From Frugal Foundations to Fortified Family Future

Cheery_Daff

Just jumping in to share a little in the early retirement vein. Mr C left his office job at 47 - changes in management etc meant it had become unbearable, and we were both sick of him complaining about it ever night 😬 When he left, I was still at the tail end of my PhD (working a few hours a week at a relatively low paid job) and he had £17k in the bank - not exactly enough to tide over to state retirement age 😂

However, we had a few things in our favour. He'd always done a bit of self-employed work on the side, so carried that on, and still does so (it's not much, brings in probably around £2k a year these days). He'd bought a house with a previous partner when they were in their 20s - two people working full time, but they bought something they could afford on one salary (I know the market is very different these days!) He'd not quite paid the mortgage off, but it had been running for about 23 years at that point and was near the end. And of course we have a stupid age difference, and I was basically at the start of my career, meaning I was very likely to end up in a decently-paid job fairly swiftly.

Which is what happened, of course. Within a couple of years, I was working full time and earning almost the same salary as his previous office job. We finished paying off the mortgage, then moved house and because I'm still relatively young, took out another 25 year mortgage based on my salary and the promise of his future pension 😬 He took his works pension early at 58. We've never both had a full time job at the same time 😂

Anyway, blah blah blah. You probably didn't need all that waffle. He sounds very different to your DH and doesn't really have the 'provider' or 'worker' urge 😂 We have no dependents, of course. I think he has struggled with the lack of structure over the years, although that's not resulted in any part time job or voluntary work etc. And of course I'm still working, although now only 4 days a week, which does mean we spend time together pottering around cafes and charity shops - because of the age difference I consider this effectively our 'retirement' together. We don't do anything dramatic, but we do do things we enjoy.

MSE principles have of course stood us in good stead too, and my longstanding belief that 'it'll all turn out alright', which is what gave him the confidence to leave his job in the first place all those years ago, when in reality we didn't really know how it would turn out. We spend a fortune in cafes, but we're never going to be pensioners together and going on a cruise or anything so I reckon it's ok.

But so much of this, as you know, is about personality, not just numbers. But arming yourself with the numbers can't do any harm! Good luck x

Cheery_Daff

(Anyway, big old waffle, apologies, do feel free to ignore). Glad you had a lovely day out! X

Greying_Pilgrim

Thanks everyone. DH is starting to shift a little with his outlook/mentality, but whether that will ever change to 'pulling the trigger' remains to be seen. BUT I agree with what many of you have said, and it doesn't (necessarily) have to go from 40+hrs a week to 0hrs per week - there are plenty of 'inbetweens' and 'patchwork' (remember that Cheery!) scenarios. I do think DH will be reluctant to dig into a 'pot' - possibly because ours isn't that big, partly because of the 'it might run out too quickly' mentality. Also, I think this is our 'parenting' time - I don't know what our 'retirement' time will look like, but it's likely that LG won't feature so much - they will be in 'fledging' mode, and will want to be doing their own thing, with their own chums. So actually, now is the time - both for family 'activities' and for us to have the energy to do it. It won't be so many years until LG would rather be seen anywhere other than with their ma & pa………

I've put the washing on the airers - and it really doesn't need the dehu on - it dried well, I am so lucky. We haven't currently got the heating on. We're not being big and brave, it is just on the side of comfortable, so it can stay off - and the next time the temperature drops, we can trip the switch with no guilt.

For tea we had a curry plate. Cauliflower and chickpea curry, lentil dhal and rice. And do you know - the cauli in the curry was one out of a green box - I made the curry to use the cauli up - and LG munched it up, no bother! YAY! pud has been a fakey corneyetto for us all.

I made a mistake with the mushrooms ☹️ I normally give them a 'sniff' - I didn't today. I should have done. When I went to put them in the fridge, I realised that they were quietly "melting" 🤢 so 43p wasted ☹️ But I'm not going to risk food poisoning - or even spoiling other food, in making a dish.

Thanks for popping in. Greying X

edinburgher

@Staffordia - 52! 😱

badmemory

Oh the joys of remembering DS walking at least 5 paces ahead when we did go places together

Staffordia

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81895367#Comment_81895367

Best decision ever. I do realise that I was very fortunate, but aggressive saving had got me to a place where I could pull the trigger.

Watty1

I once thought I would retire at 50. I had plans but PPH had other ideas! Once I got free of him I started aggressive savings and I know I am profligate with money compared to many on here, but, if we take the horses out of the equation I am very MSE orientated and I have managed to build a pot.

I'm just working out this year how to pull the trigger but I understand the fear of actually doing so and being left with insufficient to survive on. I've gone through that so much this last 5 years, worrying about where to live, if I can afford to live and then saving hard so that I could. I am blessed I know, but I understand those who feel trapped and cannot give it up. I think it is a tough live decision.

Greying_Pilgrim

I hear ya Watty - I think DH has changed his opinion in some ways. If we hadn't of had LG then I don't know if he would have been anymore 'settled' about retiring early to be honest with you. Even if it had been just the 2 of us risking our health, well-being or welfare by living in a garden shed on next to nowt. Now we do have LG, DH maintains his 'hunter-gatherer' gene to support his family, but what has changed is that DH does see the value in spending time (quality time) with LG, and being a very "present" father - which actually is not to be sniffed at, as it wasn't something he experienced in his childhood. That doesn't mean to say that DH doesn't sometimes forget, and prioritises sorting out his self-tappers collection over taking a sandwich somewhere for a different view, or going to watch some sporting endeavour, or attend a agricultural show, or a village fete etc. But he does "get" the gift we've been given in parenthood. So now he understands the importance of time with LG, but still has the niggle about 'enough money' to actually live on. I'm not sure showing him "the books" will allay those fears - and when costs are so volatile (who else is fearing what the new CT will be for their area?), it does get difficult to work out what your number is.

Money wise, we've only got, "what we've got" and any future earning potential (whatever that looks like/is made up of). We certainly want to remember to 'live' now, because now is as important as 6 months time, or even 6 years time, but it's just a case of trying to work out how best to do that, with what we do have - and for clarification, I know that compared to many people we are blessed beyond measure, so in no way am I ungrateful for what we do have - these musings are just about how it could be structured differently to enable us to live differently. We're not in debt, don't want to be in debt, don't owe anyone anything, and never want to be a burden.

A wash is on, we've rain forecast today - and it's quite a high percentage chance, but the breeze is so useful, I've decided to take a punt in an effort to catch up. If all else fails, I'll just peg it out tomorrow, when we're supposed to stay dry, albeit it with a slightly less active breeze.

I was thanking my past self for getting the laundry done at the very start of half-term. It was sooooooo nice to be able to just pick stuff out this morning, and know that the next few days are covered, uniform-wise.

Greying X

Baileys_Babe

This morning I too thanked pass me for getting the uniforms washed at the very beginning of the half term holiday.

Like you and Mr GP we are working on how to balance living now and in the future so we have enough money but paid employment can cease earlier than SPA.

Jellytotts

Our “retirement” came on very suddenly after DH was involved in an accident at 41 years of age. Obviously it’s not retirement but disability but we’ve called it retirement to try and alter the mind set that certain words can have on the brain. We had 2 young teenagers to add to the mix at the time too, it wasn’t easy but you do learn to cope with what you’ve got. Our dual income is much less than a basic wage for one person and when we hit SP age our income will double! What a treat (if we live that long!). DH has taken 2 of his small pensions early due to medical retirement which give a small but helpful boost to the month.

I fished the whirrlygig out of the garage this morning and have 2 loads blustering around - peek excitement!