Watty's Awakening

Brewerspride

I'm lost for words, Watty.

Reminds me of an incident a few years ago when I was off work with work related stress. As part of the "managing attendance" procedures, I had to have a telephone appointment with someone from Occupational Health. I spent the whole call in tears and she ended it by telling me that I'd never get better if I wasn't prepared to discuss issues with her. Some people are obviously in the wrong job.

I think I agree with VNM on this. I hope the anxiety therapist proves to be more helpful/supportive.

Bargainhunter30

I think for most of the NHS their level of normal changes depending on the amount of people needing treatment. They can only afford to treat worst case scenarios and so everyone else is labelled normal.

There's also the postcode lottery, my ex BIL wasn't seen for mental health issues in Dorset because he wasn't bad enough but ended up with a social worker when he moved to NI because he was considered a serious case. Nothing had changed, just the location.

You wouldn't get that in private care, they treat anyone that needs it and hopefully stop things getting worse. Carry on with your private therapist Watty and trust your gut, you know it's not right and that the NHS care hasn't been right. VNM is right it's adding more stress.

beanielou

Blimey. That’s absolutely ridiculous. So not on So unsupportive. So sorry.

ladybird1106

have you considered making a complaint watty1.

Love 🐞

greenbee

I think those of us who are 'less unwell' often miss out on treatment and support because it is often targeted on those who have more aggressive/limiting symptoms. If a therapist is mostly seeing people who can't get out of bed/shower/feed themselves/do their own shopping, then someone who is holding it together and 'looks normal' probably seems as if they're doing pretty well. I once had an orthopaedic surgeon tell me I was fine because I could touch my toes and he couldn't… until he saw my scans. And the reason he couldn't touch his toes was because he couldn't reach over his gut ;)

This is what we use for ME/CFS/LC https://batemanhornecenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/FUNCAP27-questionnaire.pdf

I'm reasonably OK now. I don't have scores from 2020, as I only started recording them in the current app I use last year. But i've improved significantly using Visible (I think I was around 4.3) to 5.0 last month. Which means I'm 'almost normal', and with careful management (e.g. not washing my hair on a day when I need to stay up late/go out/use my brain) I can appear pretty normal. Some days aren't so good, other days I feel like my old self. But i'm guessing that a clinician who has been seeing people on the 1-2 scale isn't going to be feeling particularly sympathetic to me who can do most things - although hopefully they'd have the skills to hide it.

rtandon27

@Watty1 - adding my voice to all the others to say that was an appalling interaction. I'm wondering if you might consider a pivot to something like B3tt3rh3lp - as you are able to find a therapist who is tailored for you. I have two friends who currently use it and find it easy to slot in around their full time jobs. Personally I have very close to zero faith in the NHS and vote for private treatment every time, despite the personal cost. Good health is worth so much more than the cash!

badmemory

I was going to comment but I think others have done way better than I could. I will say gob smacked & how totally UNcaaring.

daisy_1571

Wow, thats awful indeed

Dxx

Cherryfudge

So sorry to hear this - it may be worth making a complaint. My experience with the NHS is a lot more positive than that of a lot of people here and the mental health nurse locally was very helpful, but once I finally got a PTSD assessment - many months after the incident - and it was decided I don't have PTSD, all they could offer was CBT which I tried and the therapist and I decided it wasn't helping.

After that I decided to go it on my own and, rather than trying any longer to solve the problem, I have tried to build a new future. I don't know if that was the right thing to do, but it's helped to look more forward than back. However, a wider understanding of myself has helped too, and wasn't primarily to do with the past.

Incidentally, while it's true that a lot of us carry baggage, we don't all carry an equal amount and our coping mechanisms vary. I wonder, as mentioned above, whether she saw all you can do and have done and didn't take a proper look at the cost to you of achieving those things, or the things that are simply too costly to force yourself into.

Anyway, I'm sending virtual hugs and as much support as I can fit into a post.

Watty1

Thank you all for your incredible support. I'm humbled by that.

I did think about complaining but have put that aside for now. I suspect as some of you have said, the fact I cope really well, have and continue to achieve makes it appear everything is fine. I noticed from the counsellor that there was an "attitude" to me having horses and land and that I should be ok because I have that. I suppose it is just different from many of the people she sees.

To me it is my life and I worked to get and keep my life. I see from the comments that this is the case for a lot of you, that your life comes at a cost to your health and wellbeing but you all do so well with that, and reading your diaries my guess is very few really know the costs of the lives we live or how we all manage.

Perhaps I just need to carry on, building my future and to work out how to get more time outside with the animals as that is what makes me feel so much better. I will see what the anxiety counsellor is like, but, to be honest I hold out little hope . I will just stick with the private person I am seeing.