Money Moral Dilemma: Is it OK if I choose to sell something to a woman rather than a man?

bikaga

You can sell to whomever you want. 

I don't usually have men collecting if I'm home on my own, either. Not sure if your friend is male, but if they are, then they might just not understand a woman's safety concerns.

If I collect somewhere unfamiliar I'll usually take my husband along though, so even if a woman offers, you might end up getting a couple or a man at the door. I suppose if someone was out to target you, then they might pretend to be a woman... there's no way to be 100% safe unless you swap in a public place and/or with others present.

But yes, absolutely up to you to decide not to sell to a man. I recently sold something to a guy who appeared pushier than I liked, asked for my phone number, etc. Turned out he was just a bit older and preferred phones over messages online, but he also did step into the corridor without being asked to enter, and my husband ended up forming a very efficient barrier until I got the item. (In fairness to him it was terrible weather and I probably would've asked him in if he'd waited for it, but if I'd been alone at home that would've been very uncomfortable.)

donsaul

You perceive it as a safety issue. That trumps all other considerations. As evidence I cite the A.A. who attend single women before single men when both have broken down, independently.
You may, however, not get the woman turning up, she could send her man? So, make it a condition of collection, but, not necessarily purchase, that a woman comes to collect?

Windsorcastle

blobby123ff said:

To all the people saying she's allowed to only sell to women. Turn the tables and ask yourself is a man okay to only sell items to men only?
I have a weight lifting set can I only sell to men or would you get annoyed? 

Oh dear, you’re missing the point.  The OP isn’t discriminating, she’s saying she’s worried about a strange man turning up at her home where she lives alone.  It’s about her safety.  And regardless of that, a private seller can actually sell to whomever they choose, for whatever reason.  I don’t sell to the first taker if they are rude or ask stupid questions when they contact me.  So you can indeed do what you like with your weights, no one cares. 

bikaga

blobby123ff said:

To all the people saying she's allowed to only sell to women. Turn the tables and ask yourself is a man okay to only sell items to men only?
I have a weight lifting set can I only sell to men or would you get annoyed? 

You're missing the point. If a man said to me that he had bad experience with violence from women and he'd only want to sell to men, I'd back him up. Your example implies that only men can lift weights which is quite frankly inane and designed to cause a reaction, but unfortunately it's also pretty see through. It's clear from her post that she's not refusing to sell to men because she doesn't like them, but because she's worried as a woman living alone that someone who's likely taller and heavier may force entry, steal from her or worse. If that's a laughing matter to you then a "moral dilemma" section maybe isn't the right place to spend your time in.

wy9n99wwf

Your friend has a misguided sense of "unfair". Don't let her/his irrational view make you feel guilty. Do what is right for you. I'm a man, and understand completely - looking at tne posts, most here do too. I like the suggestion of having someone else present when collection is due, and another suggestion as to interpretation of "I" and "we".

No, not unfair in the least.

lakesider52

Of course it's not OK. How would you feel if you wanted to buy an item but the vendor said they will sell only to a man?

kbskylady

As one MSE reader commented, it's your item so you can do as you please. However, I imagine more men than women will be interested as blokes tend to do more DIY, it's just a fact of life, and you may have had interest from builders too. As you have no transport of your own, might a friend be willing to lend a hand and drive the stuff to a neutral location for the exchange, if they have a suitable vehicle to transport it in? I'd be inclined to have someone with you in any case, whether the buyer calls round or you get the items taken to a neutral place for them to collect. That way, you have a witness to the sale and money changing hands (I assume you are doing this via cash?). And remember that women can be dodgy, too, so don't assume a female purchaser will be unproblematic; also she might turn up with a guy in tow to help load the stuff into their vehicle. In any event, I'd offer the buyer a receipt, which you date and sign. It's what I've done when I've sold the odd thing via Facebook Market Place, for example. That ought to keep everyone happy. As long as it is 'sold as seen' then the buyer ought not have any issues post sale. Good luck.

Hazel29

I also live alone and when I give things away or sell online I don't let anyone into my home.  I either have the goods on the dorrstep or in my garage with the door fully open.  As one person mentioned even if your sell to a woman a man may come to collet.  I've certainly found that to happen.  Thankfully everyone I've dealt with have been fine.

Agent57

"  Thankfully everyone I've dealt with have been fine. "

Fear of crime is far worse than the reality. You are far more likely to be scammed (by a man or woman) than attacked.

Just take the sensible precautions mentioned by others.

medievalbiker

You are free to sell to whom ever you wish as a private individual.  If you are concerned about security say in the ad that you will need to see and check identification before and when they come to collect.