Buying a little piece of Middle England; Manifesting my way to mortgage free.

ladybird1106

Food looks fantastic, my lasagna never holds its shape. Well done on the EF front. 
Love 🐞

debtfreewannabe321

Morning all, 
Thanks @killerpeaty & @ladybird1106 ...we actually made the lasagna go to two dinners anyway so I don't need to cook that again this month..but it was really good and went down well even reheated. 

This morning I have woken up bright and early without the alarm, I think the brighter mornings are helping, and the birds singing. My mood isn't so bright though, not sure why, think it is all the stress of the last few weeks catching up with me, job interviews, waiting on results of job interviews,  my work (my poor body being punished at work- bad back and foot), DS2 returning home in a foul non communicative mood.... I have meditated this morning and feel a little better though now. I have also walked the dog so have had some fresh air. I had a relatively good night sleep last night too so all will be well. 

I will go and see what is on the meal planner and make something, possibly a dhal today I think but not sure, will see what takes my fancy. The freezer is pretty chokkablock so I need to make sure I have room to store any batch cooking. A full freezer makes me happy though, hopefully the last week's shop of the month should be quite cheap because of that. 

I am going to send off the odd few quid to the EF now as I have had the Child Benefit land this morning, then I am at £1000 on the EF! On pay day I intend to send £50 over to the MOP too. Having a moment to appreciate all that is going well for us right now, finances (even if pots aren't full we aren't in the red), the house is almost finished, DD got some excellent mock results back, DS is home even if he is intent on punishing me for something/ anything/ nothing by giving me rude  or silent treatment or biting my head off at nothing....I think I just need to focus on the present, focus on what is okay right and stop stressing about things that haven't happened yet. 

I might make some flapjack today too, everyone seems to be enjoying the homemade treats and it is keeping the food budget down a lot. I know I have some dried fruit, nuts and oats so think I can knock something up. Oooof and I forgot to email DD new school back about her A-Level choices....I best do that in a moment, although she is now having second thoughts about it as she doesn't want to do Biology and I don't think there was another option for her (the school is specialised that she wanted to go to and she had to choose a science or maths subject and she wants neither, they're not her strong points, it's a shame though as the school is her first choice). Right I might be back, but going to throw open a few windows, put some music on and try to shift my mood...Oh and 19 more shifts at work before I quit that makes me smile! 

beanielou

Just to say that DS's at that age are dire. They go get better 

debtfreewannabe321

beanielou said:

Just to say that DS's at that age are dire. They go get better 

urgh I know you are right @beanielou. They really are dire It is so hard when you are in the thick of their mood, the atmosphere in the whole house is just depressive. My eldest DS was the same but they have an 11 year age gap....I had kinda forgotten just how bad they are. SIGH..... this is why I said I wanted 3 girls. I can manage emotions and mood swings, I can't manage pure aggression and someone who doesn't communicate. It is like we are strangers in the same house. I understand this is because my ExH is bad mouthing me (DD has told me what he says) but I would like DS to wake up and realise ExH is just a compulsive liar and will say and do anything he can to manipulate those around him into feeling sorry for him or seeing him as victor/ saviour...i should know I was in the web of this for 2 decades and he did the same to me.

He's already had a strop this morning, at a towel rail refusing to hold up his clothes. He nearly pulled the damned thing off the wall, then quiet mum wouldn't have stayed quiet for very long.......anyway he is in his room now doing work so hopefully peace for a while.

debtfreewannabe321

So yesterday I was kind of confronted with my colleague/ friend asking me if I liked mutual (energy vampire) ex-colleague/ friend ...I was honest and said I am indifferent to her, and the thing I do not like is that she will bring up the past over and over and over like a stuck record....one example of this energy vampires favourite story is of when friend (who asked me if I liked this woman) took new pills from the dr and they clashed with something she was already taking and it caused her to be drowsy at work..energy vampire ex colleague made it out to be my friend tried to dead herself, which friend will openly say no I didn't to, and energy vampire will say but **** you did, you were so depressed, and she will launch into a whole tirade of how she was the saviour and her only friend (this happened before I took over this ex colleague's job so I wasn't there even)...I said to friend, well, I am sorry but we've all been where you were, depressed, and feeling that way, but if someone were to bring up how I felt that one time when I was depressed and wanted to end it EVERY time we had tea and cake I would personally start to question why this friend is doing this. It's low vibe, negative and puts a downer on the entire day. EVERYONE has bad days/ weeks/ months and sometimes years....it is the cycle of life, and if ex colleague thinks that I don't like her I would like to know what it is based on...
I know what it is based on, she had recounted this story to me three times in a f-ing row, and the fourth time she added dramatic flair and depressive voices for good effect and I changed the subject to something happier and every time she brought the subject back to that one I sighed very loudly and rolled my eyes like a child (probably) and tried again to change the subject I think I know why I have barely any friends, I cannot and will not sit through everyone's past dramas over and over again like it is a darned episode of Eastenders. I would rather be friendless. 

Then ex colleague tried to say to friend, DFW only wants to know you so she can steal your hours at work. I laughed at that point and said, did you tell ex colleague that I am quitting before you Oh sheesh the dramas of the work place...this is why I quite happily stayed home childminding, happy innocent little souls, and then playing landlord for a few years. I cannot and will not tolerate negative nancy's storytelling hour it is like hate hour over and over and over.

SORRY needed a little rant there. I am proud of myself for telling friend though I don't want to hear her negative stories any more and it is time she told some happy ones...she personally had told me that story and we had a heart to heart without drama added,  I didn't need it third hand with added flair for good measure. Friend messaged me this morning....thank you, you are right, she tells that story EVERY time we have met for 2 years. I wasn't actually aware of it, but it is like she wants me to look up to her as saviour or something....
Yay. Breakthrough...and I guess weekly tea and catch up with negative nancy is over finally

SO anyway MSE, I put across the odd few quid to my EF and I will hold off on the MOP ...I had a bit of a impulsive spend day yesterday, I bought a course online, I think I am having some sort of midlife crisis and I panicked about quitting my rubbish job, about being a sahm again to kids who don't need or want me, having no pension, having no career (cos I chose to look after ungrateful kids) and basically just got really sad and anxious. Meditated again and asked for a refund on the course will have to wait for 3-5 business days for it back but it was a NSD lol.
Today I found a free 1 hour webinar thing which is about to start actually, so I will go do that instead. Definitely MS  

I will check back in in a bit lol

debtfreewannabe321

Well I am back and the webinar was really quite useful actually. I had a quick look at the course I downloaded yesterday and it didn't look to be very engaging and I didn't like the energy of the course tutors in the first video. They really should have put a 1 minute video on to show the people running it, I definitely go on vibes, and if I am not feeling it with someone I won't learn anything So I am glad I got the refund and found this free one instead. 

DP is away with work today so I will get some dinner out and prepped for later on, not sure yet but air cadets this eve so something quick-ish I think.

My friend/ colleague has messaged again this morning asking if I would like to go for tea and cake this week but without ex colleague...I now feel a bit guilty that she is being excluded. No pleasing some of us eh I told her if she already had plans with ex colleague to just go with her as I am trying to save money until pay day (I'm not really but felt I ought to give her an out).

SO my boss yesterday caught me totally unawares and asked if I would like my colleagues extra hours when she leaves (as she is moving it is assumed she will leave at some point). She doesn't know I am quitting yet. I understand now why ex colleague was telling my friend/ colleague that all I was friends with her for was for her hours when she goes, ex colleague is boss' mother in law
I could actually write a novel based on that place and all it's inhabitants and their perceived dramas.....

It is raining here on and off so I need to walk the dog in between showers, get dinner ready, I am planning a NSD, I have had subscriptions come out so I have parcels due. I have a small stock of shampoos and conditioners and soaps now upstairs which is great, as I was finding we were running out and nearest shop that sells the brand that we use is 15 miles away so I was popping to the local Mr T or boots and grabbing other things which we don't really like using. So not particularly MS storing the shops goods for them (I have seen this written on a thread elsewhere and understand the logic of not having stocks and thought it a novel way to look at MS actually,) but things like this I would rather have in to save me wasting money on products that aren't good. I do need to pay more attention to the subscriptions because I sometimes forget to write these down in my book and then I think I have more cashflow then I do. 

The subscriptions I have are all toiletries and bathroom products and a few cleaning products alongside my tea bags and boxes of crisps...I have narrowed this down from LOTS of things on subscription (at one point I had about 15 things all on subscription and it is too hard to keep track of) to only having things from A^^azon that are cheaper than the SMs or hard to get hold of in my small town (all the natural, vegan toiletries basically).

I am nearly at payout threshold for one of my survey sites again. I used the vouchers I earned last week on DS as he wanted a coffee aero press thing (I don't drink coffee but I think that was right) so I basically gave in a pacified and rewarded his bad behaviour in the hopes he would be nice to me. That's not good parenting in case you are wondering, bribery didn't work, and he is still moody and I am down £10 as well as £30 vouchers. Ah well.....

Okay off now to catch up on a few diaries before logging out for the day.

debtfreewannabe321

Just found messages in the message section I forget to check, oops. Have replied now if you have messaged me.

Just added up all grocery spends for GC and am currently at £264.12 with two and a bit weeks left of the month. I think I can bring it in on budget as we have lots in the freezer and all the things like dried beans and bulk rice are okay at least until next month. I do need another sack of potatoes though, wasn't too impressed with this last lot, many were very green and squidgey and not good quality. Not sure if to go back to shop bags which always work out more money. 

I am itching to do some PAD and TT to the MOP but I dare not until I have had my refund back for s'burys and the impulse course purchase Oh I did get my Next refund through after chasing it, but it is on my account with them as I always use my Next card to buy things, so it can stay until I need something, I am thinking of purchasing new boots so I might do that next month with it, and DP needs new T shirts so I will hold off for now as clothing budget is minimal after my purchase of trainers and wait for next month (now this is a new thing for me, waiting...haha).

~FlowerPot~

Sorry to hear your DS is being a moody pain in th b*tt!!! They really arent themselves as teenagers.

I have been very lucky with my 2 DSs (21 and 19) when it comes to rudeness and anger and being moody,( but DS1 has still been and still is very difficult largely due to his autism) but my DD (15) has been a whole different kettle of fish!!! she has been tricky all the way through, again largely due to extremly high anxiety and autism.

I like the sound of all your subscriptions, although not very MS. I did once have a subsription for some dairy free choc, but stopped it. and my grandma used to buy me a magazine every week which i loved! I am tempted to take a look for something fun!!

HAve you looked on v!nted for DSs tshirts? you can filter new and new without labels, worth checking out incase they have a bargain!

debtfreewannabe321

~FlowerPot~ said:

Sorry to hear your DS is being a moody pain in th b*tt!!! They really arent themselves as teenagers.

I have been very lucky with my 2 DSs (21 and 19) when it comes to rudeness and anger and being moody,( but DS1 has still been and still is very difficult largely due to his autism) but my DD (15) has been a whole different kettle of fish!!! she has been tricky all the way through, again largely due to extremly high anxiety and autism.

I like the sound of all your subscriptions, although not very MS. I did once have a subsription for some dairy free choc, but stopped it. and my grandma used to buy me a magazine every week which i loved! I am tempted to take a look for something fun!!

HAve you looked on v!nted for DSs tshirts? you can filter new and new without labels, worth checking out incase they have a bargain!

Thanks @~FlowerPot~ I have recently joined up to v1nted so I will have a look there first that could save a few bob hopefully. 
DS is like his brother was at this age - hormonal and hating on mum...I really don't get it. DD is always saying to him why are you speaking to mum like that she's not done anything...which I appreciate because I start to think perhaps I am doing something wrong 🤦🏻‍♀️.DS1 took until he moved out to be nice to me and now he's fine like none of those teenage years ever happened 😆 

debtfreewannabe321

Morning MFW world, I'm off to work early today we've got another sick member of staff. Friday I will be in early I should think as we have around four off all at once. Yesterday we had a last minute one off too. It's neverending..and I turned up yesterday to be greeted with, there's a new starter you're training her. I hadn't realised (hadn't been told) but thankfully she was a fast learner so that helped as we had double the work to do as one was off.

DP is wanting to move - well me too really. But I am a bit scared of the whole selling and buying process. We were badly burned when we bought this house. It wasn't my first choice (location or home) and I knew I wouldn't be staying after being gazumped on my first choice. No one seems to be very happy here. The kids have nothing to do in the area, I'm stuck with work because I don't want to pay expensive travel costs. DP spends a long time on the road getting to work when he's out and about. BUT on the flip side we've made the house beautiful and I've spent a long time sourcing bits for it, oh and our direct neighbours are nice 😆 ummm that's probably the most positives I can think of 🤣

So with that in mind we have been looking on r1ghtmove. We feel like we might have one more doer upper in us, glutton for punishment? We do them up to a fantastic standard and then immediately sell on...this is the second one since being together and we've also done a third house for someone else together...we've been together only four years 🙈 Anyway I've handed it over to the universe I don't want to get my hopes up and have them dashed like before. If it is meant to be it will be. 

So for now I will carry on with my savings pots and we shall see. 
I'm going to sort out dinner in a bit, have a tidy about the house and organise one area that's become overwhelming (this is how I handle dumping zones, one area at a time!) I think today I will do the conservatory, it's not a large one. It's become a dumping zone for boots, shoes, coats, boxes, charity stuff and is absolutely filthy as that's where we walk in with wet muddy shoes. It also has a spectacular sofa in it, beautiful pink and button back which holds all the cs and empty boxes. 🤣 Totally doesn't belong there but doesn't fit anywhere else. So that's today's mission 😎🤞

Righty-ho off to get started. Oo and should be a NSD and I've had my refund through from s'burys and the course I bought now! And had my payslip which has at least £60 extra which I will send straight to MOP when I get it. 😃