Money Moral Dilemma: How should my wife deal with sharing meal costs at her new job?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My wife started a new job that involves frequent overnight trips. On the first trip, she went out for a meal with her co-workers, most of whom had three courses and shared several bottles of wine. My wife's not a big eater or drinker, and had a starter, main and one beer, which cost £30. When the bill came, the others wanted to split it equally, £43 each. My wife paid it as she didn't want to come across as 'tight', yet meals like this are likely to be frequent, and at this rate she'll be significantly out of pocket. What would you do - say something, or accept paying more to keep in with new colleagues?

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coffee_cake

I would have thought that should be claimed on expenses.

horsewithnoname

I certainly wouldn’t have a problem with someone in a group who had significantly less paying for what they had rather than having an unfair share of the bill. If others take offence at not being subsidised that’s their problem. 

robatwork

Another MSE made-up cringe post. Please stop trying to drum up fake engagement.

Andy_L

coffee_cake said:

I would have thought that should be claimed on expenses.

and that answer should be the end of this thread

Hoenir

The Company concerned should have clear explicit expenses policy. £43 for an evening meal would be considered excessive. The drinks bill almost certainly not claimable. Even if it was. Would foul of the HMRC. 

Andy_L

Hoenir said:

The Company concerned should have clear explicit expenses policy. £43 for an evening meal would be considered excessive. The drinks bill almost certainly not claimable. Even if it was. Would foul of the HMRC. 

Claiming alcohol or not is an internal company policy matter. HMRC have no opinion one way or the other - except for their own staff where CS policy bans it

Equally on lavish expenses HMRC only care if it "is genuinely attributable to business travel [and not] for example, some sort of reward" and they will not disallow a meal simply "simply because a less expensive alternative is available."

ETA and if it's just being charged to the client who cares what HMRC think

nev.obrady

Don't dine with them.

LAMBS60

I think that you can say , I’ll pay for mine separately if you don’t mind , as I just had …… 
It should really have occurred to them , it’s like choosing a burger when everyone else has fillet steak or a beer when everyone else has cocktails and wine . You need to tell them or you won’t be able to break the pattern . Set meals are a good option “ I’ll just have 2 courses “

Flugelhorn

often happens with co-workers, need to make it clear from the first time that you won't be paying for the wine or just say "well mine came to .... £ X " - they are hardly likely to insist that she pays for their shares too 

Shortlands_Shopper

I would suggest to the waiter or waitress you would like to pay separately so have your own tab, this way you get a receipt and can claim directly in line with company policy for food when working away from home / office. The colleagues cannot be claiming anything back if splitting the bill, so whole scenario makes no sense really.