Credit card debt

bargainhunter121

Mfwannabe, unfortunately it won't entirely be £910 from July as its partially paid by uc (which varies quite a bit from month to month) usually is roughly 460 p/m paid by uc, however once the childcare costs go we most likely won't be entitled to anything again so it'll approximately be £450 extra from July. Its hard for me to do the soa, some of the things just don't apply. Should I redo it with only his finances? We split the benefits as in I get the child benefit and dla for our son as I pay his therapy/food/any clothes/sensory items/toys for both kids and he gets the uc and pays the rest of the childcare costs, he has no savings and I do (at the moment). The car insurance and tax on my car I've paid off (annual), the insurance on his car is paid monthly by him, fuel costs I top either car up when needed and him less so, but does occasionally. Any repairs/ to either car or house that crop up we usually split  50/50 (as I thought he had some money in his account as I do). I haven't had a great month myself though as I've had to pay for a private health care for my son (we both have health insurance but our kids aren't covered) so that was an extra £235 for me. Prescriptions are usually free, however his cost £8 so far. He'll need a review a appointment in 4 weeks which will be £185 (now paid by me again), we've ordered a new gate for the house as the cost was subsidised so I'll get my deposit back on that this month but will still have £300 to pay once its ready and fitted....I just wasn't prepared for him to tell me he's nearly £20k in debt. There's only so much my finances can shoulder.

Emmia

bargainhunter121 said:

Mfwannabe, unfortunately it won't entirely be £910 from July as its partially paid by uc (which varies quite a bit from month to month) usually is roughly 460 p/m paid by uc, however once the childcare costs go we most likely won't be entitled to anything again so it'll approximately be £450 extra from July. Its hard for me to do the soa, some of the things just don't apply. Should I redo it with only his finances? We split the benefits as in I get the child benefit and dla for our son as I pay his therapy/food/any clothes/sensory items/toys for both kids and he gets the uc and pays the rest of the childcare costs, he has no savings and I do (at the moment). The car insurance and tax on my car I've paid off (annual), the insurance on his car is paid monthly by him, fuel costs I top either car up when needed and him less so, but does occasionally. Any repairs/ to either car or house that crop up we usually split  50/50 (as I thought he had some money in his account as I do). I haven't had a great month myself though as I've had to pay for a private health care for my son (we both have health insurance but our kids aren't covered) so that was an extra £235 for me. Prescriptions are usually free, however his cost £8 so far. He'll need a review a appointment in 4 weeks which will be £185 (now paid by me again), we've ordered a new gate for the house as the cost was subsidised so I'll get my deposit back on that this month but will still have £300 to pay once its ready and fitted....I just wasn't prepared for him to tell me he's nearly £20k in debt. There's only so much my finances can shoulder.

Could you cut out the health insurance and private care for your son? It's not fair really but I can't see how those costs are affordable if the family (your husband);has £20k of debt.

sparks_2023

bargainhunter121 said:

I'm broken here. When he told me the total on the barclays card was £7010, he says now he doesn't know where he got that from and how it's actually 10k. He must've got confused....my heads spinning here. He has aspergers so I'm sure that's a factor in all this somehow, but we're still stuck in this mess. Is it still possible to clear this debt without a loan or secured loan? I'm struggling to see how as the minimum payments are now over 600 so he'll only have around 3-400 as an overpayment over 3 cards p/month at the minute anyway. I'm drained from all this.

A lot of people find it incredibly hard to admit actual real debt levels ("I'm in trouble but it will be less trouble if I 'round down' the figures" is very beguiling.)
It is quite common to significantly "under estimate" negative balances when "confessing" and admitting to debt issues.

So, in my opinion, the best thing to do is ( in as nice a way as possible ) work towards getting a copy of at least 1 of his free credit reports. It will be there in black and white with no ambiguity.

I suspect there is some hidden issue still - whether that is gambling or recurring payday loans we can only guess - and might be very wrong. Most Payday loans will show up on the credit report.

Painful personnal experience has taught me that high interest debt spirals are easiest to stop at the start.

backinbusiness

Hi @bargainhunter121

You sound incredibly angry and reactive (and I'm sure I'd feel the same).
I also totally understand why you wouldn't want to settle this yourself - nor would I.
Apologies if I've missed it but might a DMP be the way forward for your husband?

Most importantly, and you don't have to post on here but do you 1. Know why the debt was built up and 2. Have you taken steps to ensure it can't continue to increase.

You sound poleaxed by all this, but with time and a little calm, there will be a way out that works for your family.

Good luck and keep asking questions.  BiB x 

Emmia

sparks_2023 said:

bargainhunter121 said:

I'm broken here. When he told me the total on the barclays card was £7010, he says now he doesn't know where he got that from and how it's actually 10k. He must've got confused....my heads spinning here. He has aspergers so I'm sure that's a factor in all this somehow, but we're still stuck in this mess. Is it still possible to clear this debt without a loan or secured loan? I'm struggling to see how as the minimum payments are now over 600 so he'll only have around 3-400 as an overpayment over 3 cards p/month at the minute anyway. I'm drained from all this.

A lot of people find it incredibly hard to admit actual real debt levels ("I'm in trouble but it will be less trouble if I 'round down' the figures" is very beguiling.)
It is quite common to significantly "under estimate" negative balances when "confessing" and admitting to debt issues.

So, in my opinion, the best thing to do is ( in as nice a way as possible ) work towards getting a copy of at least 1 of his free credit reports. It will be there in black and white with no ambiguity.

I suspect there is some hidden issue still - whether that is gambling or recurring payday loans we can only guess - and might be very wrong. Most Payday loans will show up on the credit report.

Painful personnal experience has taught me that high interest debt spirals are easiest to stop at the start.

I think the OP needs both credit reports and the statements for the last  6 months to see where the money has gone - is it deliveroo, or is it the gee gees, or perhaps OnlyFans...

enthusiasticsaver

Definitely don’t do a secured loan. 

Why is his income so low? Does he work full time? 

Your income is double his so if you do separate finances really you should be adding up all household expenses (not including his debt if you feel this has been incurred by him personally rather than family as a whole) and then agreeing a monthly contribution from each of you after the benefits have been taken into account. As you earn double his income you should pay two thirds and he pay one third. If he is shouldering a similar financial burden to you on half the income then it is unsurprising he is in debt. The wasteful spending of course is another matter and only by going through bank statements will you see if that £20k debt has happened due to uncontrolled spending by him or due to the fact his income is insufficient to cover the outgoings he covers. 

As someone else said maybe a DMP in his name would set an affordable repayment for him, freeze the interest and effectively cut him off from credit due to defaults showing on his file. 

Brenster

Is he gambling ? 

RAS

I think his income is the higher one, and she works part-time.

bargainhunter121

Enthusiastic saver it's me on the lower wage as I'm part time. We discussed a dmp with a charity and a company that offers them today, both said his income was too high to qualify. I discussed a consolidated (unsecured) loan with them also, neither could officially say if it was a good option but I explained my concerns with keeping the debt on the cards and they understood. In the end we went with the loan, not a great Apr as you'd expect but it's better than the cards and at least it's a fixed amount each month. I've give him a budget of £100 (after costs) to live on and the rest will go In a savings account that I can see for future overpayments on the loan. He won't be allowed any cards for the foreseeable and I've cut the ones he had up. Drastic but required. He knows if this happens again, he's out, hopefully he'll learn his lesson. Thanks for the help all. 

Emmia

bargainhunter121 said:

Enthusiastic saver it's me on the lower wage as I'm part time. We discussed a dmp with a charity and a company that offers them today, both said his income was too high to qualify. I discussed a consolidated (unsecured) loan with them also, neither could officially say if it was a good option but I explained my concerns with keeping the debt on the cards and they understood. In the end we went with the loan, not a great Apr as you'd expect but it's better than the cards and at least it's a fixed amount each month. I've give him a budget of £100 (after costs) to live on and the rest will go In a savings account that I can see for future overpayments on the loan. He won't be allowed any cards for the foreseeable and I've cut the ones he had up. Drastic but required. He knows if this happens again, he's out, hopefully he'll learn his lesson. Thanks for the help all. 

Close the accounts, don't just cut the cards up as the card numbers will still be available for spending on. 

I'd suggest a monthly show and tell of the credit files so you can be sure he's not opened new cards too.