Redemption - The journey of a recovering gambling addict.

Lonelygambler

I’ve cleared over 6k in 15 months but I feel so flat. 

Had a head wobble today and was looking at gambling sites, thankfully I didn’t act because I can’t with bank blocks etc. 

Wife is sad because a lot of our friends are on holiday in the sun and we’re not because we can’t afford to go and I refuse to pay on a credit card. 

Gambling has taken more than my money is has taken too many opportunities. 

LG 

AnotherNewDay

It's normal to have ups and downs...hope this passes soon for you LG. You have done great so far!

mark55man

Belt and braces - 99% of the time you have got this with you positive attitude, but the 1% when you are wobbling you have set defence mechanisms that give you a second chance to be good. 

I think I said before that a year in is the worst time  for debt clearance - its been so long already and you still have a way to go.  If it is chafing then maybe try and do a few more things just to keep everyone happy - rather do that then have a crash or build resentment

Lonelygambler

Evening. 

Attended therapy today. Had a pretty long extended session, left feeling exhausted today. 

Then went for a long run, which has made me even more tired, ha. 

The weight of the gambling is heavy and although not gambling I do not feel any sense of achievement at the moment. 

Just gotta take it one day at a time. One hour, one breath. 

LG

AnotherNewDay

Hope you're doing ok @Lonelygambler

mark55man

Thank you AND - yes hope you are OK - its often difficult to find new stuff to say. A year of CC busting is a long long time and everything seems so repetitive.  But do check in once in a while if you can

Lonelygambler

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads who show up and fight the daily battles. 

I see you LG 

OldTimer2023

Hey LG!

Ahh man, I had a real wobble last month too.  Felt really hopeless, and nobody to blame but myself.

Thankfully I was able to pull myself out of it, and I'm feeling better and back on track now.

I really wish that I had some wise words of wisdom or some tips or hacks to share but, honestly, I've just accepted that every now and then I get a bit down, and sometimes it just feels like the sky is falling down on me.

Thankfully, I also know that these moments pass, and I'm happy to report that I'm already in the light at the end of the tunnel - and you will be here with me soon enough too.

One of my best mates had some really serious substance addictions back in the day, and he shared the HALT framework with me.

Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

I sometimes use it as a bit of a checklist when I feel down, to see if there are any 'easy fixes' to bring me back on track.  I added an extra T too (for 'Tight'), because sometimes I can be a proper miser when I feel like I need to 'control' the world around me, and in the long run it never helps.

Just remember we're all here with you mate.

Happy Father's Day!
Old Timer

Middle_Aged_Guy

Lonelygambler said:

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads who show up and fight the daily battles. 

I see you LG 

Hello LG,

Ive been following yours and many others Debt free diaries for some time, but never actually posted anything.
This comment resonated so much to me that i felt the need to reply. 

Its been just over a year seperated from my Wife and i have 3 beautiful children that i try and give my all for, every other weekend when i have them. 

For the past 15 years or so i have struggled with gambling and although wasn't the reason for our seperation, it certainly wouldn't have helped.

Although i feel i have the addiction under control, i know just how easy a relapse can happen. Similar to you, i have lots of dept to clear and i have never been more focused to do so. 

We can and will do this LG. 

M.A.G.

Lonelygambler

Pay day tomorrow - Salary in and debt payments made. 

Finding everything a bit crap at the moment. The only saving grace is my wonderful family. 

I’ve be tracking my every day spend to the penny and it’s been insightful and I have banned myself from any snacks at Tesco. I am allowed one meal deal a week. 

If I’ve worked my budget out I should be able to make an overpayment of £800 towards my Lloyds card. 

No gambling to report nearly 16-17 months now. 

Thanks for all the check ins.