La Dolce Vita - 2024

weenancyinAmerica

Happy Birthday Helen - hope it was a wonderful day. Good luck looking for your new "place to put down roots"!

helensbiggestfan

Good Morning My Lovely Friends. 

I can't believe it's over a month since I last posted.  Must do better!!!!!   Although to be honest I haven't much news, nothing exciting anyway,  I have been plagued with tummy issues 🙄 but hopefully it's all sorted now, 🤞 

It's also been an emotional few weeks.  My sons 40th birthday, where did the years go.  And last week was the 10th anniversary of my husbands death.  My husband died just a week after my sons 30th birthday so as you can imagine both these milestone birthdays were tinged with sadness.  My son was a little tearful on his birthday but we got through it ok.  His friends made a big fuss of him and he had a nice celebration in the end,  his wife pulled out all the stops to make his day special.  She's a gem.  

Anyway I feel this 10th anniversary has been a real turning point for our family, marking a transition to "life before" and "life after". Losing a parent when you are in your late 20s (my second son was 28) and early 30s is a cruel blow.  I know that my eldest is saddened that his father never got to see his children.  I try hard to be both grandmother and grandfather but I'm no substitute for a fun, wise and loving grandad.  Luckily my grandchildren have "cool uncle J" who they adore to help address the imbalance,  

One of my sons friends who I've known since he was a boy attended the party lost his mother fairly recently and has been struggling with that loss.  I noticed my son was very attentive to him.  Grief and loss changes us as people, just like any other form of adversity.  It destroys some and it makes others stronger.  I am relieved that my both boys seem to have become stronger, I think partly down to the love and support they get from their wives.  My sons friend has just met a new girlfriend who joined us,  I warmed to her immediately, she seemed genuine, gentle, kind and supportive so hopefully he too will be ok in time.  

Anyway.....enough of the philosophy. To paraphrase the words of "Red" in the "Shawshank Redemption". It's time to "get busy living".  Dental treatments now complete, big birthdays and significant anniversaries done and dusted, time to work on those outstanding goals.......

Time for Phase 2 of the Action Plan.  🤪

Hope you are all well, and that you are having a good summer and that you continue to enjoy La Dolce Vita.  😎

helensbiggestfan

It Begins......

House viewing booked for next Wednesday. 

It's one I fell in love with but couldn't really afford so I passed and someone else bought it.  The sale failed and It has just come back on the market. At a reduced price!!  bringing it within budget. 

maybe it has my name on it.  🤞🤞

wish me luck.......

Wednesday2000

Good luck! Are you staying in the same area that you are living in now?

I literally just called up to take our house off the market as we are going to wait until next year to move. I want to see how we are living on a fixed income now my husband has retired.

Debsnewbudget

fingers crossed that the house has your name on it. 

Might be worth asking agent why sale fell through, to make sure its not survey related.

helensbiggestfan

Debs.  Yes I will definitely be checking out the reasons for the house sale falling through.  Thanks for the reminder.  

The house is about 30/35 years old so although it looks a bit tired and needs a bit of updating I doubt that there is anything structurally wrong, no lead piping, wiring should be ok.  Might need a new boiler, but I always budget for a heating upgrade anyway.   The most likely upgrades that might be needed are windows and/or guttering, downpipes, fascia's etc.  The roof should be well within its lifespan. Hopefully there won't be anything too nasty.  

I know the area well, grew up quite near there so I know there is no flood risk, subsidence, radon gas, noxious factories etc.

I have noticed there are lot of sales falling through at the moment, mainly due to chains collapsing. The house is not lived in so presumably the owners are the end of the chain and of course I am in rented accommodation so in theory there shouldn't be any untoward problems.  Anyway I'll be sure to do due diligence.  

Wednesday.  Ooh didnt realise your husband had retired.  Fabulous.  Are you enjoying yourselves.  Good idea to wait a little while before making my sweeping changes, gives you time to find your feet and think about what you really want.  

I am so glad I rented for a while and gave myself plenty of thinking time. I now know exactly where I want to live and the type of house I am after.  The area is the opposite side of the city from where I currently live.  Closer to friends and family, which is my top priority now.  

Just need to make it happen......

Wednesday2000

Is this your final move to your (hopefully) dream house Helen? We are thinking of moving to Broadstairs in Kent and we have narrowed down the area we would like by visiting, but we thought that there is no real rush so we might move next year or even wait longer. 

My husband retired officially at the end of June. I am trying to get a grip with being on a fixed income now and coming up with a daily routine. I am trying to walk on the treadmill while listening to a podcast each morning and read a few chapters of a book each day as a start. I'm sure I have saved money by using the library instead of just mindlessly buying books on my kindle.

helensbiggestfan

I think it will likely be my final move, or at least until I'm really decrepit and need either sheltered accommodation or a nursing home.  😱😂.  What a thought.......best not go there.  

If I do get that house it will likely need a new bathroom and kitchen at some point so my plan is to make them "age friendly".  There is plenty of room to have a lift or stairlift if necessary, the garden is level and already pretty low maintenance so hopefully it would be a good house to age in situ.  

I know that technically a bungalow might be a better option but tbh I don't want to downsize too much, at least not yet.  Living in this bungalow (which is a lot smaller than my last one) has taught me the type of house that would suit me best.  Either a large bungalow which tend to be expensive or a small house.  I did think about a nice large flat with a balcony but I think I would miss not having at least a small garden.  

It's always a compromise isn't it.  I do love period properties, the quirkier the better but often the very quirkiness that makes them so attractive makes them unsuitable for aging in situ.  My mum and dad lived in a lovely quaint cottage but once they became frail it just no longer worked for them. Sadly they left it too late to move (they were well in their 80s) and their final years were not as comfortable as they could have been if they had moved into more suitable accommodation.  And of course period properties do usually require more maintenance which could become a problem in the future.  

A funny thing.  Mick Jagger came up on my you tube feed.  He's 81 I think,  fit as a fiddle. Apparently he exercises for 3 hours day, 6 days a week.  He runs 8 miles every day unless he's doing a concert.  At his concerts he runs around 12 miles during his stage act.  Just watching him practicing his dancing was an eye opener - he really does move like a young man,  flexible and agile.  His father was a gym teacher and Mick says he has been heavily influenced by his fathers approach to fitness.  

Well done on using the treadmill.  I really must try again, I've fallen by the wayside of late.  I did contact our local David Lloyd gym because I could really do with some help and guidance to help me get fitter.  However, the fees are extortionate. I tried haggling but even their revised offer was too steep for me.  

The house I'm thinking of buying is a few minutes drive to a council run leisure centre.  My friend says it's really good, no pool but a nice gym and plenty of fitness classes.  Something to think about.  

Today I have been gardening, so I guess that's better than nothing.  😂

Wednesday2000

LOL! I meant final home as in your last move. I am thinking about this next house being our final move too. I think it puts more pressure thinking of it like that, though. If I win the lottery tonight I would be tempted to live in different parts of the UK renting. Living a few months in Brighton, Cornwall, York etc... to see what areas I really like.

My hairdresser goes to a gym near me and she said she bumped into the woman who does my manicures there too. I know it is important when you are middle aged and above to lift weights. She said it was only about £12 a month to join, but she said it smells like sweaty men in there so I wasn't tempted!

helensbiggestfan

Wednesday I agree.  Knowing it's my final move is putting a lot more pressure on me. I think it's probably making me somewhat indecisive and over cautious. I seem to be finding fault with everything ......including the one I viewed yesterday. It didn't feel right for me so I'm walking away.  Hey ho.  I'm sure I'll find the right one by and by.  

I saw a beauty - in the wilds of Scotland😂.  A perfect retreat, next to a loch, it even had its own bit of private beach and moorings.  I used to live in Scotland many moons ago and would be happy to go back there but it's too far away from my family.  

I know what you mean about winning the lottery.....I would have homes dotted about (and the staff to run them, lol).  Being a nomad would be great if I had the money to travel at will and in style and comfort between various homes.  

We can but dream.....

Ah well back to reality, housework day today and a bit of gardening if it warms up.  

Ps. Also agree with gyms and "sweaty men". Ugh. A guy walked in front of me the other day, the stench made me gag.  And he was at least 10ft away.  Imagine that in an enclosed space.  🤢