From Frugal Foundations to Fortified Family Future

rtandon27

@Greying_Pilgrim - random question of the evening - have you every tried Seitan & if so what did you think of it?

Greying_Pilgrim

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81894394#Comment_81894394

Not knowingly…….. that is vital wheat gluten isn't it? Nope, I'm pretty sure I haven't. I have done tofu (firm - don't think I've ever had silken 🤔), and I've had Tempeh - both cooked for me, and I've cooked it myself. I prefer tofu to tempeh, as tempeh can be bitter (you have to steam it before cooking - tiny bit of a faff).

Sorry, that's no help is it?

Greying X

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Morning MFWrs

A bright start to the day. I have put a wash on, but there is a chance of rain, and I'm not sure if we're going out or not, so drying might be a problem.

At least a slight lie-in (for our household) was achieved and the heating hasn't gone on this morning - YAY! Small win.

LG has just had some freshly squeezed orange juice, and they liked it. I know it's not as good as eating the oranges themselves, but they always have been fussy about the pith on oranges, so at least they have some benefit of the cheap oranges (they did also eat a couple of segments with tea last night).

If we take our lunch out somewhere it will be sangers, if we don't…… it might still be sangers.

Workwear and schoolwear is all prepped and ready for tomorrow.

LG had the TV on this morning, and there were 'toy' adverts 🙄This is nothing new, although there are just more kids programmes, across more media channels I suppose. But even LG commented on the uselessness of one 'toy' - I think they are supposed to be collectable, and all they seem to do is make a small noise. I realise that my family is no beacon of goodness when it comes to plastic in the home, but I thought it interesting that a small child could see the waste/ non-sense of this toy. I also see that slushy-ice makers have been 'updated' for the 21st century 🙄 Have we stopped putting nasty additives in the syrups that make crushed ice different colours?

Anyhoo, I'm wondering if days like today (may go out, may not, have a voucher, could pack a lunch, so it's only time and fuel for the car), are a 'dry run' for what retirement could look like (not everyday, obvs). But given that DH isn't enamoured with the thought of going to a NT property today, even for LG's benefit, I'm beginning to think that I don't know what 'early' retirement could look like. I know there is the 'one more year' syndrome (and we're far further out than 'one more year' anyway), but I honestly don't know if DH is the type of person to make the leap - he will always think him grafting away is the only way our family can 'afford' to be. It's not going to stop me trying, but as I am transitioning into running the household 'as if' he might be retired/semi-retired, it's an interesting obstacle to ponder over. I'm not giving up, before I've even started, but neither is it going to be easy. And whilst i know you're supposed to know your 'number' both for annual living expenses, and the size of your 'pot', I honestly don't think DH would worry less if we had £1m in the bank (we don't - just in case you thought we might….. 🤣), so I have no idea what number would make DH feel 'safe'. And if he comes up with "I'd feel safe if we had £5m savings", does that mean he'll never retire, as that kind of money is just unattainable.

Don't feel the need to answer - I'm just thinking out loud and thinking around the subject. Being mortgage free is one thing, but realising how much you can do, or want to do with the resources available, as you age, is another. It of course doesn't help that DH and I have slightly different ways of being. Mmmm, mucho thinking to be done.

Greying X

rtandon27

This is definately the place to think out loud GP & be secure in the thought that your tribe is supporting you.

I completely agree with your reasoning wrt making sure you are aware of your finances going forward. I would add a caution that life is made for living & making the most of every moment should be the goal. 'Most' is different for all of us and can even vary by the day. Today my most is luxuriating in PJs until noon watching love your weekend with OH. Zero extra cost, but today it is our most!

badmemory

I have a friend who at 79 still works. No longer 6 day weeks as when he was working for himself up to 4 years ago. Just 4 day weeks working for his son. When he doesn't work he just sits watching TV so working is actually better as it is fairly physical. I give him 6 months if he fully retires. Some men just don't seem to understand anything but working unfortunately & it isn't just about the money. Maybe self-worth. Which after a lifetime of grafting you would think would be enough - but!

beanielou

My mum worked part time til 79 3/4. She loved it and said it gave her a purpose. She worked hard all of her life and that’s her.

Blackcats

Dearest GP - here are some thoughts/ramblings based on early retirements chez la maison Blackcats.

I think I mentioned previously that MrBC stopped working way before state pension age because his work was making his unwell. I continued working and we adjusted to 1 income.

I searched for all of his workplace pensions and combined them into one pot which was invested into a SIPP. I taught myself about simple, v low risk investing and the pot grew. I thought I was reassuring DH by showing him a healthy pot of money which we could draw down if we needed to or wanted to. However, when DH started getting his state pension he massively relaxed about money because he knew that every 4 weeks money would arrive just like being at work. Turns out that he did not feel comfortable with the idea of taking money out of the SIPP pot because that felt like his money was diminishing and might run out. 🤷‍♀️

With hindsight maybe buying an annuity and getting regular monthly income would have been better and from what you say your DH might be similar and like to have the certainty of regular money coming in?

I couldn't wait to retire and never suffered from just 1 more year syndrome but I have former colleagues who are on their third "one more year". I had to rein myself in about saying "keep your job I'm off" 😂 but the principles are the same - how much do we need for essentials and how much is our more discretionary spending? How much for emergencies and how much for maintenance and replacements and improvements. And how much for fun and adventures.

You mentioned your LGPS - finding out how soon you can take it and how much you will receive if you take it early will be very useful. If you have regular money coming in that's practical and reassuring. I decided that receiving less £'s for longer was what suited us.

I also learned via MSE pensions board that DH could pay in £2880 per year into a SIPP generates a payment of around £720 from the tax man. You can put new money in every year or take some out and re-invest it the next year whilst not straying into recycling money which is frowned on. This is something you could think about doing as the non-earner (albeit that you are a hard worker 🙃). Do a search on the pensions board to get a far better technical explanation than I've given.

As for occupying himself and feeling useful to his family when not toiling for 40 odd hours a week, I think the gift of energy and time to the family is enough but I suspect your DH will still need to do something practical - an allotment, DIY and repairs might be useful things to contemplate.

Anyway I hope my ramblings might give you some useful food for thought as you navigate your way through your plans.

VintageHistorian

I have a vague recollection that my grandfather retired twice. First was the official retirement but he quickly got a bit bored and so got a part-time job, by the time he was ready to retire from that he had more hobbies and was finding there was plenty to keep him occupied outside of work hours, so if anything work was hindering him a bit.

Perhaps if Mr GP were to be persuaded to instead swap to part-time hours and shown that the money can go on other things (supporting LG through university or stopping off at new places when you drive to visit them) it might help him ease towards the idea that the essentials are covered and so he doesn't "need" to work, it's more for fun money than much else.

Greying_Pilgrim

Thank you everyone. I shall come back and have a re-read of your posts. I think that there are elements of what you say/have experienced, that pertain to our case. Interestingly Blackcats, DH did mention pensions again this morning, and looking at amalgamating. He won't do it himself, I will have to get involved - but the fact that he's shifted position to "mentioning" it is huge, and I am happy to acknowledge that. He is better than when we first got together - he was an ostrich - so credit where credit is due. He's not happy at work, so we need to be at least investigating options.

rt - totally agree with you, and I don't want us to be all sack cloth and ashes, but definitely not whilst we still have responsibility for a minor. We can't do everything, but I do still want us to do as much together as a family, whilst we still can. And whilst I try to make it so that we do things, and enjoy opportunities whether free or with cost, my 'wish' at the moment is that we do things together - not glued at the hip, and not always as a trio, but it isn't a priority for me to have regular "me" time - I respect other people feel differently. But I feel we were lucky enough to have LG, and I like being a mum (still under 'L' plates mind…), and want to spend time with our kiddo.

So, we did end up going out. We went to a NT property and used a coupon. We used one of the little maps that the NT have got better in providing for properties, and took in an area of the estate that we'd not visited before, so that was good. We had some lovely views, and when we stopped for a coffee, we were obviously quiet enough, as literally, in front of us, a little bird started hopping around a tree trunk, and it was a tree creeper! Literally out in the open, about 8 foot away from us. I've never seen one so close. And whilst it didn't stay still, and constantly was on the move, it was really visible. We were musing about seeing it, and I happened to turn around, and another tree creeper was on a tree trunk across the path. I've never seen them so low down in trees/above the ground before. We also saw a couple of red kites, and when I was getting the washing in at home, a couple of woodpeckers took off from the trees behind the house - have they paired up?

We were incredibly lucky, it stayed dry, the breeze wasn't too bad, and it helped that the air temperature was warmish, and we were blessed with sun. it was lovely to walk around in, and we sat on a dry bench, in the sun to munch our lunch. DH agreed (once we were out and enjoying the location and weather), that it had been the right decision to get out and about today.

On the way back, we called into a big(ish) MrT, but they didn't have what I'd been looking for, but I did buy some clothes for LG and a punnet of YS'd chestnut mushrooms for 43p.

I haven't had any thoughts about tea - we did have sangers for lunch, cheese salad sandwiches, and I used the last (huge) salad tommie that had come from the MrL green box. We all had a bit of tomato in our sandwiches!

Thanks for popping in - I can't have these sort of chats in RL, but on here folks have had similar experiences, or made similar life decisions etc, and you are always all so good in proffering a bit of advice, or a little bit of encouragement, or a suggestion - and I do appreciate it. I think I also greatly appreciate never feeling 'alone' on here. In RL, I don't regularly mix with people who are considering ER, well, not unless they've had life-changing inheritances, and as that isn't going to be in our future, we've got to make changes ourselves. So as rt has in her siggie - thanks to all those have gone before…….and left guiding string for the rest of us 😉

Greying X

Staffordia

I retired at 52 from the CS, I used savings to tide me over until I could claim my pension.

For me the priority was time to do things that I enjoyed whilst still 'young'. This is where MSE has stood us in good stead, and those principles don't leave you. We save for holidays and try to live mindfully in line with our principles.