 'free taxi' from said non-drinker, so aside from the moral easing of conscience a financial win for me too