Buying a little piece of Middle England; Manifesting my way to mortgage free.

slm6002

I am so sorry you have to deal with XH and his toxic way.  I totally understand and am secretly happy inside that my children no longer want to visit with XH, as their happy friendly way of being with me was always changed after a visit.  I still hear his voice in my head when I am doing things, so he is still controlling me even though I have not talked to him or seen him in years.  You are doing a marvellous job of raising your children and providing them with  balanced meals.  Keep going and I am sure DS will be back to normal shortly.  

As to having a good nosey of house and cars, I am sure that is only because he is jealous of you managing your money better than him.

Enjoy snuggling on the sofa under your blanket.

KajiKita

I’m sorry you are feeling a bit under siege. Hope the blanket time helps. 

Your one neighbour sounds absolutely lovely - a real friend in the making 😊 But seven(!) dogs ….?? Wowsers … I can’t imagine the poop picking they must have to do! 😳 FWIW, I believe you can have a fence up to 6ft 5” (2m) if 6ft wouldn’t quite keep you out of sight of the dogs? 

The Ex is an Ex for a good reason. The scales are falling from DD’s eyes. It will be DS’s turn next … hang on in there. And yes, I agree with slm6002, he is jealous of what you have and what you’ve achieved. Ignore him. 

KK

daisy_1571

Would it be helpful (when hes in a better mood) to lay out some photos side by side of ds1 and ex at same age then older and current photos of them underneath with obviously spaces for ds2 as he hasn't reached their ages yet?  Let him see they have both inherited their dads build and weight will likely go on as he ages

KajiKita

daisy_1571 said:

Would it be helpful (when hes in a better mood) to lay out some photos side by side of ds1 and ex at same age then older and current photos of them underneath with obviously spaces for ds2 as he hasn't reached their ages yet?  Let him see they have both inherited their dads build and weight will likely go on as he ages

Really good thinking 👏😊

KK

debtfreewannabe321

Thank you all 🥰
I had a nap my headache is easing off. 
I did just that thank you for the idea. I found some old videos and photos on FB of DS 1 at the same age and sent them to DS2. He was just as skinny. I've since given ex back all pics of him at around 18/19 plus he's a few years older than DS2 right now and even DS1 had bulked out by then a little. Pointed out to DS2 that DS1 ate a full omnivore diet at that point too so it had nothing to do with his diet why he's so slim. Because I know the angle ex idiot is angling for. He's tried it before. If anything I'm more mindful about how we eat now than we ever did then.

Today was a write off but in the mse sense good as was another NSD. So small win there as th rest of the day was pretty rubbish. 

skint_spice

My DS was a similar build at that age as were many of his friends, they are now mid 20s they have lost their lanky physiques and put on a bit of muscle.

slm6002

He is also running miles so no wonder he is slim

Watty1

Hope you are feeling better today.

debtfreewannabe321

Thank you all, I still have a headache. I'm going to stop the tablets I'm on. The headache wears off and as soon as I take my next dose it's back again for hours on end. I also have a dry mouth which is causing me to cough. I only have a few days left anyway of it so I will taper off what I have and wait for my next appointment next Wednesday. Do my body some good to detox this drug anyway before starting some HRT. I don't trust any tablet that gives me this many side effects. Especially when it's not even helping me with ALL of the meno symptoms only hot flushes and that is only a partial success.

I've Also been on the Internet searching for a chat bot to make me a meal plan which I've done.

My good eating habits have fallen by the wayside lately with me having zero energy and headaches. I made a nice ratatouille last night and the leftovers I will blitz today and use as a pasta sauce for dinner.

 But I wanted some ideas for me because what I need to eat clashes with what the rest of the family wants to eat. I've downloaded a meal plan just for me, GF, VG, and no ginger (I had a horrible reaction the other day when it was hidden in something), no sulphites and low sodium (supposed to help with the dizzy spells I'm continually having at the mo with the possible menieres which I'm kinda glad I know isn't related to the meno as it seemed like a weird symptom especially when I feel discombobulated and faint with it and my ears do start going strange at the same time)...the plan is more varied than I thought possible 🤣. DP even asked if there was anything left to eat 🤣. I think I will change a few bits though as a couple of ingredients look hard to find locally without going back into the city (buckwheat groats???)
So anyway I'm going to do something I've never done I'm going to make myself some meals and not anyone else. I have to start looking after myself better. 
When the kids want to eat pizza or burgers in buns I'm like fine, and I eat it too (VG version but not always gf and even when it is it's yuk and costs loads of money) so I'm going to just start making my own dinners and everyone else can eat something else. I will try and spend some time this week making bulk meals to put in the freezer for the next few weeks. I only have four weeks at work before another week off so if I can spend a couple of days meal prepping (to what feels like the extreme here 😆) perhaps it will pay off when I've stopped these tablets and am waiting for the new ones to start working. I'm fed up of not feeling myself and having no energy now.

I weighed myself for the first time since moving in too and I've put on so much weight 😢 I was already about a stone overweight and now I'm about two. And everything is starting to go south.... when my energy comes back I want to start exercising again too. But I am struggling to do it at the moment. I walked 12k steps the other day and I think it's what helped to write off the next day on the sofa. 

Ok rubbish update out the way.
Positive updates-
I bought some pretty hanging baskets full of violas at only £7.99 each. Bargain I thought. They have dressed the side of the garage nicely 😃
It's raining! Will save me watering for one day. Everything has had a really good soaking.
I've got onto the people I bought hedges from and want a partial refund for dead hedges. 
Cashed out tenner on surveys.
Had a lovely few days with DP as he was off work.
We spent money in garden centres and in restaurants but it's all been paid for from holiday money 😃👏🏻.
Half way through the month now and I still have £300 in the grocery fund or thereabouts. Which is good considering we've bought take outs and Easter eggs etc on top of usual shops. 
Had a meeting with my main bank about loans. Was offered a provisional 11.9% rate and was the lowest they did for the amount we want. She suggested we contact our mortgage provider and ask them what they could do as we may be able to get a top up mortgage immediately as it's home improvement and we'd get a mortgage rate rather than a loan rate. So that's our next job to do. This would work out a lot better too as we planned to have it put into the mortgage when our fixed rate is up anyway....so that's the news on the loan...which I think was good as we hadn't considered adding to the mortgage now.
Other good news I got a call yesterday and my referral to ENT is being put through and he asked where I'd like to be referred to! This has never happened when I've been referred before and I've always seemed to get unlucky with a hospital the furthest away from me. I literally live a five minute drive from one now so he referred me there 👏🏻😃. 


Today's jobs

I would really like to do some housework today but once again, headache. Which ibuprofen and paracetamol don't touch. I will skip my dosage this morning and just take them at bedtime now until they run out (probably by Friday they'll be done). I need to go shopping for food. I've eeked everything out as long as I could and I've done well with it but things are looking a bit bare now. Especially the veg and fresh stuff. Jars and dried things and tins are okay though. 
Need to make that meal plan really and a shopping list and decide what I'm cooking today and for the rest of the week try to make at least two portions of everything. 
I also want to re-pot my grandma spider plant later. I have a new pot from the garden centre (half price) and some compost. So I guess I best get on really. I hope to come back later with updates that I achieved it all. But I won't set myself up for failure I'll just be realistic and I'd like to achieve a shopping list, meal plan and something healthy cooked for me. (+ And everyone else!) 

debtfreewannabe321

Totally screwed up oops. Found it fallen behind a chair.
Updated it. We've saved over £2k since moving in here even amidst decorating and other costs like new windows and greenhouses and new car etc so I'm pleased with this. I'll keep chipping away at the mortgage even if it is small amounts 😊. Almost half way to my rainy day fund. And almost half way to the mortgage op goal too. 
Skiing is being spent as it's being saved but that was the plan and driving lessons are in there at the mo but if ex doesn't pay up next month it will be used for the next ski payments.