You can’t pour from an empty cup, the road to self care

Dorisd

As 2024 is almost here I think a new diary is in order.

I will be spending New Year’s Eve alone, not for the first time, the difference being this time I don’t have a significant other who would call me, and make sure they were the first to wish me a happy new year.

I will not dwell on what has been lost, but focus on what I have to gain and the new things that will come my way next year. 

I will start 2024 with a trip to the hairdresser, nothing like getting your roots done to lift the spirits. I will follow that with a massage, I found a great deal at a luxury hotel in the city. I will aim for a low spend year and will prioritise self care activities over things that I probably don’t need.

Flugelhorn

Self care is crucial - we can all use so much energy keeping other people happy - all the best for 2024 and your diary

Four_Seasons

Wishing you much happiness in 2024 x

sevenhills

Older people go in Wetherspoons, for coffee, dinner, tea and for alcohol. They are large pubs, where you may bump into an acquaintance. Going out on your own is no longer the taboo it used to be.

Happy New Year.

Dorisd

Wise words from you all. I will be more brave this year. 
To make this happen I have made a list of things I will do this year:

• Make new friends, I have joined some FB groups and hope to make some new friends
• Do activities' I enjoy, such as reading (already started reading 1 book and listened to 3 audiobooks last week) , visiting museums and galleries, run more, visit the seaside
• Speak more, make contact with old friends
• Take care of MH, start therapy 
• Get back on mse wagon and clear credit cards, I have joined a few more apps to get me going again
• Clear my space and make it nice (already started)
• Start my 6 min journal and keep going
• 
  

That should be enough to get me going and hopefully not too much so that I don't give up by mid January 

beanielou

Happy shiny new diary. 

amber03

A lot of people have decided this year that self care and being present in the moment are their priorities. I think we are all getting fed up with all this digital stuff. My phone goes away of a nighttime, I make sure when I’m watching a programme, I watch it and not browse on my phone/iPad. How many times I have finished watching a programme, but couldn’t tell you what happened as I was on my phone reading stuff.

Heres to a better 2024 for you Dorisd.xx

Dorisd

A lot of people have decided this year that self care and being present in the moment are their priorities. I think we are all getting fed up with all this digital stuff. My phone goes away of a nighttime, I make sure when I’m watching a programme, I watch it and not browse on my phone/iPad. How many times I have finished watching a programme, but couldn’t tell you what happened as I was on my phone reading stuff.

Heres to a better 2024 for you Dorisd.xx

A really good idea @amber03 thank you. No screens before bed and concentrate on one thing at a time instead of endlessly scrolling.

I had meant to give a round up of my financial affairs in this new diary as it is the beginning of the year, but I had spent most of yesterday going through my dads emails and statements and cannot face my own now. I have made a spreadsheet so we will know all his income and outgoings and when things are up for renewal. Luckily there is more than enough to cover outgoings but we really need to get moving on getting a deputyship application underway. From what I have read it can take anything from 4-6 months to get approved by the court of protection, and that is only for simple cases  . Not to mention ongoing costs associated with it.

I also really want to get moving on things at dads house, it seems he always took time off work, started a project at home and never quite finished them before he had to go back. Things like the oven needs to be wired in, and they need some security lights outside. Stepmum has said there have been at least 3 burglaries in the past few months in and around where they live so that and a camera doorbell are a must as she is worried about safety, especially when dad comes home. My stepmum and I both want to get these things sorted and fixed to make things comfortable and cosy for both of them.

So much to do, but it will keep me busy and focused.

Dorisd

I have managed some good sleep the past few days and now back to work. It is busy time for our department and lots of changes happening. I’m glad for the distraction but I no longer feel the same about the job. It will do for now and I got a pay rise and Xmas bonus which I’m thankful for. I do need to get a bit more organised and up my productivity. I feel like I’m just plodding and flirting from task to task without really accomplishing anything.
Part of my self care routine is walking, I have been walking minimum of 3 x day and easily getting in 10k steps. The walks can be anything from 15-30 minutes long and as I continue to recover from the surgery I can walk for longer, go further and faster. 

On my evening walks I listen to an audiobook or podcast. I have found a great one on mindfulness and the hosts voice is very relaxing. Got me through some of the worst of my anxiety attacks when things were very bad. It’s called Mindfulness for beginners and I totally recommend it.

Dorisd

So this year so far I have managed my second run post op and went further than I have for a very long time. I have also booked a holiday and I go in 3 weeks! I cannot wait for some winter sun and rest.

I feel like I am getting back on track at work too.
DH and I are on better terms and I can see the effort he is making, we have spent some good time together without putting pressure on ourselves.

Dorisd

I realise it has been a while since I last posted here. So much has happened since.
My dad was taken ill 3 weeks ago, being frail due to his illness last year he passed away. I was at his side and it was peaceful and very quick.
I am numb, I don’t know what to do with myself. DH has been supportive as I know this is hard for him because his dad passed the same way. 

Will it sound weird that I think I want to go back to work? I don’t think I can spend another day at home doing nothing, just left with my thoughts. My step mum is making arrangements so there is not much I can do. Things are difficult as we have been estranged from one of my brothers since last year and cannot get hold of him to let him know what’s happened.
I am lost but need to be strong for DD.