My partner's son - legal arrangements if she dies

Savvy_Sue

Just to say that as you're not married, as well as wills, Powers of Attorney would be a really good idea. And hers should have details about caring for her son, should she be incapacitated.

TheBanker

Savvy_Sue said:

Just to say that as you're not married, as well as wills, Powers of Attorney would be a really good idea. And hers should have details about caring for her son, should she be incapacitated.

That is a good shout - thank you. 

Spendless

At his age what arrangements are suitable it they become needed will be fluid. Until he takes his GCSEs staying at the same school would be best, post 16 would depend on what they're doing. Both mine went to FE collages, one the nearest one, the other in order  to access a better course to one 40 miles away. At 18+ they both moved away and were only back home outside of term time. Opening up the conversation to 'what ifs' is sensible. Glad you've had a chat about it. 

TheBanker

Spendless said:

At his age what arrangements are suitable it they become needed will be fluid. Until he takes his GCSEs staying at the same school would be best, post 16 would depend on what they're doing. Both mine went to FE collages, one the nearest one, the other in order  to access a better course to one 40 miles away. At 18+ they both moved away and were only back home outside of term time. Opening up the conversation to 'what ifs' is sensible. Glad you've had a chat about it. 

Yeah, he hopes to go to university - he's got a specific career in mind which needs a degree. But when I was 14 I had a specific career in mind which is nothing like the one I ended up with. And I think that's true for most people.

We don't really have any firm practical plans, but when I spoke to him last night he said his fear was being put in a childrens' home. The thought of potentially having to change schools, or move away from his friends hadn't entered his mind I don't think. I hope that I was able to reassure him that if the worst happened, we could work through the next steps together and I wouldn't simply abandon him to the social services. 

He stayed at my house last night, and my partner went out with some of her work colleagues. It's the first night out she's had for ages as she's normally worried about getting home to her son. When I dropped him off about an hour ago, she was still in bed nursing a hangover... yet somehow I'm in trouble for letting her son stay up until midnight! 

Savvy_Sue

Actually, there are now very few 'homes': foster care is more common. But reassuring him that it shouldn't come to that will hopefully help.