Credit card debt

sparks_2023

Better just let one of the debts default before payment, then that would likely cut off any new credit for 6 years as a welcome side effect.

Clearly, this is the nuclear option. Don't do this if a mortgage application is envisaged in the next 6 years, and if there are any official financial links between you then the impact may hit you both ( for the 6 years ).

enthusiasticsaver

bargainhunter121 said:

Enthusiastic saver it's me on the lower wage as I'm part time. We discussed a dmp with a charity and a company that offers them today, both said his income was too high to qualify. I discussed a consolidated (unsecured) loan with them also, neither could officially say if it was a good option but I explained my concerns with keeping the debt on the cards and they understood. In the end we went with the loan, not a great Apr as you'd expect but it's better than the cards and at least it's a fixed amount each month. I've give him a budget of £100 (after costs) to live on and the rest will go In a savings account that I can see for future overpayments on the loan. He won't be allowed any cards for the foreseeable and I've cut the ones he had up. Drastic but required. He knows if this happens again, he's out, hopefully he'll learn his lesson. Thanks for the help all. 

Apologies. I just saw first income and assumed it was yours as OP. Is your husband actually on board with this plan of allocating him monthly spends? I suggest he closes the cards once they are paid off and that a regular check to make sure he is not taking on new debt would be advisable. 

sparks_2023

I echo that now you have the loan then the credit card accounts have to be shut.

I once cut up a card, and then a replacement arrived unexpectedly one day in the post. Thank you God! All my Christmases have arrived! Punch the air!

I don't want to assume that your husband is a secret gambler - as that is an unfair leap with no evidence - but, covering that base, a secret gambler would pretty soon be on a secret phone call to order a replacement for the "lost card". 'Oh, it just came through the post.'

I'm glad you now have a way forward.

bargainhunter121

Thanks everyone for your help though the past few days x

THX

prettyandfluffy said:

bargainhunter121 said:

He says he's on board, has given me his cards and won't be using them/applying for more. It's hard to trust regardless. I'm not sure he understands how bad it is tbh. 

As @Emmia has indicated, you need to be sure that no more spending can be made on those cards.  That means deleting them from all apps and online sites such as ApplePay or GooglePay, PayPal, Amazon, EBay etc etc.  If you can get a balance transfer card it might be better to just close the card accounts that are currently problematic.  Also, make sure there is no spending on any balance transfer cards you do get, mixing balance transfers and spending causes all kinds of expensive headaches.

I would try to change his password on the apps too. Ideally to something that he'll never guess.

sparks_2023

THX said:

prettyandfluffy said:

bargainhunter121 said:

He says he's on board, has given me his cards and won't be using them/applying for more. It's hard to trust regardless. I'm not sure he understands how bad it is tbh. 

As @Emmia has indicated, you need to be sure that no more spending can be made on those cards.  That means deleting them from all apps and online sites such as ApplePay or GooglePay, PayPal, Amazon, EBay etc etc.  If you can get a balance transfer card it might be better to just close the card accounts that are currently problematic.  Also, make sure there is no spending on any balance transfer cards you do get, mixing balance transfers and spending causes all kinds of expensive headaches.

I would try to change his password on the apps too. Ideally to something that he'll never guess.

Easily got round by the "forgot password" facility.

Anyway, I'm not sure these sort of actions are particularly conducive to a happy relationship going forward. Then again it is not my life so it's not my place to advise. Lol.

EssexHebridean

I'm glad you  have found a workable option at the moment that you feel comfortable with - however, I agree with those saying that you still need to work the finances out properly between you. He's a grown adult - for you to be giving him "pocket money" like a child isn't a workable long term strategy, however, him being untrustworthy with money to the extent that it is affecting the household finances is ALSO not workable long term!

I do completely agree also with those saying that he needs to be very transparent with you in relation to showing you the CC statements so you are clear what the cause of the debt actually is. I would say though - be very sure that you are prepared to see whatever is there - it could be takeaways etc as he has suggested (IIRC?) but it could also be gambling, or (p)orn, or... if you aren't sure that you are prepared to see something you don't like, then hold off on that one for the time being. 

Definitely get cards closed as soon as they are clear. He needs to agree that he will remove the apps from his phone IMO - and that includes the takeaway apps. He needs to also take the cards out of his phones "virtual wallet" so they can't be used without the physical card.  I would also suggest that he needs to agree that right now, credit of any sort is a "no go" for him - and that is going to be ongoing for a good while to come. 

Bizzywizard

I am going to come from a different place than the people above,

My husband late one night came into the bedroom sweating and was in a mess. He sat down and said he was in circa £19k worth of debt. He was always one for moving cards from 0% to 0%. He had then realised no one was offering those deals anymore to him, plus he had defaulted on a few too!

I wasn't angry with him, I was more hurt that he felt he was suffering alone. I was his wife/partner, so we were going to fix it together! Your HUSBAND, has confessed to you, needing your help and guidence, be the wife he needs you to be.

I told my husband, go to sleep and we will sort this out the next evening (we were both working full time the next day).
I read so much from MSE website that evening and got to work!

I took on a few 0% money transfer cards. I split the debt by the 26 months allowance and worked our finance backwards. This debt just became another DD.

We also stopped my husbands bank account as that was his biggest overdraft debit with HSBC. We fed that account untill with his new bank account ( salary paid into a new account, he was in the black and loved it) untill it cleared 6 months later. That was a huge relief!

I also took a £2k interest free Nationwide overdraft (for one year only) This gave us some breathing room.

It took 3 years to clear, the whole debit, I now check our account/spreadsheet daily).

We now have a joint bank account, I have a halifax clarity card he has a card attached to this. All the DD go out of the joint account and other stuff goes on the credit card, that gets paid off each month. We also save £300 a month each.

It can be done, but takes time. My husband was not a gambler, he did coffee and cake (£100 a month) That stopped...his mum thought I was awful! We also don't smoke and gave up drinking for more than a year, to save money.

Be kind to your husband, he will be going through hell. I would be paying off his debts, you have savings, See MSE webpage about credit card debt, Martin states to pay off debit with savings. 

HOPE THIS HELPS