Money Moral Dilemma: Should I have got my wife a second Christmas gift, as her first one was free?

Agent57

"..the loyalty scheme gives one customer their purchase for free every week in each store."  Wow,  Please let us know the name of this store. 

Of course it's not really free as you will be paying for it in other ways through higher prices on other things.

RobN_1982

I feel like there’s absolutely no need to. You got her a generous-sounding present that you intended to pay for, and it’s the thought that counts. You could now look at it from the viewpoint “I have £100 burning a hole in my pocket” (if your finances make it so) and offer to pay for a meal out or something. But not a second gift; it’s ridiculous for anyone to suggest you should do that

iclayt

"Should" she feel entitled? Probably not, but I take it she does. I think I would be annoyed if I found out it hadn't cost you anything when I had spent money on you, whether I "should" be annoyed is irrelevant.

I would have bought my partner another gift as well and explained that the coat had been a lucky win at the till. It wouldn't have even occurred to me to do otherwise. You were happy to spend the money on a "reasonably expensive" coat so to pocket that money instead feels mean. If you instead spent it on an essential like a food shop or bills, you might be able to get away with it...

Agent57

I have had occasions when my logic gets thrown into chaos.

I decide on a gift that a person wants of a certain value that is appropriate.  Then I get to the till and they charge me less.  This should obviously be a good thing but now I have to decide on another item to buy and go and track that down.  So I still end up spending the same amount of money but have extra stress and hassle.  I wish retailers would ditch all these gimmicks and just be clear and up front what the price is.

confusedgranny

Bit late to ask now.
You could have had the conversation at the time. 'I just went to buy something and got it free - what shall we do with the cash'.
But then I don't do Christmas presents, and my husband & I had joint money so it didn't arise.

Ringo90

Seriously, no! A gift is not about the money spent on it and, after all, you were going to pay for the coat and it was your loyalty scheme that allowed you to get it for free, you didn't steal it. If I were the recipient, not only I'd be flattered by the thought but I'd even happier to know my loved one didn't have to spend so much money on it.
The only scenario where I would see a problem is one in which you don't usually get her such expensive gifts, and so your gesture might guilt trick her into buying a more expensive gift as well (and actually paying). I hope that is not the case, but even then, I would rather tell her the truth than buying her another gift.

theresacoo76

Take her for a meal. 

Spendless

I think if it was either of us, we'd have waited until the present was opened on Christmas day and said 'I have a funny story to tell you about this' said what happened and then said so what shall we do with the money saved and opened up a conversation if there was something additional that the other would like or whether you should spend it or just  put the money to something else. Since that boat has sailed I think I'd just put the money you would have spent into buying a more expensive present for the next occasion eg anniversary or birthday and keep quiet.

This is assuming your wife isn't going to find out. My husband once entered a prize draw for a suit and a day at the races when he purchased something. When his name was drawn it was all over the store's SM.  No way would he be able to have passed that on without revealing he'd actually won it. 

Philip_P

Are you mad? There's no problem, providing she doesn't know!

SadieO

Spendless said:

I think if it was either of us, we'd have waited until the present was opened on Christmas day and said 'I have a funny story to tell you about this' said what happened and then said so what shall we do with the money saved and opened up a conversation if there was something additional that the other would like or whether you should spend it or just  put the money to something else. 

I like this answer! Use the unexpected money for something nice that you both benefit from such as going out for a nice meal or if there's something you want for the house.

My OH and I don't tend to bother buying each other presents. We have our own bank accounts plus joint accounts but overall we consider all money that comes in as family money, regardless of which account it happens to land in. So it seems a bit daft to us to use that money to secretly buy things for the other person, out of what is effectively their money. 

I appreciate everyone is different though, and buying gifts is some peoples' "love language" if you excuse the slightly cheesy term! We tend to just buy things for the house that we both want (eg if we need a new telly) and/or to go on holiday! If there's a large or expensive item that one of us wants/needs (eg a coat) then it gets bought, (providing its in budget etc), we see no reason to consider this as one person buying it for the other person, as it's all ultimately coming out of the same pot.