Money Moral Dilemma: Is it OK if I choose to sell something to a woman rather than a man?

Kerri23gan

Ask a friend to be around when item is being collected 

SandyShores

I tend to get items ready for collection i.e. right by the front door so that they don't have to come into the house - they can have a look, handover payment and then load up.  I put a table in the garden once on a dust sheet just before collection time.  It makes it quicker, you never know who is going to turn up and I'd prefer to not have strangers in the house.

Cloth_of_Gold

If your main priority is to get rid of it rather than get some money for it you could use something like Love Junk or TipTapp.  With these, if it's something reusable people will often take of free of charge and as no money will be changing hands you could just leave it outside the front door and they could take it when they arrive without even meeting you.

Zabadak!

I can totally understand your concern. I was selling an item on Facebook marketplace & a guy was interested. I'd had a couple of messages off him & all seemed fine & I said I'd give him my full address when he was setting off. I then started getting rude & suggestive messages off him & blocked him. Luckily he didn't have my address.
It was another kindly, elderly man that eventually bought my stuff, I told him what had happened & he said I should have just told the first guy he couldn't have afforded me anyway.

Ictmims

The choice is entirely up to you. Firstly, I would try to return the item to the retailer - if bought from a shop of course.

trooperdore

It's up to you who you feel comfortable with, but I agree that people will often send someone else to collect something that you might not have control over.

I'm a single woman and regularly sell items on Gumtree etc that people have picked up.  I always arrange for a daytime collection if possible and never let anyone in the house, I always hand over the item at the front door.  If it's not raining I might find something to do in the front garden at pickup time and have the item with me so that when they arrive we can do an exchange without the need to even unlock the door.  Another option might be asking if any good friends/family would be wiling to have someone collect from their house instead, I've done that for an elderly neighbour before.  Or meeting somewhere public, busy and covered by CCTV, e.g. near a supermarket entrance, although for high value items that might look a bit suspicious to a buyer.

Another tactic I use regularly is putting the item in my car and parking it outside the house on the road, rather than the driveway.  When they call I can say I've just picked it up from storage for them and take them out onto the road to do the exchange at the boot of the car, where there's more people around.  No one's ever batted an eyelid.  I also don't advertise listings with my full name, only a shortened neutral-gendered name so that people don't know who they're dealing with at first. 

In any case, I've done dozens of face-to-face transactions over the years and never had a problem (apart from the time-wasters who don't show up).  Most crimes are opportunistic though, so it's always basic common sense to give someone as few opportunities for dodgy shenanigans as possible.  The same way as I wouldn't walk around with my purse visible inside an open bag.  

Seakay

No retailer is obliged to sell to anyone, why should you be? If you have time to wait then do so, safety first always. People always make choices about who to sell second hand items to, very few do first come first served. 

Windsorcastle

Amblewin said:

Unlikely to guarantee that a woman will collect, even if she requests the item. I always say "we live" rather than "I live" when giving a buyer my address.  Never give the impression that you live alone. 

Yes, I do the same.  You can usually judge whether someone is a genuine buyer if their initial messages are polite & literate.  I just ignore abrupt/impolite messages.  Then if you do agree collection, always arrange it for daylight hours (I’ve had people ask to collect at 10pm, not happening!), and whatever time is agreed, say “My husband or I will be there at that time.” Also, I never give the actual address until the day of collection and after they have confirmed they are still collecting. Several times, I had people really pushing for the address but then never actually showed up or cancelled, so I never give the address in advance now.  You can just tell them
its ‘near the duck pond’ or give the postcode, so that they can check directions, but they don’t need your exact address until they are due to collect. 

blobby123ff

To all the people saying she's allowed to only sell to women. Turn the tables and ask yourself is a man okay to only sell items to men only?
I have a weight lifting set can I only sell to men or would you get annoyed? 

Spoonie_Turtle

blobby123ff said:

To all the people saying she's allowed to only sell to women. Turn the tables and ask yourself is a man okay to only sell items to men only?
I have a weight lifting set can I only sell to men or would you get annoyed? 

That doesn't work. 
There isn't a pervasive societal problem of violence against men by women.  There are instances, certainly, and male survivors need to be believed and supported; but you cannot just 'turn the tables' unless you want to talk about basically a parallel universe in which the entire social structure is the complete opposite.

Edited: typos