brand new wannabee looking for friendly help

bellsbells

Ah - thank you, that makes more sense now. What does OH pay for then? It sounds like you need top talk to him about how much things cost each month and how much you owe on things like utility bills.

tealady

Council Tax. You said the bailiffs have been called in. This is whats called a priority debt so needs to be tackled 1st. If the case han't gone to court ask the Council if they will stop the case and offer them your current payments plus an amount off the arrears. It is one of the few debts people can go to prison over so it MUST be tackled.
Sorry if that soundfs scary keep your chin up.

loneranger

Firstly - Stop calling yourself stupid - do it often enough and you will become stupid - which you are not.
Secondly - Deal with the council tax ASAP -Make an appointment at your local CT dept and explain your situation and tell them that you are dealing with your debt, make a realistic offer of regular payments and stick to it. If they say they can't do anything because it is in the hands of the bailiffs - firstly ask if there is a chance they could transfer it back from the bailiffs - if they say they can't contact the bailiffs before they contact you - explain your situation and ask them if you can make them regular payments and stick to them if they agree.
Thirdly - Check that you are getting all the care benefit entitlements for your disabled son.
Fourthly - If you are going to get in control of your debts you need to be in control of your income = Get a bank account for bills and debts only and both you and your OH can put in agreed amounts to cover these.

littlemissclumsy

bellsbells: i know its a real mess. OH has income but this certainly isnt mine! yes he pays these bills, has fixed Direct Debits for most but is totally unrealistic about mounts so we always underpay.
he gets v v angry if eg. the elec bill is higher than anticipated on his little 'budget' - for this reason i have always kept the real bills to myself and struggled through really for my own sanity and safety.
yes we ger DLA etc but all to his account. I just get CB to pay for food.

you are all right about the Council Tax. This proves my point. we pay £30 per month - it isnt even touching the real annual bill!

OH knows about this debt but thinks we cant afford more... oh yes we can! but cant press this point>>>

loneranger

Littlemissclumsy - Reading between the lines here it sounds you are at the receiving end of OH's anger about the cost of living - this is not your fault -you will not do yourself or him 0r your son any favours by trying to pretend that these debts don't exist. Please go to CAB and get some advise on your whole situation -advice is free and confidential - CB isn't enough to cover food and DLA is meant to be for the cost of your son's care and extra needs.

bellsbells

loneranger wrote: »

Littlemissclumsy - Reading between the lines here it sounds you are at the receiving end of OH's anger about the cost of living - this is not your fault -you will not do yourself or him 0r your son any favours by trying to pretend that these debts don't exist. Please go to CAB and get some advise on your whole situation -advice is free and confidential - CB isn't enough to cover food and DLA is meant to be for the cost of your son's care and extra needs.

this is a fair point - your OH really needs to see exactly how much things are costing. Or if he is really unhappy get him to search around for cheaper packages - e.g your internet is £19 a month. Could you find a £10 a month package?

Penny2myName

your OH cant blame you for the cost of CT, each year we all get a set amount, and that's the amount we HAVE to pay, whether your OH likes it or not. Mine was £72.50 a month and I live in one of the cheapest areas in Britain. Admittedly mine is now £0 but that's due to being on benefits.

littlemissclumsy

thanks bellsbells and lone ranger. CAB must be my next step...but I am embarrassed as i know quite a few of the staff in my local bureau through work.

is it confidential if i went to a bureau in another town? could they still see me on the system?will the bailiffs count my OH earnings? i guess so

yes i do take his wrath, have done for years. he suffers from depression himself nd i guess i have tried to make it easier but its a habit now.

sorry for posting but this is so helpful. a problem shared ......

CAB, Council Tax then face other debts...

this way of living impacts on everything and i have had enough!

littlemissclumsy

Tustastic...the spending diary is a great idea! I get CB of £65 per wk and this is really my food budget for 8! gulp! so that board you mention sounds really useful...

will take a look now. :j

beverleyhills

Hello LMC

Season's Greetings and welcome to MSE

[quote=littlemissclumsy;7446251]this is daunting and difficult. i am sitting here scribbling down my debts.
finding it very embarrassing that i have let things get to this stage.

sure i must be the stupidest poster on here!

you messages of support are keeping me going this morning though. thankyou[/quote]

How do you eat an elephant? A Bit(e) at a time. Before I get my coat, stick with us, there are many veterans of bumpy rides.