Money Moral Dilemma: Is it OK if I choose to sell something to a woman rather than a man?

Maat

It's your home. Of course you can dictate who is allowed in it. If you're having a total stranger on the premises it makes sense to ensure your own safety. Men aren't necessarily a danger to women but they're the principal danger to us. Men are often dismissive of our fears but ALL women know the lengths we have to go to in order to protect ourselves.

I hope a woman customer comes forward soon. Another possibility might be for you to donate it to a charity - either where they could sell it or one which helps homeless people furnish a house or flat when they get one. Good luck.

zagfles

ambioni said:

This reminded me of the situation where people selling their homes do their own viewer show-rounds...when my partner and I (both of us males) were house hunting 9 years ago we saw a lot of houses where we were shown round by a woman on their own, in one case with a baby and in another the lady was in her 80s. I always hope they felt safe and secure and we always did our best to put them at their ease but it did cross my mind that this was a vulnerable position to put themselves in, because you never know who's going to show up and it would be easy to give a false name and details to an estate agent. I suppose if you were worried you'd have a friend or relative join you or ask the agent to do it.....chillingly of course we all know what happened to Suzy Lamplugh in this situation.

We do all indeed know - but the fact that we can remember the name of someone this happened to decades ago just demonstrates how rare it is. If it was a common occurrence we wouldn't remember names of strangers it happened to 20+ years ago. Any more than we'd remember the name of someone who got killed in a car crash if we didn't know them personally, because it happens to over a thousand people each year.

Men are actually far more likely to be victims of violence at the hands of a stranger, yet women fear it more. Probably because the mainstream media go into overdrive whenever it happens to a woman, but hardly mention it when it happens to a man.

JMSH87

Not only is this horribly sexist (if a man had put this about a woman he would be digitally burned at the stake!) but are you actually saying all women are 100% non violent, no chance of being abusers and in no way a threat to you?! 

And please do tell how these men that you are so afraid of would know you are a vulnerable woman at terrible risk of harm should one be unfortunate enough to cross your threshold?!

SHAME ON YOU

Signed from: A very trustworthy non violent male with no intentions of harming the female race  

Darcy4

I get this as I feel the same… but she could send a man to collect…

tindella

I would accept the best offer - and when whoever comes to collect it, make sure you are not in on your own. Try and establish a time when they will be coming.  Get a friend or neighbour to be there. 

BethP

Imo you’re doing yourself out of a sale by restricting a purchaser to be male.  I would ensure I had a friend in my house with me when the potential buyer came to view the laminated flooring

Scillydiver

I quite often buy/sell/give away/collect items on Gumtree and Freecycle. Its nearly always a doorstep collection irrespective of whether or not cash changes hands either way, and more often than not, the person I deal with is female, especially during weekday collections. I always agree beforehand with the other person, when it best suits them to arrange viewing and collection. I've never been told by anyone that they will only deal with a female, but have bought and sold cars for one of my daughters as she has the same concern you have, particularly when a test drive is involved. Sensible suggestions have been made about having a friend with you if you are uncomfortable dealing with unknown males' especially as the heavy DIY item you are offering as already observed, is more likely to be purchased by a male. I've sometimes found that females advertise or respond to adverts, but a male actually handles the collection, particularly for more expensive goods when haggling or heavy items are involved.

In short, don't stipulate "female purchasers only", but ensure someone is with you when you make the sale.   

kimwp

Maat said:

It's your home. Of course you can dictate who is allowed in it. If you're having a total stranger on the premises it makes sense to ensure your own safety. Men aren't necessarily a danger to women but they're the principal danger to us. Men are often dismissive of our fears but ALL women know the lengths we have to go to in order to protect ourselves.

I hope a woman customer comes forward soon. Another possibility might be for you to donate it to a charity - either where they could sell it or one which helps homeless people furnish a house or flat when they get one. Good luck.

I think this is the key point - you're not really discriminating who you will sell it to, but who you are willing to give your address and take the risk of opening your door to. 

primrose_penguin

If you are nervous about a stranger coming to collect the flooring, arrange a day and time for them to call and ask a neighbours husband or friend to be with you when they arrive to view and hopefully buy it.

Simonne15

Too often we (male or female) can be too focussed on the 'fairness' principle. In such a case as this where your own security is an important factor you must go with your original decision putting your own safety first.